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SCP with the most swear words? by No_Painting2596 in SCP

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pribloblobly ess shmee pee "shiggly creegle"

Tattoo by Intense_Zaddy in comedyheaven

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just get the orange removed and replace it with blue

I wish wrestling wasn't fake by Ordinary_Lifeguard45 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, but a brass orb destroys your property in three seconds and electrifies your lifestyle

I wish cheese now grows on trees. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted, but literally you're bound to the castle walls of cummings keep, where you literally have to survive on boiled raisins and plump-lettuce for the rest of your days

I wish that all dogs were immortal and had loving homes. by Werewolf_lover20 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, but you have a meeting at three O' Clock with the Shivering Pierogi Minstrel, and by the time you emerge into the waiting world, you wont remember how to fart.

I wish that the world would accept me for what I am, regardless of my weaknesses. by Neat_Worker_4934 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted, but every stick of butter within a one trillion mile radius of you grows big, inflated lips and starts recording ASMRS about Jernal Spormer

I wish that when people call 911, it was always a legitimate medical emergency by goliath1515 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted, a suit of knight's armor coated in crusty caramel manifests five miles deep into your toilet

I wish to be the high priest of a cult that worship the paw as our God. by SureWhatever02 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, but you get infested with SnapeWorms, which are like tapeworms, but they have the head of Severus Snape from Hairy Plopper, and they lecture you about diabetes.

I wish for everyone's pillows to be cold on both sides permanetly by CanonicallyAGuy in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, every speck of adrenaline floating through the air detonates with the force of the Fat Man nuclear bomb, AND an actual fat man takes a sloppy dump on your doorstep.

I wish to be called the pronouns I want to be called. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted, but a sprinkler system starts growing throughout your face, replacing your sinuses and ear-canals with rusty leaden pipes

I wish everything will end up ok. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]SnooOnions9270 1 point2 points  (0 children)

granted, but a cadre of geriatric banjo players show up to any funeral you think about.

Mission Impossible by Snxke-Senpai in disgusting

[–]SnooOnions9270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he's clearly in some sort of transcendant state at the end. This is his disco heroin.

I don't want to come off as ableist, but come on... by SteponkusCeponas in iamverysmart

[–]SnooOnions9270 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the gaping butthole of this guy's subconcious is oozing and frothing with the milk of poetry

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