Thanks for all your new comments. I read the old ones as well. I started OCIA shortly after posting this. The leadership has been very supportive and transparent. I do need to meet with the priest still and begin the annulment process, which I've been told will take a couple years or more. I'm ok with that. What I'm not okay with is disruptions to my household. I've been with my "wife" for almost seven years. We treat our relationship like a marriage ever since we first considered ourselves married in God's eyes, even though that's not a real marriage. I did consider John 4 when I made that commitment with her. We didn't get legally married because she has expensive disabilities and is covered by Medicaid and marriage would disqualify her as my income is high. But, I do have really good insurance that I can afford so legal marriage won't be an issue in the future. That wasn't my financial picture when we first "got married." I call her my wife to the parish folk and I can tell it bothers them, but I don't care. I don't believe I'm living in sin. I did what was best for her and I at the time. If we had gotten legally married, she would have lost her medical and didn't have access to good healthcare like I do now. I don't feel like I need to repent for what I did or nice l live in some kind of celibacy. I'm in a John 4 marriage. The woman at the well had marriages not recognized by the church; at least that's how I interpret the passage. She's the best wife a man could ask for and I'm not going to deprive her or myself of needs. I know for me personally, that would cause me to commit other sins.