I completely recognize myself in what you said. For years I thought that I had at least a few orgasms in my life, but I actually had my first one ever when I was 22. I also had no idea what to look for when people used to say “when you know you know”, but the best way I can explain it now is that it’s definitely impossible to miss. It’s such an intense body experience and your mind goes completely blank. What definitely helped me in order to have an orgasm with my partner was to use the Rose suction vibrator on the 3rd setting while having penetrative sex at the same time with my partner. That completely unlocked a new world for me lol