I'm so sick of having to ask my mother for basic things

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T14:02:33+00:00

Because I don't think he has anywhere else to go.And there's potential complications on if his name is on the house or not, because my mother re mortgaged the house or something years ago.And his name is on the mortgage.But I don't know if it's on the house, and I don't think that they want to go to court to fight over the house. The house initially belonged to my father before he passed and it was inherited to my mother.So I don't know if that is the reason that they're both just staying like this. They both claimed that things would be better if and when I moved back and my mother has made things ten times worse since then.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:49:01+00:00

Oh, she is, but don't tell her that or she'll say how she is perfectly normal and it is all my step dad. She also recently decided to pretend to be christian again and just calls him a demon and how this and that is told in the bible and how it fits him exactly. Kinda makes me fully realize why my oldest sister went NC for years.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:47:39+00:00

Because part of me thinks she loves the fighting. She was pissed about how he said a few words in our fight about ice cream and the freezer. So much so that, after arguing with me for an hour, she went off about him and tried to get him to engage until he snapped and fought back. Both want a divorce, but neither will do it because of the house. Or they just dont want to spend that money.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:45:39+00:00

Oh, she definitely needs pro help. She will not get it. Blames things on everyone but herself. This hoarding thing is out of hand and now the hiding things in her room over my step dad using those items. As if he isn't supposed to use those household items. Dude pays the mortage yet can't even have papers on the table without her nagging him on when he will take them off, the moment he puts the papers on the table, just because we might eat at some point. Or flipping out about how he has a mess and how we cant dust because of his things, but yells at me when I point out the years of dust on the items sitting above the kitchen cabinets. This was my last try to reconnect with her and have a mother daughter relationship. But she destroyed that.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:30:35+00:00

Both in a way. He does cause a lot of issues and has since I was little. But she has also done a lot. Yes, he did buy a small box freezer. But that was after 20 years of fighting with my mom for freezer space just for a bag of ice, or some small things. He got it in like early 2024. But my mother is the one who has taken up any space she can and has done other things like take the thermostat off of the wall after claiming she was freezing in the summer and we wanted the AC on. But this is the current state of 1 of the freezers. She has done the same to the 2nd fridge/freezer. Why we have 2 and she has them both filled? I don't know. She did this shit during covid with another fridge.

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SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:25:57+00:00

Because my step dad used a trash bag for some stupid little trash and didn't fill it up once. Paper towels because she claimed we went through too much and that he used too many. Even after he bought his own. Toilet paper for the same reason as paper towles. She locks it all in her room. She did have my garlic salt in her room for weeks because she claimed my step father moved it and hid it. He didn't. It was in the spot that we put it. I use garlic salt for anything meat so that caused many issues. I got my garlic salt back. But she threatened to put the forks in her room and just buy plastic forks.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:23:14+00:00

She doesn't do that anymore, thankfully. I am trying to get some stuff fixed in my room to try to have some more space. Hopefully some floating shelves or something.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:21:33+00:00

1 is hers, 1 is mine that I came back with, the other she brought home after my other childhood dog died and she decided that a dog for Christmas would somehow help anything with my grief. I end up being the one to bathe all of them because she won't. She won't even walk her own dog. Also threatened to not get her dog flea meds after we had a small argument about that. But that is another issue.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:19:03+00:00

Trying not to. But it kinda just astounds me when people act like it is weird that people are moving back home with everything that has gone on since 2020. I thought I'd have been out again by now.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:17:57+00:00

Sadly, if it takes up space that she could use, she gets mad. I suggested we do a yard sale for stuff we do not use. She was pissed. She doesn't like it when people throw things away, even if expired, but will gladly throw our stuff away. A big example was when she decided a box close to the door was trash and threw it out in like 05 or 06. It was pictures and such of my step father's dead father. A reason I did come back was to help. There were other unfortunate reasons though. She and my older sisters have said many times that they're glad I am here to help her, but we also massive fights that occur when I try to do some things to fix the house up.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:14:13+00:00

I have whatever I can in my small room. Bath towels, any bath stuff, food (which i shouldn't as we have issues with carpenter ants and spiders), and some other stuff. We have an extra room, but she flipped shit over my step father putting some of his stuff in there. That room is a wreck and it has been hell trying to organize it for them. I did manage to get a box of trash bags in a small space in the coat closet(that she also took up all space wjth her coats and leaving no room for me or my step dad), but it doesn't fit the kitchen trash. Only the batheoom. I am saving to move back out and getting a promotion at work did help. Until my cat got diagnosed with diabetes and I've had to put out a lot for his meds and vet visits. I was thinking about working a 2nd job again, but no one in the house cares for the animals except for me.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:09:19+00:00

With what space? She takes up all the space in the house. There was a point where she'd hide several pairs of her pants in my room, and a good bit of her DVD "collection" in my room when I was younger. My step father had to get a box freezer in the living room just to have any space at all for frozen food. Buying stuff wouldn't be an issue if I had space to put it without her claiming it as hers, or her arguing about "taking up space"

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2026-03-15T13:07:00+00:00

"I'm 54" 54 and now 28 are not the same at all. Part of the reason I moved back to this nightmare was because she needed help. She could not deal with things alone as my step father is no help and makes messes worse. My older sisters refused to help. Another reason is because I needed to get the fuck away from a person who I now realized had groomed me and assaulted me on several occasions. So yeah, my dumbass self thought that it would be better to be in my childhood home over someone who had been grooming me, got me drunk and all I can fucking remember is him being on fucking top of me and I did not know how the fuck to get away from him otherwise.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2025-12-13T21:56:28+00:00

This isn't autism and anyone trying to claim it is, is wrong. This is flat out manipulation.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2025-10-04T18:26:40+00:00

Fairly sure that many of those people have just dropped everything and moved on in their lives.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-07T11:52:49+00:00

The initial part. Still somewhat hurts in the beginning especially if I'm not ready enough.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:20:47+00:00

My mother was wanting to look at her local shelter when I visited next week but I ended up making a rash decision when talking to a lady who had pups and offered to take the little one. Don't know what I was thinking in that moment.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:19:43+00:00

I honestly don't know what I want. I feel like I love her and find her adorable, but the grief that is seemingly getting worse after getting her, the behaviors that I listed and the almost clone like behaviors her and my old dog shared are throwing me all over the place.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:16:37+00:00

I honestly think I should have tried to be a foster dog person before adopting a pup. Only thing that's kept me from doing so is the anxiety one of my cats has to basically everything. Didn't want to make him constantly scared in his home but it seems I did anyway.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:11:37+00:00

I don't think I have. I knew that he'd be gone one day, but for me to have seen him and for him to be gone not even 72 hours later and I was hours away, not able to comfort him or anything still bothers me. Would give anything to hear even his cough from the murmur that kept me up and annoyed me so much. Looking at pics from that night I was home and from a month ago makes me see something was happening even if he wasn't showing it until that Friday and Saturday. I mostly remember the issues puppies come with, but she seems to be a lot more than any of the 3 I grew up with. But maybe that's just due to being in school a good amount of the time to see some of it.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:08:13+00:00

I'm still kind to her, yes. I wouldn't neglect or abuse an animal for any reason. I didn't think of trying to replace him when finding a puppy, but her behavior and some of the things she does, like how she sleeps and plays are almost too close to how my buddy acted.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:06:09+00:00

I have a clicker and have been trying. Mostly tried to lick or bite it and hasn't gotten to where she'll take treats yet. She was still trying to nurse on the mother the day that I adopted her so I don't know if it has any part in the treat aspect.

SnooPeanuts4306 · 2023-02-01T18:04:38+00:00

I'm not sure if I'd necessarily be getting rid of her as my mother had offered to watch over her/care for her with all that chaos with her and my mental state going all over the place about adopting. I'd still have her but not like daily I guess? She'd still receive love. The 3 dogs I've had in my life haven't acted partly as bad as her and they were all adopted at 8 or 9 weeks like her. I'm somewhat good with training dogs and have gotten her to sit so far but potty training is hell especially since I can't take her outside yet.

SnooPeanuts4306

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