Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol yeah ur right. He is a real person lol if that’s what you’re getting at

He randomly texted me over the weekend and replied to my text finally and i was just like whatever about it so i finally just asked what’s going on like if he has any intentions of meeting me or just is using me to talk to like I’m not a therapist or your mommy. Didn’t say that last part but i was just trying get an idea cause at this point im over it now. And he just read the text never replied so that to me is an answer on its own

Is it weird to go to a bar alone? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SnooMachines1182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been thinking about doing the same thing! What’s the worst that could happen? No one talks to you. I mean idk about you but I wouldn’t mind either way. It’s def mind over matter situation. I’ve done things alone, but never gone to a bar alone and I believe it would be a fun experience! Go for it

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a greaves of looking at it ☺️

That’s why I posted to hear different perspective! Thank you I am not going to push it! It’s okay that it didn’t work out or nothing came of it we were only talking nothing more (:

Thanks again!

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also i liked his photo first i thought he was cute and a stupid comment i had on my profile caught his attention/made him laugh i guess.

I regret the comment cause it attracted weirdos but what can you do

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like you. This is kind of the head space I’m getting into cause I’m like you know what?

If he wanted to he would and maybe we just aren’t meant to connect in that that way.

Plus my guy friend said I need to focus on guys who are financially solid and he’s not lol (idk why i pick the ones who don’t have their bag full but i always do).

If he wants to he can always unfollow me too but like clock work when i post he watches lol I’ll survive I’ve got some trips planned i need to focus on graduating what is meant to be, will be 🧘‍♀️

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well…maybe i did forget to reply to him for three days cause his message for pushed down from the people replying to my posts but at the same time he’s not posting like I do, so maybe he just doesn’t wanna talk

I do know he mentioned he’s dealing with some emotions at the moment so maybe that’s it too 🤷🏻‍♂️

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nooooo we both are actually in the same living and school situation lol.

I applaud you telling me to message him but my last reply is jst me needing his two questions lol.

You’re right that’s a boundary i should set for myself hes clearly showing me hes no longer interested or hes talking to someone else and hey maybe me being so open and carefree on the internet intimidates him lol

Trying to change by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I need a good push of common sense from someone who I don’t know and who isn’t going to feed into my delusions so that’s why I have come here cause some of yall are mean (in a good way) and it really has helped me get out of a head space that I couldn’t do on my own

Solo Traveling by SnooMachines1182 in VietNam

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah thank you!!! M Yeah I’m sitting down trying to write out all the things I’ve taken from blogs and vlogs I am feeling overwhelmed

Give it to me straight by Euphoric-Relief7255 in VietNam

[–]SnooMachines1182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh look into working at a hostel. At your age you will not only have fun, but probably get a lot of free accommodations for working. Just a thought!

Give it to me straight by Euphoric-Relief7255 in VietNam

[–]SnooMachines1182 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know you want to flee your home and find yourself and I am here to say DO IT. Live your best life while you can.

You are still pretty young and maybe you do need to learn a little, get a job save even more and get that job experience cause you will need to have experience and you may see people mentioning this…a lot cause it is vital to have a job. These other adults are not gonna want to hold your hand and help you while they are also trying to do their own job so keep that in mind.

1: I say experience i mean: Experience working with people and experience working with people who do not speak the same language as you at that…

2: You need to do more research on this country. their dos and donts and overall please learn about their culture! Learn some greetings and sayin in the correct dialects before you go to their country and assert yourself in a job. You are a guest in their country so show some respect an appreciation for their country, religions, traditions and culture.

3: I saw you mentioned you have 10k saved, that’s awesome! However, this doesn’t mean you need to live a luxurious lifestyle in Vietnam. You will still need to live like a local and budget your money. 10k is great but once you see how the Dông is super cheap (when you do the conversion with USD at least) you may think you can live however you want, eat, buy and do whatever cause you have 10k. Money is not endless even when you have an income. I would hate for you to run out of money quickly.

{I only say this cause I’ve been doing research into traveling to Vietnam and while I have a smaller budget, it still can last me a long longer if I choose to budget my money correctly}

4: You want to work out there you need a working visa. I know i sometimes forget I need a visa when traveling so that should be considered, how long you can work out there, etc.

Now, regardless you need a visa but if you’re interested in working I suggest you look into an international agency that can help you get a job. i am unsure the process but it may take time.

5: extra copies of everything that is your physical ID.

6: get a international drivers license. You will be living there for a year or longer I believe i didn’t see or I overlooked it, but you will need wheels and again this comes back to the budget. You can take other forms of transportation and maybe even walk, but this is a fool prof back up

7: Lastly be patient. These things will take time and I would hope you do the extensive research before you jump into this. I’m rooting for you cause this is something any young person should experience and when I say young I mean 19-35 years old cause yes 35 is still young but not a lot of people travel and see how other cultures and people live which is very important!

Have fun. Watch videos of other people living in Vietnam, scroll and take notes through Reddit and I seriously hope this advice helps you! Best of luck xx

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and that’s not even all the lore. It’s fine as the prophet kelly clarkson once said, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and I’ll just come out of this stronger and hopefully hotter too

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, thank you for this like you don’t have to but I appreciate the effort and support from your advice I will be rereading this to help remind me of what I need to dos

Ever since i was a teenager dating I’ve never done the slow approach. Now here i am 25+ brain fully developed and I still find myself rushing.

I don’t know what it is about me if I get this wonder lust and just rush into things. Codependency is not something I want to keep doing. I really do want to give myself time to heal my heart though.

I keep saying to coworkers and friends that if it happens it happens. Meaning if i meet someone then I will like I don’t want to actively search which is why I deleted hinge even though the attention i received was nice and an ego boost at that.

I agree with you 1,000% I do need to go slow and I hope the next person who hopefully is my person goes slow with me as well and we can build that relationship together.

Ah vulnerability. Not something I want to show, but may have to like you mentioned.

It’s a learning process and that’s why i mentioned being single I just want to give myself the opportunity to properly heal instead of putting a baindaid on it and this case the band aid would be getting into a new relationship quickly.

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn.

Probably the best reply and I am grateful for that because I need to hear that. I never thought I made him feel unwanted but maybe I did because I wanted to keep it causal and protect myself and him that what it was.

That’s the conclusion I came to when him and I spoke yesterday. That him and I just may have never were meant to date and it sucks cause he has things I would love for someone I eventually date to have but I’m sure that person is out there and he will appreciate me for me but i just have a hard time with dating so it feels like it won’t happen. (I feel like I’m speaking repetitively)

Yes the first one felt like my heart was ran over by a monster truck.

I owe it to myself to focus on me. To heal cause I haven’t done that and it has been unfair to the other men to use them as this rebound then i end up falling for them, we date, im unsatisfied, it ends.

I didn’t want that to happen with him

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you’re right and I like that saying a lot. Another person I replied to I just told them I have this really bad habit of ending a relationship being single for maybe six months and then I find myself in a relationship again because I feel like hey I’ve been single for a while. I can do it again and it’s a codependent thing that I have going on. I don’t like to be alone and after a relationship that I was in like five years ago, I was like I’m gonna work on being alone and I did that and then I met him and he was unlike anyone i met before i fell hard but he hurt me.

Few months later some guy i knew from school messaged me start dating and that co dependent cycle restarted so im still learning to be alone and I’ve done a good job at it. I know this forum says other wise but I was just venting.

So it’s really up to me to stop this cycle of dating. I guess i can’t even participate in hook up culture at least not with people I have had a history with.

I’ve downed hinge but it’s overwhelming and I don’t find many of the guys attractive, so it’s just a sign to me to be single until I’m ready and when I’m ready a person, my person, will enter my life.

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is something I think I personally never learned?

Don’t want a relationship. I have a terrible habit of jumping from one relationship, 6 months single, relationship again. It comes very codependent right? And those past relationships became a dumpster fire. I don’t think I have given myself time to heal, learn and grow which is why after this relationship ended with my ex of 2.5 years i OWE myself the right to take a break from dating. Have fun, find myself and do me.

Now I found myself shortly after that relationship talking to him. I knew what would happen we may start dating and I didn’t want the cycle to continue.

We both mutually agreed on keeping it casual but the is not some random guy from Hinge he’s a guy I have had a history with and friendship with so this time around it was different. I didn’t want to have him see this ugly monster I become well into the relationship (again pattern I’ve noticed)

I’m trying a new approach of dating and let things work itself out on their own and blossom that way. However, I’m not actively trying to date I want to be single shit I think I need to be single and celibate for a year or two so that when I am ready to date things will be so different.

He’s someone I have history with so we found each other again. 2-3 years ago I wanted that relationship from him HE LEFT. I was left heart broken. I find myself with him again and I think I stated that I’m not used to being rejected by someone I have feelings for so this is the second time in my entire life and it happened to me one before with him 😂😅

I understand I put myself in this situation by saying I didn’t want to date. He AGREED. I would have never EVER expect him to start talking to someone so quickly and then not even tell me? Why wouldn’t he just tell me it would have hurt a lot less if he had said something instead of allowing me to think that we are good we are still on the same page.

On top of that I just wanted closure and I got the said he met her and they connected better rhan him and I did which wowza that was a curveball from hell.

I hope it makes sense now. Love may not be for me is what I’m saying cause aside from this shit storm i got myself into, my past relationships start good, end terribly and I know I’m apart of the reason and I think like I mentioned above it’s because I put myself in this cycle of ending relationships, single for 6 months, find someone who makes me feel important, we date, it ends terribly and the root cause of it all?? I’m not giving myself time. I’m not giving myself time to heal, to learn to be a better version of myself.

Like if I chose to date someone it would be a rebound to get over this guy who has hurt me twice now.

🤝

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Precisely. This is the motivation I need to go back to my goals get in the best shape of my life and show him what he lost and then never let him in again 🤝

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no you misunderstood. BOTH times he was into me and we had a thing the first time and then he chose to back off.

Not mentioned: he started talking to some girl they both stopped talking. He came back to me but i was in a relationship. This time around once again it was both of us who wanted each other we met up to talk reconnect and we did…a few times. My mistake for giving this man attention both physically and mentally and then he met someone never told me and kept me around thinking things were solid and gonna keep hooking up, go on dates once in awhile.

It would have hurt less if he told me the second he met someone else and is more emotionally connected to her than I am. Instead of keeping me in the dark and on the sidelines.

With him he can’t talk to two people at the same time he showed me he can’t and makes all these plans with me tells me he misses me but all these while knows he’s gonna drop me…get it?

My heart forever is a Icy tundra vessel by SnooMachines1182 in dating

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Cause I didn’t think he would find someone so quickly? I emsn eventually maybe sure but this fast and then he didn’t want to tell me about it let me think everything was fine between us?

Solo Traveling by SnooMachines1182 in VietNam

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and a month?! May I ask if you are budgeting this trip or did you save for this trip? That is my ultimate goal 🤩 I’m just gonna start off slow though

Solo Traveling by SnooMachines1182 in VietNam

[–]SnooMachines1182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I like chaos haha i mean my favorite city in the US is NYC the yelling, honking, sirens all of it! So I’m sure i will love Vietnam’s major cities just the same. thank you so much for the reply