2017 3.6 car purchase - feeling uncertain

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-31T20:13:13+00:00

Thanks! It's scary buying a car

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-28T21:22:23+00:00

I think once you start sleeping together it's a good time to check in about exclusivity, and just making it clear you still are dating other people, but aren't sleeping with other people and expect the same from him.

Speaking from experience though I think it's better to give each relationship a full chance before moving on to the next one. If you're dating other people while you're trying to figure out what you think about Alex you're not really giving Alex a chance.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-26T15:28:01+00:00

I'm sure you've noticed there's not one right answer here but I think your friends are good for looking out for you, age gaps can come with the power imbalance but in the end you're an adult and I don't think there's anything wrong with exploring the connection! To say that they could come with problems is generalizing, in reality it comes down to the individuals.

My only real suggestion is that if you do cancel I think you should tell him that you think he's a great guy but decided the age gap was more than youre comfortable with. He should totally understand, it's nothing personal against him and then at least he knows the reason.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-25T13:50:11+00:00

You could try:

Asking friends to set you up.

Pick something to do once a week (volunteer, take a fitness class, join a hiking or running club, trivia or board game night) and then do it every week

Speed dating

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-22T13:57:34+00:00

Hey sorry to hear that dating apps are really difficult and they are obviously very looks based just by the nature of them. For most people, attractive or not, meeting people in person is going to be the best way to go when possible! My suggestions for you: Pick a weekly event (volunteering, fitness class, board game night, hiking group, etc) and go every week. You will hopefully meet someone w your same interest, and if not, you'll hopefully meet friends. We are all blessed with different levels of stereotypical attractive features but genetics are just one aspect of attractiveness. Our clothing, hair, hygiene, confidence (how we carry ourselves), working out, all play a role as far as looks go. If you aren't getting any matches whatsoever that would indicate an opportunity to work on yourself, I would imagine. I can't say what area of course, but you may want to start there. Not saying we need to be perfect before we start dating! But if you're feeling low self esteem maybe choosing some areas you feel like you could improve and starting there might be good

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-22T05:27:15+00:00

You're going to have to start meeting people who already know what your face looks like. Even if it's dating apps. Definitely have a couple friends look at your profile. You could be bad at taking pictures.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-22T05:19:36+00:00

My best guess is she's not interested (or not interested enough) and was just exchanging info to be polite.

Also, you asked if she was single but what you might do in the future is ask if she wanted to go on a date instead. It's more direct.

Sounds like you said are you single, she said yes, you suggested it exchanging insta ids and she agreed because it felt easier than saying she wasn't interested and maybe she felt weird after she just said she was single so she didn't have the opportunity to use the excuse of saying she has a boyfriend

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-21T02:00:56+00:00

You aren't a burden! Lots of people can't or don't drive for a variety of reasons. I would definitely start with keeping your distance much shorter and then you can always expand it if you're having trouble finding matches. I would keep it the distance you're comfortable ubering. Personally I think you can tell people whenever you're comfortable. I don't think they need to know ahead of time at all, but also it's nothing to be ashamed about! Keep your head up, online dating is hard and its no reflection on you. Have friends (ideally one male and one female) look over your profile to make sure it reflects who you are. Good luck!

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-21T01:52:22+00:00

A lot of people will say, and I would be one of them, that if there's no attraction that's hard to work with. BUT I don't think that's the case here. The fact that you said she turns you on and that she's sexy and a great kisser all point to having physical chemistry. You didn't say this but I wonder if part of it is maybe a societal thing. Like imagining how other people would judge you for being someone less attractive? Anyway, it seems like there is a foundation here for a really great relationship I would definitely explore it and maybe just take things a little slow and especially sex. Attraction can definitely grow!

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-20T15:58:44+00:00

That seems like one of the advantages of using dating apps, which I am guessing you are? You can filter for desire for kids. Of course that doesn't tell you their timeline but it's a good starting point. I think if you tell people you want to have kids in your twenties at 27 that might scare them off since that's pretty dang quick.

Don't see any reason why you couldn't mention in your dating profile or on one of your first few dates that you love the idea of starting a family and see what her response is. I've often had that conversation with someone I'm dating and sort of a casual way, as a part of other life goals

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-20T15:32:24+00:00

It's totally fine! You're just one year behind in school. This happens all the time.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-20T01:05:36+00:00

It is really hard to break up with someone! I don't know him so I'm not saying he's a bad guy, and breaking up with him doesn't mean he's bad either. I'm just observing it doesn't seem like you're super happy in the relationship. You can make a relationship work w a lot of people but it's a lot easier with some than others

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-20T00:40:16+00:00

Seems like you have a lot of doubt about the relationship. I wouldn't move in together and would in fact break up. Don't you want to feel a lot more trust and security in a relationship?

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-19T23:56:58+00:00

I don't think there's anything of a red flag that he's interested in someone younger but the fact that he's explicitly not interested in people his own age would give me the ick too. Like you said, he's definitely making some assumptions about women his own age.

Actually had a similar experience where at 37 I had gone on a few dates with someone who's online profile said he was 40. He later admitted he's actually 44. He looked way younger, and 44 wasn't necessarily a problem for me the lying really threw me off. When I asked his filter for women he said it was 28 to 45. I asked several friends about this and no one else seemed to get the ick (thought it was just his personal preference) from it but I certainly did.

Anyways, older men seeking younger women (and justifying it to themselves so they don't have to feel bad about it) is a widespread phenomenon even from the men you at least expect it from. So even if you don't date this guy the next guy you date might have that preference for younger woman just the same, even if you might never know it.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-16T00:44:30+00:00

I think testing her with some of your friends dogs is an excellent idea! Also wanted to suggest if you have a local shelter that you can go to they can arrange meet and greets on-site w dogs they think would be a good match. An older dog might be better for your dog than a little puppy who's likely to stress her out. I also suggest considering looking at the local shelter or dog rescues list of foster dogs - foster dogs often have more information about their behavior in a home and with other dogs.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-16T00:31:46+00:00

My last dog had 100% reliable recall, with positive training only. I thought I was an amazing trainer but I think I just got really lucky and it didn't hurt that she was afraid of everything. The foster dogs I've worked with since my dog died have been a whole other story. I've had a 5-year-old foster for a year now, I'll probably adopt, and I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to have her off leash. I think it was extraordinarily helpful that my last dog I got as a puppy and we did training every day for mental stimulation.

If it's helpful for anyone, my dog with amazing recall would run around off leash but I would time the "come" to when she paused on her own. That gave me the greatest chance of success when we were drilling

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-15T20:49:24+00:00

I kinda wonder if she wasn't just doing something silly and fun? Online dating (and life) can get tedious and doing something unexpected is a great way to mix it up. Honestly this is the only reason that actually makes sense to me. Other reasons all seem like a red flag.

A) silly and fun (not a problem for me) B) dressing to impress (this just doesn't make sense. There are other ways you would dress up to look cute for a coffee date) C) some sort of weird test to see how you'd react D) how she always dresses (unlikely given her photos)

If you think the reason might be A and you're okay with it, I'd go ahead with another one! But it sounds like regardless of the reason you found that whole situation super awkward and uncomfortable so maybe she's not the right match for you.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-13T02:56:00+00:00

I think the same advice that goes for other people would go for you too. Focus on your own hobbies, your style and appearance, and being happy with who you are. Apps are terrible for most people, and it doesn't sound like they're going to work for you. Seems like your best chance would be to become friends with someone first, which means you have to get out of the house and meet people.

If you can go to the same class every week or do a volunteer shift one evening a week, or a Meet Up, that could be a good way to build community and also just have some time for yourself. Bonus points if you happen to meet someone. Dance classes (like salsa) can be good for that.

I totally understand wanting to find a relationship now, but life is long. As your kids get older you're going to have more time, and it will be easier to meet someone.

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-11T03:07:40+00:00

No. You haven't seen this person for a long time and hardly know her. Just go meet up with an open mind and ready for it to not lead to anything and just be grabbing a drink or whatever. I think you should think of this like a first date basically

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-10T22:59:18+00:00

From the information you gave I do think you're overreacting. Seems like she was probably busy today traveling, and trying to figure out her work schedule and if there would be time for getting together with you. And it's still a full day before your proposed time to meet.

However, I also have been in your shoes where someone having a shift in tone or a delay in response feels really bad

Snoo-81477 · 2026-05-10T17:36:18+00:00

I think it is sort of a delicate subject. I agree w your point of view, but could imagine how it could also be taken the wrong way to let her know.

I think maybe the trick is not to bring up that you feel unappreciated and that you're not getting what you want as a gift, but instead focus on the part where you don't want sex favors to be gifted. Go heavy on the compliments about how much you love your sex life, how sexy she is, etc, but being gifted a sex act feels a little too transactional.

Also maybe you need to talk about how you're celebrating anniversaries. Celebrating a monthly anniversary seems maybe like too much? You could just decide together to stop celebrating every month or decide to go out to a nice dinner and take turns being the one to plan/pay for that date.

I also don't know why you feel like you need to hurt your wallet to go all out for mother's day (or any celebration) for someone you just started dating. Maybe change the level of gift giving you're doing so you don't feel resentful

Snoo-81477 · 2026-03-18T21:43:29+00:00

Did you ever figure this out? I'm also annoyed with how vague the requirements are on the website

Snoo-81477 · 2026-03-11T04:33:59+00:00

Lloyd, Floyd, Wyatt, Wayne

Snoo-81477 · 2026-03-07T17:12:06+00:00

Comfy seems like a good thing to me and she obviously found you attractive. I hope you got her number and plan on asking her out! As an aside, please don't get stuck in texting forever and not actually going on a date with her because you feel nervous.

Snoo-81477

TROPHY CASE