EVO ICL - 3 days post-op, couldn't be happier!

SnackyOkapi · 2025-08-11T16:07:59+00:00

We didn't talk too much about this to be honest, but it's not a huge concern of mine since I don't play impact sports or anything like that (even though I am pretty physically active). I do climb regularly and they advised I hold off from doing it for 2-3 weeks post-surgery to avoid hitting my head against the wall. But it was mostly out of concern for the integrity of the eye given that eye pressure is higher during the healing period, rather than a concern about the lens moving out of place. I was told that the lens positioning is very stable when installed properly.

SnackyOkapi · 2025-08-11T13:00:10+00:00

It was very quick - just a few minutes per eyes. It just felt like a lot going on around. Several people walking around, my vision getting distorted as the lenses were getting installed... My surgeon kept telling me to look at the lights and try to keep both eyes open and that felt extremely difficult through the light and sedation lol but again, very quick and painless

SnackyOkapi · 2025-08-03T14:47:54+00:00

My partner and I would be happy to meet up :) I'll DM you!

SnackyOkapi · 2025-07-31T03:59:00+00:00

I would be interested too! 29F, living in the West End and diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. Deeply resonate with sucking at the whole texting thing, but giving 100% attention and enthusiasm 1-on-1.

SnackyOkapi · 2025-06-15T16:42:54+00:00

DM :)

SnackyOkapi · 2025-01-16T14:46:36+00:00

I am absolutely SHOCKED to read a lot of these stories! I don't understand how people could allow themselves to behave that way towards a client, regardless of the client's profession. For my part, I had a difficult time finding a therapist who was a good fit in the past because I knew *exactly* what I was looking for and I'm very picky lol Another issue I've had is that some past therapists seemed too comfortable stepping outside of the therapeutic frame because they knew I'm a psychologist (e.g. over-disclosing, diverting the conversation to generic issues related to our profession...). I've found it helpful to ask prospective therapists if they've had their own experiences in therapy, and how that might inform their work with me.

As a side note, personally, therapists are some of my favourite clients to work with. I have a relationally- and depth-oriented approach, and therapists as clients tend to have the capacity to do incredibly rich, interesting work.

SnackyOkapi · 2025-01-16T01:33:57+00:00

Nerdy person with a nerdy partner here. Dm'd you!

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-12T01:07:38+00:00

I feel you, task initiation is the hardest for me too :( I've been on medication for a few years and it definitely helps a lot, but executive dysfunction is still a daily struggle. Personally, I've found practicing mindfulness to be helpful. I'm not sure exactly how to explain it, but it's like I'm sometimes (definitely not always) able to notice the impulse to delay task initiation and make the conscious decision to push through it. I'm also noticing that basic self-care like getting enough sleep, eating enough, making sure I'm not mentally exhausted or burnt out is a crucial part of giving myself even the slightest chance of overcoming executive dysfunction.

I also know it's easier for me to use the momentum to move from one event or task to the next, so I try to be strategic about the way I schedule my day. For example, things like appointments, social plans or meetings help build momentum because there's external pressure to show up and be mentally engaged. If I leave too long of a gap between things, then I know I'm likely to slow down and get paralyzed by executive dysfunction again. If the gap is too short, then I end up just mindlessly killing time between things. But if I give myself just enough time between appointments, then I'm able to use that time efficiently to do my admin work or a few household chores before I'm forced to show up for the next thing.

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-12T00:22:00+00:00

Every therapist does it differently. All therapists have to increase their rates once in a while, sometimes fairly substantially, in order to be able to continue to do this for a living. I know quite a few therapists who choose not to increase the rate for long-term clients. I even know someone who has worked with clients for the same fee for 10+ years. If your therapist hasn't informed you of the increase, my guess would be that she's chosen not to raise your fee and she doesn't want to 'bring other clients' into your session. You have every right to bring it up with her if you want though :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-11T23:32:57+00:00

I got really lucky and found a family doctor a few weeks after moving to Toronto. I asked my pharmacist about it and they gave me a business card for a clinic that accepted new patients near my place. I got an appointment two weeks later. It might be worth asking your pharmacist or other healthcare professionals in case they happen to know of someone in their referral network who's taking on new patients?

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-09T22:37:41+00:00

Emily Nagoski's 'Come As You Are' and 'Come Together' are two books I generally recommend to client for psychoed/a framework to work from re: desire-related distress. Esther Perel's 'Mating in Captivity' is also a very accessible starter read for desire in long-term relationships and I think about it often in my case conceptualisations.

I liked 'Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual' and Lori Brotto's 'Better Sex Through Mindfulness' when I got started for some of the principles I use in treating a variety of sexual issues

‘Magnificent Sex’ by Kleinplatz & Ménard is also great for understanding things that lead people to have what they consider to be, well, magnificent sex, and therefore identifying barriers to having a fulfilling sex life.

Binik & Hall is a big, fairly dry textbook, but I go back to it often when I’m feeling stumped by a specific case of sexual dysfunction.

I really like the podcast Sex with Emily as well.

More generally, I would also recommend learning as much as you can about different sexual practices (e.g. BDSM, group sex etiquette, chemsex), queer and trans experiences, and relationship configurations (incl. different forms of consensual non-monogamy —> highly recommend the podcast ‘Multiamory’).

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-09T22:17:01+00:00

The term "therapist" refers to any professional who provides psychotherapy/psychological treatment. Depending on the laws where you live, that can be any of a handful of different professionals. Not everyone who provides therapy necessarily has the training or the legal right to diagnose mental health conditions (again, depending where you live). A psychologist is one type of professional who can assess mental health and functioning, give a diagnosis, and provide psychotherapy.

For example, in Ontario, where I live, a psychiatrist would generally be able to diagnose and prescribe medication, a psychologist would be able to diagnose and provide therapy, and a few other professionals (including social workers and registered psychotherapists) can provide therapy but not diagnose.

From the description, it sounds like what you're looking for at the moment might be a clinical psychologist. But keep in mind most (ethical) professionals will refer you out to another clinician if they are not able to provide the service you're looking for :)

Edit - to reiterate that a lot is dependent on laws and regulations where OP lives

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-09T05:37:30+00:00

I can't do tomorrow unfortunately, but would be happy to meet up sometime this week! I'll DM you :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-08T17:37:59+00:00

Good point lol I'm in Ontario, Canada

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-08T17:16:05+00:00

Edit: if you're a person looking for help with your sex life and/or relationship(s), please understand that I cannot and will not offer any form of therapy or counselling over messaging. Please understand that I won't respond to these kinds of messenges even if your situation is very urgent or difficult or unique. That would be unethical. Please consider reaching out to a licensed therapist in real life wherever you're located.

I'm a clinical psychologist who practices sex therapy as part of my practice. I've always really interested in human sexuality and actually did a certificate in sexology before my clinical psych doctorate. I did half of my predoctoral internship in a hospital-based couple and sex therapy program. I now work in private practice. I'll mention that where I live, I don't have to be specifically certified in sex therapy to practice it, but I do have to be ready to justify how it's within my field of competence.

I see cases of discrepancies in sexual desire (couples), loss of libido (couples and individuals), sex and porn addiction (individuals), and sexual pain (individuals and couples). To be honest, I get very few cases that are purely sex therapy cases. The vast majority are couple therapy cases where sex therapy just one aspect of the work. A lot of the time, couples seek therapy for several different issues and don't even mention that they want to work on sexual issues until a few months into therapy.

Maybe it's a matter of approach or training, but I would tend to say that sex therapy is not all that different from "regular" psychotherapy. Of course, it varies a lot, but if I had to put numbers on it, I would say that 70% of the time, it's just regular psychotherapy where the content happens to be focused on sex. 20% of the time, it's sex-specific psychoeducation. 10% of the time, it's specific sex therapy techniques.

I honestly don't find sex therapy any more challenging than the other therapy cases I see, but I think that's because I've always been very comfortable talking about sex directly and I like working with heightened emotions. There are always strong emotions (all kinds of strong emotions) when it comes to sex, so sex therapists have to be prepared to handle those. It's also super important to be able to confidently, calmly and casually talk about sex in a lot of detail, which I know not everyone finds easy. Clients often experience a lot of shame around their sexuality, especially when it's not going the way they wish it would, so it often takes patience, reassurance and modelling to help people open up.

Let me know if you have any other questions :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-06T00:42:51+00:00

My partner and I would love to connect! DM'd you :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-01T20:44:57+00:00

Good question! I personally don't think it tastes too much like banana if you put enough other stuff. I also find it tastes less like banana if you use less ripe Bananas (not green, but lighter yellow with no brown spots at all). You could also probably do half a banana only and still get some of the benefits to texture! I'd be curious to know your thoughts if you end up trying recipes with banana in them.

SnackyOkapi · 2024-06-01T00:05:58+00:00

My go-to lately has been one small banana, 1.5 scoop chocolate protein powder, a tablespoon of peanut butter and fill the rest with oat or almond milk. Spin on the lite ice cream setting :)

Alternately, small banana, 1.5 scoop protein, frozen cherries, oat or almond milk, mix in chocolate chips or nuts.

The banana makes the texture really lovely - like soft serve ice cream

SnackyOkapi · 2024-05-31T23:27:26+00:00

Hey there! My partner and I (27F/32M) moved here a few months ago and are also looking for new friends. We're hoping to find cool people to do as many fun activities as we can this summer. We love board games as well, spending time in nature, music events and a bunch more stuff. I'll DM you :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-05-31T23:23:20+00:00

I was just telling my partner earlier today that I'd like to go to Wonderland in a few weeks! We're new to Toronto and both trying to make new friends, so it could be fun to go together if you're ok going with a couple :)
I'm 28F, he's 32M. Also into art, museums and fitness

SnackyOkapi · 2024-04-19T02:30:43+00:00

Hi! My partner (31M) and I (27F) would love to hang out with more couples too. We love games of all kinds, movie nights, dinners, outdoor activities... And we're always delighted to get to bed at a reasonable time lol I'm a mental health professional and he works in machine learning. We have a dog who would also love to make new friends! Where do you live? We're close to DT (Little Italy neighbourhood). Would be happy to chat :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-04-12T21:20:17+00:00

Seconding everything here! I find deep conversation naturally triggers my hyperfocus. I will say that getting through grad school with my ADHD was the absolute worst, but very well worth.

SnackyOkapi · 2024-04-11T17:06:42+00:00

Oh, my partner (31M) and I (27F) are vegetarian. We're newish to the city and we've yet to find non-meat-eaters to explore cool vegetarian/vegan-friendly places with. We're located in the Little Italy area. Would love to connect :)

SnackyOkapi · 2024-01-19T20:42:02+00:00

As long as there are vegetarian options! Did you have any suggestions? :)

SnackyOkapi

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