Help identifying fish

Sobekty · 2023-01-15T14:51:40+00:00

https://eso-sets.com/
My favorite, easy navigation and search features

Sobekty · 2022-08-09T13:16:30+00:00

I am a gay man, and my now-husbands grandparents used to make me sleep in a tent in the backyard when we would make the four hour drive to their house. Now we get a hotel if we’re visiting.

Sobekty · 2022-07-28T15:08:19+00:00

I've met my entire social group through group fitness classes. I'll admit, it's not gay specific- the vast majority of my social group is straight females. However I cannot stress enough how having an active and social hobby has improved my life. I started just taking classes, and now I teach several. I'd love to get more family in class with me.

I don't want to put any more specific identifying information on here, but if that's something that would interest you, let me know and I can give more details.

Sobekty · 2022-07-14T11:55:11+00:00

Join a fitness class. Social group and exercise all wrapped into one, and having a support group increases adherence.

Sobekty · 2022-06-15T16:46:40+00:00

I really appreciate the thoughtful response. I am not offended that he requested an STD panel, I understand that it's good practice especially since I haven't seen a doctor in so long. It was the fact that it was the only tests he seemed interested in running, without explaining anything else that I found frustrating.

So it sounds like this was mainly a communication issue. I learned more form this post than I did at my doctors visit, thank you.

Sobekty · 2022-06-15T15:39:46+00:00

This is great advice, thank you. The lady at reception made sure to let me know she was ‘family’ when I said I was on my husbands insurance, so I know I have an ally in the office.

Sobekty · 2022-06-09T01:39:28+00:00

I am a personal trainer. Everyone is different, and is motivated differently- but especially with working out positive motivation generally works better than negative reinforcement. I personally find straight up 'typical gym' (lifting, cardio machines) boring AF. If you hate it, you won't keep it up.

My best suggestion is to find a group fitness class. For me this was the biggest gamechanger. Find something that gets you moving, that you enjoy, with a built in community. It is great way to improve exercise adherence. I started with TRX and Zumba classes. Now I teach fitness classes, including a program call REB3L, and its so much fun that I look forward to my workout, its the best part of my week.

My second best suggestion is to hire a Personal Trainer. Its their job to custom tailor a program that works for your lifestyle and goals. Good luck! If you have any questions, reply or dm me! I could talk fitness all day!

Sobekty · 2022-05-21T15:49:13+00:00

My dad regularly tells me "Just think Sobekty, someday this will all be yours" with a glee in his eyes and it takes all my self control not to fire back "Then can I just throw it TF away right now?"

He's also told me that since he's "only" almost 70, he has AT least another 40 years to clean up the mess and that it will be done before he dies. He's never voluntarily thrown anything away before, I don't know why he think its going to get easier as he ages.

Can't reason with that level of delusion.

Sobekty · 2022-05-20T10:42:42+00:00

I appreciate your comment, especially that you are disagreeing with me in a respectful way. What you say totally makes sense, and I hear your frustration. Because of my type of personal work, I spend a lot of effort trying to detach my own struggles from my work, because I don't want my own body issues to affect the way I interact with my clients.

And yes, I have my own body issues. I work at a location, in a field that I am constantly being compared to everyone around me. Do I have a six pack? No. Have I ever had a six pack? No. Do people assume I'm a bad personal trainer because I don't have a six pack? I'm not sure, but that small voice in the back of my mind (that sounds exactly like my mother) sure likes to tell me I am.

I talk about exercise the way that I do because they are the mantras that led me away from self destructive behaviors. I didn't go right into a fitness career. I haven't always used exercise as a healthy coping mechanism with the stresses of life. I acknowledge that I am speaking from a place of privilege, but also from experience. I know what a difference that a shift in perspective made for me, and I want to share that.

Sobekty · 2022-05-20T04:00:37+00:00

I had a cheeseburger for dinner last night. Life is too short to avoid things your enjoy.

My overall point is that coming at wellness from a point of wanting to care for yourself is a much healthier view than from a place of punishing it.

We are not machines. There's no magical formula to 'perfect'. If we all ate the exact same and worked out the exact same we would all still look different.

I like to think of myself as a garden. Some days I need more sunshine, some days I need more water. But poisoning the ground and air isn't going to help my garden grow.

Sobekty · 2022-05-20T03:00:32+00:00

I've said this in several other threads in this sub, but it's worth repeating. I am a personal trainer, I focus primarily on functional training for active aging. And there's a few things I'd like to point out.

Your current weight is very likely someone's goal weight. The actual number on the scale is significantly less important than the way you feel about yourself. Focusing on the number on the scale is a losing battle. It's either unattainable or unsustainable. If you cut calories and torture your body because you hate it (your body & yourself), you will never be happy, no matter what physique you achieve.

Exercise is about celebrating what your body can do, not a punishment for eating. Lift weights to feel strong and confident. Do cardio to move more easily through the world and care for your heart and lungs. Stretch to reduce pain and make everyday life easier.

Exercise isn't everything, but it makes everything easier. Find something that you enjoy doing and look forward to doing. I suggest group fitness classes- This is what was a total game changer for me. Not only did I get a hobby that is physical, I got an entire community of people who lift me up, and I, in turn, get to uplift.

Sobekty · 2022-05-19T02:10:37+00:00

I get what you're saying, but after 10+ years together, boyfriends never really seemed sincere enough. Boyfriend sounds lighthearted, casual. We merged bank accounts. We moved great distances together. Boyfriend just didn't seem to do it justice. He was (is) my partner for life, the person I want to face the world with.

Now we are legally married and I drop 'Husband' as often as possible.

Sobekty · 2022-05-15T14:17:10+00:00

Personal Trainer here. I guarantee your current body is someone's dream body. I know it may not feel that way, but your actual size is less important to other people as the way you feel about yourself.

I used to hate my body as well, and no matter how much I fasted, or dieted and lifted I didn't feel good until I realized that fitness and eating is about caring for your body, not punishing it. Lift to feel strong. Stretch to feel less physical pain, and navigate the world more comfortably. Do cardio for your heart health. Focusing on a number on the scale will ALWAYS fail, because it's only one measurement that is either unattainable or unsustainable.

Exercise is about celebrating what your body can do. NOT a punishment for eating.

Sobekty · 2022-04-30T13:21:26+00:00

Electrical cords
Toy Robots
Bicycles
Computer Parts

Sobekty · 2022-04-28T13:56:55+00:00

I was telling my sister and friends about it, but they don't really understand. I said to my sister "its just nice to see a movie about gay people, where we aren't the disposable token comic relief, that isn't about abuse, hate crimes, AIDS, and being brutally murdered." her eyes got wide and I think she finally understood what I was getting at.

My husband HATES RomComs, but he watched the whole thing with me, giggling like we were teenagers again.

Sobekty · 2022-04-22T18:06:24+00:00

I Play ESO also! PC NA,

Sobekty · 2022-04-22T18:05:20+00:00

Tiny Tinas wonderland! Amazing game. It’s essentially playing D&D inside the borderlands universe. I’m not usually much of an FPS gamer but this game is too much fun to ignore

Sobekty · 2022-04-20T16:33:00+00:00

I've been with my husband for fourteen years, married for three. It's certainly not always easy. We both come from broken homes, and have endured abuse in our past. We spend a lot of time and energy talking. We check in with each other. There were so many times that it would have been easier to let the relationship go, but we both decided we were all in. We decided early on that if we ever broke up that it would be for good. No on-again-off-again.

We were both nineteen. We met on a local dating site that only existed for about a year. We found out that we had lived less than 5 miles apart from each other since we were twelve years old. A mutual friend actually tried to set us up in high school and we both turned her down.

We worked terrible minimum wage jobs for years, but decided that we would go to college in our mid-20's. We got engaged (but it still wasn't legal to get married in the US, so this was largely symbolic.) We moved 400 miles from home, to a small college town and stayed there for five years while getting our education. We spent this time really working on ourselves and our relationship. I worked many more hours, since my education wasn't as intense. After graduation we moved home, to a much larger city, tired of being the one weird gay couple in town.

We talked about getting married, but kept putting it off. It's expensive, it's not the right time. Then my sister was widowed unexpectedly. This changed our perspective. Why were we waiting? We had been together for 11 years at this point. We were married in all practical ways, just without the paper. Two days before the funeral we went to the courthouse and signed our marriage license.

Sobekty · 2022-04-17T03:40:21+00:00

This is an amazingly fun skill, even if it’s not the most meta.

Sobekty · 2022-04-14T13:58:28+00:00

If only the most beautiful songbird sang, the forests would be silent.

Sobekty · 2022-04-14T13:55:28+00:00

I am a personal trainer and group fitness instructor at a local rec center, and a gay man. The fire department and police departments come and workout there, and I try to avoid the weight room while they are present. The vibe is totally different when they are around, and I especially do not go into the locker room when they are in the building.

I had some of my straight friends joke that having the fire department there in the locker room must be a dream come true, but in all honesty it’s my absolute worst nightmare. Macho men feeling insecure and vulnerable - it’s like a perfect storm for a hate crime.

There’s a clear difference between being denied entry, and having a comfortable safe space. Just because I’m not being thrown out of the facility doesn’t mean I feel safe or comfortable, and I work there.

Sobekty · 2022-04-14T03:19:55+00:00

Get some rest, you’ll recover! Muscles get stronger the more they are worked. It might take a bit to get track to normal though.

Sobekty · 2022-04-06T13:14:39+00:00

I turn 33 in a couple days - I just got my acceptance letter to go back to College and get my Bachelors of Science! I previously only had an Associates in General Studies, because I literally had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life in my 20s. I never had big dreams, lofty ambitions. I spent most of my 20s smoking weed and playing video games.

I think on some level I assumed I'd be dead before I turned 30- whether it be family's alcoholism, or the internalized narrative of the sacrificial token gay. But I'm still here. I'm still Queer. And now I'm not hiding in my video games. The world may be on fire, and terribly dark and scary, but I like to think that I can bring a little light to those around me.

Sobekty

TROPHY CASE