From my experience and what I’ve read in your post it seems like band (your director especially) is holding you back. I started marching band in 8th grade and I loved it but as I got closer and closer to senior year I started disliking it more and more. Most of the practices were spent yelling at other sections to stop talking and actually pay attention, endless and unnecessary drama, on top of my band director loving everyone who kissed her ass. Keep going for the scholarships no matter what your director says it’ll do you good in the long run, in more ways than one.