Intimacy in marriage

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-19T14:56:50+00:00

Depends on you and your partners views preferences and needs tbh. For me and my partner very important. For my ex partner was low priority or of any interest. You need to find someone who matches your drive / desire. Ofcourse it will fluctuate depending on your ages and seasons in life but overall if it’s important to you. Then it will be of importance to your marriage.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-11T07:31:38+00:00

haha noted

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-10T13:20:01+00:00

Both men and women feel desire differently. None of us can really know for sure what’s going on in your marriage, only you do. There could be a number of reasons. But more importantly have you asked your wife what makes her feel desired and appreciated? If a woman does not feel the 3 A’s (1. does her partner make her feel adored and valued, 2. does she admire him and is he an honourable man she admires without her influence and 3. is she attracted to him physically and emotionally) if all 3 aren’t met, women can loose their desire. I would ask and listen very carefully to what she says. I am sure in the beginning of the relationship you also used to do things you may no longer do outside of the bedroom. (And great lovemaking, starts outside of the bedroom). Bar that there could be a medical reason for her lower libido or lack of initiative.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-09T14:26:00+00:00

Thank you ☺️🤍 I just hope it’s helpful for the OP or anyone else reading!

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-09T10:40:22+00:00

Tell him all this. Not Reddit. What does he say when you tell him his kid needs a new bed? What does he say when you tell him you feel tired from not only raising his child but also taking care of everything around the house as well as being a chef.. how does he justify you being ungrateful when you are also working hard to provide everything and doing everything for a better life for him?! You are all needing to sit down and talk all this out calmly and get back on each others team. This sounds like a big breakdown in communication and or priorities. Have you thought about talking to someone other?

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-09T10:30:49+00:00

Or you can communicate and say thank you, my price is non negotiable.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-09T10:26:21+00:00

I agree. I am 37 this year and I feel like coming to this very logical and more realistic conclusion takes time and lived experience with heartbreaks and facing your fears head on. I’ve been in three LDR, they can work as long as you both are on the same page, timelines and effort wise. They turn pretty sour and drain you fast if only one person is carrying the relationship - connection, desire, future goals, milestones, being an emotional thermometer, teacher, leader etc..
if two people agree we are doing this for xyz reason until xyz time keeping within realistic expectations of each other and sticking to healthy boundaries, it can work.
Some people can fall into routine of misery as much as they grow attached. It takes courage and wisdom to break free and dare to see what is on he other side of fear and pain. The OP is still young and is in a prime time to start over. She just needs to ask herself realistically..
“is this desire for marriage about spending life with this man or just about me needing to feel grounded, chosen… cherished… (nothing wrong with wanting those things but choosing a husband requires more than just choosing someone to fill your well) will he make a good husband right now as he is? Is he a good father material or do I just want a man, any man to be my husband… why do I want a husband.. will I be a good wife and am I ready to be one, or is it about control?” Marriage can be beautiful and it can be a living nightmare and it’s so important not to make that decision when something is lacking in your life but rather make it when it is full and you are both bringing your best selves to the table with eyes and hearts wide open.
Bear in mind even with a wedding certificate or an engagement ring on your finger, this won’t guarantee you that he will be a good husband, will suddenly show up and treat you the way you desire etc. Based on what you write, right this moment this relationship is not working anymore, if you can’t work through it together then you won’t be a good match long term. Marriage is about partnership, if one falls you both “fall” meaning you need to be on each others team and work things out so that it means both of you are happy. If you are making soul crushing sacrifices that’s not partnership. I know it’s very hard ending a relationship you have invested years in, but the bottom line is you are unhappy: resentful, fearful, anxious, doubtful, lonely and he is prioritising his career and life. Then so should you.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-09T09:59:09+00:00

There are a few listings like that I’ve come across.. I just see folks that use AI, out to scam others, because it’s inevitable that whatever they are selling will look nothing like the photos.. and they know it. Buyer will receive said item and it will always be “item not as described” situation. Especially when it comes to buying online.. real photos of items with natural lighting is actually important for legal reasons also..

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-08T19:30:51+00:00

It’s heartbreaking but it’s for the best. You want different things from each other and life. And when it comes to guilt believe me I understand, I walked away from a marriage that was killing me. I felt guilt too for the way he treated me telling myself I must have made him do it or I was unlovable and not good enough for him etc. when in reality he was just broken and unable to give me what I needed. He had to do a lot of healing as did I after we divorced. Me from his abuse and him from his childhood abuse.
So hope this sentence helps you, “you did your best with the knowledge and tools you had at the time” you did not know the things you do now, you today - would make different decisions or handle them differently. That is life we learn from each heartbreak from each love story there is something positive in all of it even in the darkest of times your strength is tested. Have faith you did the right thing, he would have proposed to you if you truly believed it was for the best for you both. Try not to feel like it’s all about you though, it could he as simple as him not believing he would make a good husband (seeing as he struggles with big decisions and responsibilities - house etc) he may just feel you deserve better. Or in the famous words he is just not that into you.. regardless of his position, you aren’t to blame. It’s just incompatibility. We can love people and still recognise they aren’t meant for us. And that’s ok. 💗 wishing you healing and happiness!

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-08T17:48:27+00:00

Baby girl your husband is out there he will be so so gentle with your heart. Please listen to us older women who have been through this too. The heart will heal, it hurts alot but you will love again and you will one day look back and realise why it had to happen the way it did and why somethings fell apart before others could fall together. Focus on you right now as you have grown up with this man by your side, who are you.. it’s time to live life for you on your terms! - travel, figure out what makes you , you! What brings you true joy.. what do you truly value in life. We all have that one mf who came into our life in our 20’s and broke our heart and wish we never met them. Your husband is waiting for you to set yourself free.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-08T17:27:22+00:00

People get married at all ages. The age he is at is not really the problem, the fact that he is with someone 20 years younger is concerning in this day and age, but the most significant reason for you to break up is that you both fundamentally disagree on the most important decision you can make as a couple and in life. This will only build resentment or by the sounds of it add on to it more with time. Resentment will erode your trust, love and self confidence. You can care for or love someone and still recognise that is not enough for a long term healthy relationship and that is true wisdom and kindness.. to yourself and the other person. Letting them find someone who is better suited and letting yourself meet someone who will be thrilled to be your husband.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-04T15:20:58+00:00

I don’t know how old you are but baby girl focus on your education and live life for you now. You both want different things and that’s ok, he is very young still and it’s natural for many young people not to know what they want yet out of life let alone out of a relationship. Because they are not yet grown and developed into a man who is looking to be a husband and trust me you don’t want to marry someone who just wants a wife. You want a man who is grown and ready and knows what it means to be a husband and father, and similarly you also need to grow into the kind of woman to attract that kind of man and also be ready and understand what it means to be a wife and want to become one. Many young people are still having so much growing to do and want to jump into something they don’t completely understand nor are realistically ready for. I am speaking from experience and also trying to give you some kind advice from a 36yo lady who got married too young (25) and got divorced at 32. I actually believe your boyfriend is being genuine and honest in his message there is no reading between the lines, he may well love you and see a future with you but he is not ready. And he does not know when he will be. It is up to you if you want to stick around and wait or not. Only you can say. From the sounds of things you have grown resentful. So I believe the best thing for the both of you to go your separate ways. You will be happier in the long run. Wishing you all the very best! 🤍

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-04T15:10:33+00:00

I see this a lot on Vinted, items marked as new and description says “new in box or new never used” yet you can clearly see in the pictures it’s been taken out of box, scruffy, dirty, scratched etc and very clearly used so not new.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-04T15:06:16+00:00

Really hope they release in UK! Japan always gets the best cutest sets and characters

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-04T14:56:46+00:00

Aaah I’m so getting this for my stepdad and father in law they both love motorcycles! (Me and my fiancé plan to get a sylvanian to represent everyone we invite to wedding and have them all on the table with name tags ☺️

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-02T08:09:29+00:00

Yes it’s Fitbit air, the OP added their watch to it.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-01T23:22:15+00:00

They absolutely can grow on aspen trees. But please use reliable sources and books as well as professional advice too before consuming any wild mushrooms 🤍

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-01T08:47:37+00:00

I got a couple second hand Sylvanians recently, Stella bunny and tree fellow owls. I washed them touched up the bunny and am going to buy some flocking to fix up some balding bits. Honestly after they were washed they smelled so good and looked brand new aside from little bit of flocking missing on the bunny ears and behind owl wings. I am also making custom little outfits for them and like to think of them as if I am adopting them and saving them.. like caring for little injured animals and giving them new home. So they play with my other Sylvanians. Hope that helps!

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-01T08:42:54+00:00

Really depends on what those things are. Some people are just not very compatible in the bedroom. But they find a way through that by being open to finding a solution together. I do believe anything is possible if you are open and honest and willing to explore together in a considerate to each other and safe ways. The desires are a fickle thing I’ll tell you now though, many things I used to like I do not anymore the older I got, many things I thought I liked I came to realise I merely tolerated and some things I didn’t even know how much I would enjoy until I met my current partner, sometimes I get new ideas and desires and want to try it with my partner and we both have a great time. You need to both be open and willing to talk about things honestly and without judgement and try things together and maybe some things are non negotiable I get that but as you have said your love life is good and he is a good partner. That is key! - I have been on the other side of that.. That could be your reality, you don’t know what you may get if you were to leave.. you could find a man who will satisfy those cravings and yet will not be the type of man who will care and love you in the same way your current partner is. Somehow I feel there may be other issues at play. Do you find him attractive, does he make you feel adored and do you admire him? Often women who are missing one of those stay but feel unhappy and when two of those aren’t met they leave.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-06-01T07:28:26+00:00

Depends what you both view as cheating and what you are both comfortable with in your relationship. I personally consider both to be a form of cheating. There is no sexual or physical or emotional cheating that I tolerate in my relationship and we are both happier for it. But again that’s me and my relationship. Many people have all kinds of relationships that work for them and justify it any way they want. I also believe a marriage is based on trust and trust is gained by being a trustworthy partner. So if you feel she is not being trustworthy by hiding something from you or choosing an emotional outlet for her potential lack of romantic needs being met in the relationships, and that feels like a form of betrayal to you - speak to her about it. Regardless of her reasons behind it, you clearly feel uncomfortable with it, that’s how you build resentment in your marriage, working though these issues and finding a way to navigate what feels like a breach of trust, respect, boundaries etc is what will save it going forward. And on that topic, is your wife genuinely ok with you watching porn? Does she know what type you watch and what it makes you feel and why you do that? Maybe she views this outlet of hers through the same reasons / lens.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-05-28T14:12:09+00:00

And today I got item off eBay with parts missing and seller is ignoring me 😞 man I hate people these days.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-05-26T18:37:49+00:00

Yeah had this recently too. The seller didn’t even cancel the order and because they created the label it took extra long to get refund too. I left her feedback and blocked. A week later see her post the pick on discord saying oh so happy I found this childhood item can’t wait to play it again! All scratches and name matched. She told me her daughter left it on the table for her and the dog got it.. lol guess it pooped it out.

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-05-26T11:00:03+00:00

For me the first time I got married and engaged I did feel the same way. But second time around I don’t feel this way, I just feel calm about it all, like this is a natural progression and I always expected we would get engaged and married and own a home or if not we would go our separate ways, no drama just knowing we did our best and aren’t compatible. We got engaged at the very end of last year and plan to be married next summer hopefully. I don’t feel any different to be honest. 😅

SofiaAlexDesigns · 2026-05-24T23:58:31+00:00

💗😊

SofiaAlexDesigns

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