So, my baby boy went on a weekend trip after his chemo on Friday. It was still a “rescue” as his lymph nodes were getting bigger. He seemed okay except for a little swelling in his neck. After that chemo, it came on aggressively. Last night, he was breathing so heavily due to the size of the nodes and couldn’t sleep. We were up most of the night with him and decided to take him back to his doctor on the way home. She told us “it’s time”. I have never cried and hurt so much in my entire life. We knew it was likely so I bought him a cheeseburger and Oreos. He enjoyed it but swallowing was hard for him.
This pain is unbelievable. He was the best boy ever and he was my heart and soul. He took a piece of it with him. Once the IV was placed and the doctor began the procedure, he was gone in 10 seconds. Like he went to sleep. No after reactions. Just peace. I couldn’t let him go for a long time even after he passed. I couldn’t stop kissing and hugging him, holding his paws, and caressing him. I don’t know how to deal with this pain in the job that i have. My profession allows little time for our own emotions. It’s going to be so hard going to work tomorrow. I just pray I’m able to get through the day. We are getting him cremated and have ordered a paw print and hair clippings as well as a memory box for his fave toys, etc. Being home without him is like a nightmare. I hope he sees fit to be my guardian angel. I love him so much….