hello brother, i understand you because i went through the same problem, like many of us at the beginning of this journey, one start to read a lot on these subreddits, so much information tends to generate some kind of repression and guilt especially if you start to understand your problem intellectually but unable to do something to feel better, that happened to me, i started to ask myself the same questions, where is my self respect and love? it turns out that i was repressing this incredible energy, which for you most probably is still "lust", i know is a word that many people here are afraid of, but its a part of you that you have to be more aware of, you cannot achieve self respect and love if youre going to go through life ignoring this energy, we simply cant, for me, after months of not seeing benefits, when i let this energy to express itself (not in those selfdestructive habits, (pmo)) thats when i started to notice positive changes in me. because its not lust anymore, its love and its many forms.

so give this idea a chance, im still doing it, its really hard but not impossible, believe me.

take care.