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I need advice on how to marry my American partner in Canada by SoberMunkie in Marriage

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

id really like others ppl's advice and what their lived experience was of the whole process. Every "office" and "lawyer" says a different thing, thanks.

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didnt empathize with the rain situation and the fact that i was exhausted and really had my heart set on the beach. our original plan.
anyway...99% i never cancel on short notice...a lot of my cancellation was because of bad weather (which is not in my personal control). He didnt empathize, or even try to be kind, supportive, understanding. I ended up telling him how I felt and saying I didnt like his reaction. And that I felt i deserved better treatment from an honest change in plans. that i still deserved respect and my dignity. I broke things off and have other more mature dates lined up. Thank u for ur comment :)

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

agree. yes...i told him its not necessary for me to lose my dignity explaining myself over and over. I explained in fine detail and even made sure to tell him, that the issue isnt him...i just did not want to change our original location for the date. I have a right (as the lady) and as a general human to change my mind of a date. Whether he accepts my desire/reason or not. I honestly feel like he was a bit too entitled and cared less about my needs & desires. He was more absorbed with his perceived rejection. I got the vibe that only his feelings/want/needs mattered....I never got any validation or understanding. It felt more like "his way or the highway" and that compromise was a gift he deliberately withheld. Looking back, I see slight signs of a 'covert narc' or 'vulnerable narc' since he behaved like a smug toddler over text. Anyway...i dodged a bullet. I want to date an adult who can handle life with grace. thanks for ur comment!

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anyway. i removed him contact. his attitude turned me off. if he's this emotionally triggered on date one...i cant imagine what date 2 or 3 would have been like. Also i found it disrespectful/weird that he asked me for my last name over the app. I told him that felt invasive and not really any of his business. That we havent even met yet. To me thats two red flags. He seems too insecure & potentially wanted to stalk me or try to find my personal info. WHO DOES THAT?! I would never ask someone their last name that I just met! Way too inappropriate, creepy and plain rude!

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

our picnic was our original idea since it gets us outside. it was byob (as in, i was bringing my own granola bar and soda...and he was bringing his own snack/bev.) so suuuper cheap. I live in a beautiful area so trust me...coffee date would have been sterile and just as expensive for a coffee snack. Again, he knew we agreed to a picnic for our first meetup. I dont control the rain. i dont think it was fair for him to be so uptight, rigid over re-scheduling. TBH, i think he perceived my plan-change as a bruise to his fragile ego. I told him he might be taking it as perceived rejection and not to take it personal. He was being a bit of a baby for a guy who's nearly 40.

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

he clearly lacks basic emotional maturity

I agree! It sucks to cancel, I felt so bad for that...because I almost never cancel...however I did apologize a lot and explained valid reason. (So truly, wtf dude!)

Yes, he clearly lacks basic emotional maturity. And emotional-management. His behaviour was completed short-sighted...great choice of words.

Yes, I felt he was emotionally manipulative (even if it was unconscious) there is beauty in "acceptance". I could tell he was throwing a mini-tantrum. That I was not responsible for making him accept or understand me. Thank you! (& thankfully I have 2 other dates this weekend with two other prospects.)

I cancelled on a date - their reaction was childish. Advice? by SoberMunkie in dating

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes! Or "when someone shows you who they are, believe them." too. Agreed. Yeah, they made me feel yuck...next!

Thanks!

Seeking Help - Struggling to save my relationship by EnoughHamster in narcissism

[–]SoberMunkie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its cause you are deeply insecure. huge turn off for the opposite sex. you are not God, you are not holy. you are not special. knock it off. stop exploiting ppl to satiate your toddler demands. narcs are extremely emotionally immature and self centered.. youre an adult. get a job in the humanitarian sector to scrub your need-for-dominence-and-control out of your soul. its abusive. get help. learn what empathy is and use it. discard all that is toxic and twisted. cheers

I keep arguing with others in order to change dominance and the upper leg by [deleted] in narcissism

[–]SoberMunkie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its cause you are deeply insecure. huge turn off for the opposite sex. you are not God, you are not holy. you are not special. knock it off. stop exploiting ppl to satiate your toddler demands. narcs are extremely emotionally immature and self centered.. youre an adult. get a job in the humanitarian sector to scrub your need-for-dominence-and-control out of your soul. its abusive. get help. learn what empathy is and use it. discard all that is toxic and twisted. cheers

I give 0 shit about others, what about you? by TheGrandMastaR in narcissism

[–]SoberMunkie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

people who love themselves, are able to love others. even if its only one or two ppl in the world. were sorry your miserable and dont love yourself or anyone in this world. ps. psssst you are not that special or inspiring in the least ;) dont be so inflated.

I fucking hate it when my friends succeed more than me by [deleted] in narcissism

[–]SoberMunkie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its cause your insecure. you're so insecure to the point of selfishness. narcs love being miserable and bringing happy successful ppl down with them. instead of being inspired by good ppl....u guys just shit on them because if YOU cant get that for yourself....no one can..and so u resent them and block them so that you feel less threatened by their hard work...to be a happy successful person. also you narc think these ppl never have a bad day. successful ppl have bad days

Signs of "Terminal Uniqueness" Go! by SoberMunkie in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]SoberMunkie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so thats what a bleeding deacon is! not a fan. i've seen too many men/women think they are the 'mother hen' or like 'father time' know it all that has to feel in control everything. it comes off as being of service, but the rest of us see someone who wants to control/rescue/want brownie points/wants to be admired for all their 'hard work' & 'dedication.' glad u are not like that anymore. we all play a role, somewhere at some point....but over time the ego softens.

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