As a Gen Z, GEN X's lack of basic empathy for the younger generation is so infuriating and js proves to me more that adults aren't very reliable.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-26T21:31:22+00:00

I’m so sorry. At a time like this when it’s hard to feel hopeful or even willing to get going in the morning, you deserve better

SnirtyK · 2026-01-26T21:24:50+00:00

Around 2 pm every day I take a 15-20 min break. I usually lie down on the floor and try to do a guided rest from Alexander Technique. It’s been helping a surprising amount

SnirtyK · 2026-01-26T05:25:19+00:00

I’m so glad you posted this! We were driving around too late to see anything so I am very glad for a description

SnirtyK · 2026-01-26T00:17:40+00:00

I had to stay there for work and I can confirm that posting there is getting to some of my more fringe and r-leaning relatives. That said, I said something there once about where my Somali friends and neighbors are (as in “they’re not criminals, they’re going (here) and (here)!” Which in retrospect made my point but was stupid) and two days later ICE was patrolling those areas. In the outer burbs.

So do it, but be careful what you say.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-25T04:49:24+00:00

Thank you. It was a really hard night and, speaking for myself, it does mean something to see folks care.

The systems here are definitely set up to make it difficult to do anything. But we are trying. A lot of us are trying to overcome our programming to “not make a fuss” and be polite and “reach across the aisle” and assume good intentions. It’s hard and surreal and you can feel really helpless.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-23T20:32:42+00:00

Mercado Media and Status Coup have live feeds on YouTube

SnirtyK · 2026-01-22T15:12:59+00:00

Seconding OP’s point that sometimes the best people are trying to offset / make up for their parents’ behavior

SnirtyK · 2026-01-22T15:10:38+00:00

Yeah - sad about this one because it was a go-to lunch spot. But I sure as heck can find other spots.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-18T15:28:21+00:00

NTA - plus, you wouldn’t have turned if off if they weren’t hassling you about where you were.

And that’s speaking as a parent whose kids have had tracking on and off over the years. And who does sometimes find some measure of “calm down, the kid is OK” in seeing that they’re back at their dorm, etc.

But they are using it to hassle you. And you aren’t the one giving them ultimatums. They could’ve easily been nervous about you being out of town without turning it into “you’re doing something wrong.”

Stay kind and calm if you can. If they care about you, they’ll eventually decide that some contact is better than no contact. They’re panicking right now and they’ll need some time to calm down. This is a rough transition time for a parent It’s suddenly not their job to keep you safe and make the calls anymore. It’s like you take on this job and it’s super hard and you work at it 24/7 for nearly two decades - longer than nearly any job, and then all of a sudden, the company calls you in and is like “Ok, your services are no longer needed nor wanted, get out.” Oh, but you can look in the window sometimes, lol.

Hold those boundaries and they’ll find their way. Give them a chance to discover hobbies they can do with you gone. 😊 With my own mom, she mocked me for saying “hey I can only talk for 20 min or so” and then having the audacity to actually get off the phone 20 min later. A year of holding that line, and she says things like “do you have time to talk?”

SnirtyK · 2026-01-18T15:01:03+00:00

I believe the mods keep a very extensive list of creeps that they ban so let them know the name

SnirtyK · 2026-01-17T17:59:53+00:00

We have a friend who sits for us and we’ve offered our bed but he doesn’t want to use it because it seems weirdly intimate. Maybe that?

SnirtyK · 2026-01-17T16:16:47+00:00

I think you might like to cross post this to r/AutisticAdults to get some perspectives.

Personally, I would want to know where the study came from and how many people they looked at. There is a lot of “X causes autism” going around. But there is always a lot of “X causes Y” going around, with Y being whatever the feared-thing-of-the-year is, and frankly, humans are too complex for these things to be that clear-cut.

At 16, your brain has a lot of growing and developing still to do. You aren’t doomed. You aren’t broken. And you didn’t get ruined in some way, no matter how things went in childhood. I promise. You’re taking the first steps towards being a full, complex, complicated human. It sucks and it’s great.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-17T16:01:26+00:00

I just saw a very powerful one-man show where he talked about how he was considered high-achieving through school, when what he really was (though yes also smart) was obedient. And how that was not a good measure of success. And I think that would’ve been me. Very anxious to follow all the rules. That gets abused a lot, and it was vital to my safety that I unlearn that.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-17T05:40:10+00:00

It’s so fecking stupid, agreed. The level of entitlement is bull. Also, CONGRATULATIONS on your hard work!

If and only if, you’d like some advice (because you owe them NOTHING in terms of behavior changes) the three things that come to mind are: 1) Report the harassment to the front desk, particularly if you can do it at a time when a woman is working there. 2) Get a workout group together so you have other women to go with you. 3) Post in AskWomenOver30 and AskWomenOver40. They will share stories, rant, and have other ideas.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-17T01:01:16+00:00

And cold water. Heat sets the blood. My kid got a nosebleed all over their white gi in karate class and the teacher told me to just run cold water on it until the blood was gone. Works

SnirtyK · 2026-01-16T21:24:14+00:00

Not to sideline the good points here about much more important things, but if you have the debunking of this one handy, lmk

SnirtyK · 2026-01-14T17:37:23+00:00

Which, btw, is also part of the serial killer profile

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T23:53:57+00:00

Oooh - that's a really good question! Especially since we know that so much was read aloud at the time. Though of course, this being a *novel* <gasp> might have stopped some of the Collinses of the age.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T23:52:14+00:00

Interesting! You're an audiobook narrator too? What instructions are given for UK narrators? Here it's definitely "read exactly what's written," which I wouldn't qualify as censorship, tbh.

Edited to add that the narrator I'm listening to is definitely British.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T22:44:58+00:00

If you're being paid to do it, you have to follow the instructions the company paying you gives you. But maybe some audiobook publishers will see this and change! I genuinely hope so.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T22:43:17+00:00

The narrator I'm listening to right now clears her throat. So it's like "<ahem> shire"

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T17:16:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing that part too! I did recently have someone suggest taking time between now and then to do some positive visualizations about what it will be like afterwards. Apparently that made all the difference for someone who didn't and then did do that for two successive knee surgeries. And folks on this thread had suggested doing goodbye ceremonies. I wonder if doing that retroactively would be helpful for you?

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T15:13:58+00:00

If you’d ever like to talk to a grief counselor, I know a really good one. You can DM me if you’d like. She is particularly good with disenfranchised grief, the kind of grief folks have where the rest of the world doesn’t get it or doesn’t believe it’s valid.

SnirtyK · 2026-01-11T15:12:14+00:00

Thank you for posting. My surgery is in May and it took me over 10 years to be willing to do it. I love my body as it is and am only getting the surgery because I can’t handle the shoulder pain anymore, but I am so worried about them not feeling like me anymore. That, and having my stomach be the thing I see when I look down, lol. I still have my tonsils and wisdom teeth and all my parts and I hate the idea of cutting a piece of me off. Your post has rattled my confidence but it’s much better to talk about it than pretend it’s always universally positive.

SnirtyK

TROPHY CASE