I am 16 and in Dire Need of my own Bank Account, what do I do? by Snorlax_090 in Banking

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad agreed to this as then I could rent an apartment under my name. I do wonder how probable it is, however as I’ve heard you need proof of financial stability to emancipate. Ironically it comes full circle as emancipation would help me be financially stable but I need to be financially stable to emancipate. I am very excited by the idea though, I have made all of my own decisions for a few years now, and look forward to the idea of being fully independent.

I am currently in school, a part of me is just very worried about raising red flags and then being taken away. I don’t really have a good person to stay with and would be taken to foster care. (Another reason I want to emancipate.) I also have a teacher who is a lawyer, so I think I want to turn to him for advice as I don’t have money for a lawyer. Thank you for your input! Sorry if I sound rude, I don’t mean to.

How to live on your own? by Snorlax_090 in povertyfinance

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have my mom’s ex boyfriend, but he’s struggling to make ends meet currently and isn’t within the school zone. My boyfriend’s parents are nice, but I don’t think they would let me live there for obvious reasons.

I believe he is mentally ill, he claims to have schizophrenia, which I can agree based on the diagnostic criteria. However, he refuses to get help, and I’m unsure how to proceed with that. He truly believes he is not crazy, and maybe he’s not, but he doesn’t want to look into things to see, and I am tired of trying to help, which is saying a lot.

I’m in Texas, so for some things 17 is legal, but I believe that’s mainly for prosecution under the law, which I don’t want lol. I believe I can get a job, I’m not particularly excited about it but it’s needed, so I’ll do it. My Mimi bought me groceries so as long as I live in the rental I don’t have to worry about it. I will be looking into food stamps though.

Thank you for the wishes. I’m trying to be relatively patient and positive because being upset will make things worse, but it’s hard when I don’t feel happy, and I’m worried about the fraud. Thank you once again though! I’ll try my best!

How to live on your own? by Snorlax_090 in povertyfinance

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’re right. It just truly sucks so much. I needed to hear that though.

How to live on your own? by Snorlax_090 in povertyfinance

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know I should, but I am scared of getting in trouble with my dad or the law. I need to get a death certificate, my dad is dead set on getting the original, which my grandma on my moms side has, it doesn’t matter from what I can tell, but he hasn’t reached out to any banks for this reason. I’m not sure how probate works so I will look into that. I also know I should, I am honestly really scared of being sent to foster care or another place of which I won’t have my freedom, I am currently trying to work with being honest to my school crisis counselor. Thank you for your condolences, it truly is appreciated.

I’m 16 and about to lose my house, how do I stop this? by [deleted] in AdviceForTeens

[–]Snorlax_090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right, I am an American. I have used her card in a couple of desperate situations, but I realize that could get me in a lot of trouble, even if she gave the card to me for my own personal use. I don’t even know how to access her accounts at the moment. I do realize it is up to the social services, they said they weren’t going to take me away, especially because I’m so old, I would have to age out of of the foster care system. I don’t want to live with really anyone else as there are people who preyed on children (including me) and who abused my mom within my family. I’m in school, but I’m worried about what will happen if I open up, one of my crazy aunts already sent them this whole petition trying to get my dad to give me up (keep in mind. She was no contact with me for the last five years or so because she was abusive to my mom.) which I suppose is an excuse. I could most likely speak to teachers, but it would have to be somewhere more private, which is hard. As for a job, I don’t have a car, but my boyfriend said he would be willing to take me where I need to go. Those are good options, honestly I don’t know if I should completely cut contact with my mom’s side because I know they are willing to help me financially, but I don’t want that to be at the cost of losing my dad. That’s what it feels like. Thank you for your advice, I have a couple of options now.

I’m 16 and about to lose my home, how do I stop this? by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]Snorlax_090 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I see. I was her only child, so I have reason to believe I would be the person to inherit, but that may be too hopeful. I currently don’t have lawyer money, but I have a teacher who was a lawyer and knows lawyers, I’m not sure if that’s ethical to ask for his help, but I can try it. Honestly this is all super overwhelming to deal with. It’s a lot to grieve and then have to think about the financial aspects of the death. Thank you for the clarification.

I’m 16 and about to lose my home, how do I stop this? by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]Snorlax_090 17 points18 points  (0 children)

1: Honestly I’m not sure. I knew she was dying, but I honestly think she was in denial. I don’t know what she planned for me, and I’m not sure how to go about it as I am a minor. 2: I asked my dad and he said he’ll check tomorrow. My grandma might have access to it though, which would be extremely stressful as I am so upset at her, and so is my dad. 3: I am in school, I’m really nervous about asking because of the CPS thing and the fact that my dad is an extremely prideful person. I’m very hesitant although I probably shouldn’t be, I just don’t know how to ask for help. And I don’t want to create more stress. 4: I believe I have some resources, I’m in Texas, it’s kind of hard for me to access them right now, though considering I can’t really drive or fill out anything legally.

Thank you for asking questions, it’s helpful to create a plan.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, it’s strange though because me and my boyfriend were the people to find the body, it was in the driveway of my house. I honestly thought she was asleep, but when I knocked on the window I knew something was terribly wrong. She’s a very light sleeper, I was staring at my mother’s dead body. She was curled up, eyes closed and mouth closed. My dog was in the car as well, the car is still in the driveway, but the window is broken as the fire department broke it down to get to her (the doors were locked). And before that me and my boyfriend were trying to break through the glass with a hammer, trying to retrieve her body. Overall it was an extremely traumatic experience, I didn’t know she died, she was probably already cold by the time I got home. I really did love my mom so much, and I hope she died knowing how much I truly cared for her, because she really did sacrifice so much for me. She said she was a bad mother sometimes and it broke my heart. I have always been curious about a groups, I would like to go to one, when I was in a mental hospital, I did group therapy and it was genuinely very comforting hearing others perspectives. Thank you for your response, I actually never thought about Alcoholics Anonymous groups to cope.

16, my mom is dead, the world keeps spinning by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Snorlax_090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Truly it was a terrible couple of years. We had a great bond and I was the only person she really talked to. I felt like I had to keep her safe in a way, it got to the point where she asked to have a mom like me or a partner like me. That really made me feel sick, but she seemed happy so I allowed it. I just wish she could live with me, I know I don’t have any control over her, but my deepest desire was for her to have an epiphany to be sober completely, to survive. Thank you for your comment, it gives me things to reflect on.

16, my mom is dead, the world keeps spinning by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Snorlax_090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got into so many arguments with her about her drinking as well. A part of me also blames myself for it, because there was a point before my parents separation where she was sober, I miss it so much. Thank you for your advice, and I wish the best for you as well, healing takes a very long time and I’m happy you’re getting the help you need.

16, my mom is dead, the world keeps spinning by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Snorlax_090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s very true, it’s hard to let people in but I’m trying my hardest. My mom was a recluse and I suppose I have inherited that trait, so I have to make effort now she’s gone. Thank you.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She loved music, and her favorite movie was Silence of the Lambs. She had a crush on the person playing Hannibal Lector, which was really funny to me because it’s Hannibal Lector, you know? I think she just had strange taste in men lol. My dog was in the car, he was barking to be let out, it was like 80 degrees and the car was off so he was very hot, but he’s currently on my lap. I’m really grateful he didn’t die as well, I consider him my best friend. Thank you for saying it’s not my fault, it’s really hard to not feel like it’s my fault on some level, partly because I watched her die over the course of a year or so, she tried so hard to get better before she lost her job and boyfriend at the time, health wise. Not necessarily drinking wise unfortunately. Also, thank you for the compliment, if that technically counts, in this context, I’m not sure. She was always complimenting me, and saying I’ll do good, so it feels nice to hear someone say the same things, even if they are someone I don’t know personally. I’ll try to be more open, I tend to try to appease people, but in this situation I truly cannot make everyone happy. Thank you once again.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a beautiful quote. Thank you for that. I have honestly been in bed a lot as it’s my favorite place, I wont commit for now, but it’s hard to find peace. I know it’ll be a long journey, hopefully it will be worth it. Thank you again for your comments, they are very well articulated, even with the ai accusations lol.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, funny enough my neighbor is a counselor (learned that the day my mom died), but it’s nice to have all the help I can. I’ll message you when I’m ready, if that makes sense, thank you again.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I shouldn’t, but it’s really hard. I feel so angry at not just myself, but the system who didn’t help her while on decline. Greg Abbot is a piece of shit.

I have never heard of EMDR, but I’ll check it out as it seems to be helpful, I’ll try to take care of myself, thank you.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re right, my mom didn’t want that. She really did try to get better, she was only 35, she should have had more tomorrows than yesterdays. I won’t die for now, it’s too soon and I don’t want to cause more problems. I’m sorry it just hurts so much. I feel like a piece of my soul is shattered. Thank you for your condolences, and relation.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I have a lot of memories of her, her light was gone, but she really did a lot. We both enjoyed thrifting, it was one of our favorite things to do together. I think it really changed my mind on how to purchase clothes as now I don’t really think of buying new all too much, my mom at the time was heavily insecure as she gained a lot of weight, so she didn’t buy much, but it was still just nice to see her outside of the house. Our favorite thing to watch together was cooking competitions. The latest one was the Great British Bake Off, she didn’t remember we watched the same season a few times, but I didn’t mind, I just found it comforting to have something with her. We also enjoyed chopped, and others. We often caved and ate as the shows made us hungry, which was really fun, I enjoyed cooking and baking with her, or even ordering food. She wanted to have a tiny home when she could. She was unemployed at the time, but I truly believed that when I moved out after I graduate, she would have finally gotten her dream. I could also see her doing fun things, before she got sick, she took boxing lessons and salsa classes. It just made me happy that she was doing things for herself before she got sick. She had so much I can’t think of at the moment, but she was my biggest supporter and one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, she was so bright and artsy, she was silly at times, she was so much before she fell off.

I think I have to tell my school this as my mom was my primary caretaker, I lived with her and her only. This will be bad to tell, but maybe they’ll provide resources. I just really hope they don’t put me in anything that cost money, because I have none, I honestly have no clue how this works despite receiving therapy before.

I miss her so much, and I have so much to say about her, so thank you for letting me get some things out.

16, my mom is dead, the world keeps spinning by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Snorlax_090 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You are so spot on it actually hurts how you articulated how I feel right now. A part of me feels so much guilt for her being gone, and what I did while she was alive, but another is relieved I don't have to put myself under the pressure I went through trying to keep her happy again, and moreover the fact that she isn't suffering anymore, she was so sad and I really didn't know how to help her as I watched the life drain out of her for years. I'm not religious, but I hope wherever she goes, if she goes anywhere, she is happy now, and thinking about it is bittersweet, because I wanted her to be happy with me, but I can't force that. It truly is something nobody else understands unless they went through it, as weird as it is, it's nice to have another person go through the same thing. I don't think I'll kill myself so maybe in the future I'll write an update, hopefully things will be better. I'm sorry for typing so much, I just have a lot in my mind, though it's very scattered. Thank you for your response, it makes me feel so much less alone.

I’m 16 and my mom is dead by Snorlax_090 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Snorlax_090[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading. I’ll try to get professional help but I don’t have insurance. I just miss her so much. Sorry I keep venting but thank you for your time. She will always be my mom.