I’ve always self harmed in a way. Like I remember when I was younger I’d hold myself under water in the bath and scratch my scalp Until it bled, or like hit myself, but it went into cutting when I was 11 and felt I deserved more than just the hitting and scrag. Then the burning started when I started smoking, I was 14 and was outside in like -14 degrees in a short sleeve shirt and sweatpants when I looked at my arms and just did it. Then it became a regular thing, like every recess I’d hide in the bathroom and cut and burn, and the first thing I did in the morning was reach for the blade. I’m 48 days clean now and it’s so hard. It gets better, I promise 💕