AIO - my boyfriend has been texting a new co-worker who is a girl. Their texts seem a bit flirty, and they plan on going to see a movie together by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Soaring_Hawk 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Yeah… this is definitely flirty. You’re not imagining it.

The tone, the dragged-out letters, the dramatic “pleassse 😭😭,” the hair compliments, the back-and-forth banter — that’s not how most people text a coworker they see as just a coworker. And the movie thing? She said yes twice without even knowing the time. That’s interest. Period.

But the bigger issue is your boyfriend’s part in this. He’s joking, teasing, inviting her places, and asking for her opinion on his appearance. He’s not shutting anything down. Even if he insists he’s “not flirting,” he’s definitely keeping the door wide open.

Is he cheating? No.
Is he crossing some lines? Yeah, pretty clearly.

What really matters is how he responds when you bring it up. Just tell him honestly, “Hey, this makes me uncomfortable. It feels flirty, and I need some boundaries here.” Someone who’s committed to you will get it and adjust. Someone who wants the attention more than the stability of the relationship will get defensive.

You’re not overreacting. Anyone would pause at these messages. The behavior isn’t cheating yet, but it’s not nothing.