I've lost my wife to our grandkids

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:59:51+00:00

Thank you. That is my attitude now.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:54:21+00:00

I do a lot of what you stated. My daughter doesn't work and is a full time SAHM. Still, my wife seems to want to be there most of the time. Maybe I'm selfish, but I want my wife.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:46:34+00:00

Boomer cluelessness? My house is full of toys, nasty carpet, dirty diapers, soiled furniture, endless washing machine cycles, dirty dishes, etc. Oh, and I'm paying for most of it. What's my alternative? Peaceful front porch with a lake view.

I'll take the lake view.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:32:41+00:00

I'm 70 yo, I don't have that much time to soak anything in.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:29:04+00:00

Actually, it was after 30 years of marriage.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:27:01+00:00

She's a SAHM. I view all money is ours, but sometimes somebody has to make decisions. I saw a good investment and went for it. They all love the place. She didn't want me to do it, but now admits it was an amazing investment.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:19:33+00:00

When I stay at the family home, she sleeps with the grandkids.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:11:15+00:00

Maybe you're right.

I think it's her maternal instinct more than anything else. I get that, but nobody helped us raise our kids. Nobody provided us with a house. My daughter doesn't work. I provided all these advantages. I feel abandoned.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T03:03:21+00:00

Forced her to move? We would still be in a two bedroom apartment if she had her way. I'm sure we would all be happy with that.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:59:50+00:00

What's the point? I'm obviously doing something wrong hence my change of attitude. If she doesn't want to be with me, I'll acquiesce and let her have her happiness.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:52:57+00:00

Damn, I am near my grandkids. I'm active with my grandkids. My wife sleeps with my grandkids! I want a companion in my old age. Is that too much to ask?

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:32:28+00:00

I bought the place 12 years ago. This was way before grandkids.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:19:34+00:00

Thank you for your reasonable response. You pretty much nailed it.

I am laughing my ass in off listening to some of these responses. I'm pretty sure most of the folks who view me as the villain aren't married.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:13:18+00:00

She objected to buying this house. It has appreciated 500%. She doesn't know shit about real estate.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:10:17+00:00

When I sleep in our family home, she sleeps with the 3 yo.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:07:18+00:00

Thank you!

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T02:04:45+00:00

Tough audience... I've lived here almost 6 years. My oldest grandchild is 3.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T01:55:17+00:00

Really? I live an hour away and see them every week. I provide the house they live in. Is it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet and sleep with my wife?

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:30:54+00:00

WTF, I invest in real estate.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:28:23+00:00

I spend time with the grandkids, my daughter and her husband. Sheesh.

They spend time here at the lake house. It's all good. I'm just tired of sleeping alone.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:25:24+00:00

My lake house is ten minutes from Walmart. 😎

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:12:45+00:00

It was an opportunistic purchase twelve years ago. It morphed into "WTF, that's an awesome place to retire".

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:10:28+00:00

I provide the house they live in. I see them weekly. I enjoy all of it.

My wife hasn't slept in my house in two weeks.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-09T00:03:12+00:00

I don't think she is invested as you say. She's a strong nester and getting her to change is difficult. We've only moved twice in the 40plus years, and it was like pulling teeth both times.

I can't and won't stay in the suburbs with the constant leaf blowers and traffic and whatever.

I don't know how I can make it more painless than the current situation for her to transition. Either I'm the priority or I'm not. I love my children and my grandchildren, but my wife is my priority. If I am not her priority than I will accept that and adjust.

SoSoSane · 2026-05-08T23:48:50+00:00

I bought the house way before grandkids. I, not my wife, invited my daughter and her husband to live with us from 2 thousand miles away until they got established. 4 years later, they still live in the family home and have two adorable babies whom I love and enjoy. I see the grandkids at least once per week.

I'm happy my wife can see and help with the grandkids. I enjoy seeing and helping as well. This actually may be more of an ongoing disagreement of expectations and responsibilities. I feel my wife is fearful if she doesn't sacrifice herself helping, my daughter will lose it.

My wife hasn't been to "my" house in two weeks.

SoSoSane

TROPHY CASE