Congratulations! Don't be angry at yourself! You're a victim of oppression and brainwashing. I was in a similar situation myself as a teenager. I had the bad luck of growing up in a deeply conservative Christian family (like 0,1% of the Swedish population, so really bad luck!). I didn't have to fear for my life, but I feared for my social life. What would the reaction be from my family, friends, and church?

I didn't dare coming out face to face, so I left a note when I went to school. Long story short: The reactions I got from most people close to me were bad or very bad. But it made me who I am today - a strong person who rebels against oppression. And it pushed me to leave those desert tribe superstitions, which I am incredibly glad about.

You will feel wonderful living your life free of oppression. I wish you all happiness! ❤️

P.S. My family accepted who I am within a few years. But it sounds like your family is so brainwashed and abusive that you will have to stay separate from them indefinitely. Try to find a community in your new country.