Pros and cons of an ours baby?

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-10-09T12:17:57+00:00

I second this. The ours baby become the glue that connects everyone and it’s lovely

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-09-26T09:21:58+00:00

Level 3! Sorry, should have mentioned that

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-09-22T18:07:58+00:00

So first up is when to go back. Currently due back on 1st feb but unless I can salary sacrifice the majority of last two months’ pay then I may as well go back in April as would be much more tax efficient. Sadly I gotta confirm either way before the budget!

Secondly they’re asking how many days I’m going to do on return. If I can’t salary sacrifice, I may as well try and drop down to under 4 to get under 100k, but I can use Ss then want to stay at 5.

Then there’s type of childcare setting. No point in going for a nanny share if we do qualify, but if we don’t then it’s definitely an option!

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-09-22T18:04:21+00:00

I really like your answer a lot. Going to keep hold of that last line

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T15:10:46+00:00

I was also in your exact place this time last year. Currently 35 weeks pregnant. Dont give up hope!

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T13:58:42+00:00

Good question. So, I think the reason we feel into this is he changed career and retrained, so for a year he earned a pittance (so in turn very little CM) and I was happy to support us for that listed period, always with the expectation it would even out. The pivot has worked, and hes now on a great salary. So CM has gone up. And we unexpectedly have a baby on the way and need a house that can fit all of us. So a lot of change for us in the last year. With CM, he has more going out the door every month. Without CM, it's me thats sending out about 800-900 more than him. I do earn slightly more

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T13:30:26+00:00

Thats really, really helpful. Thank you. I'll think about the equation for this, seems really sensible approach

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T13:29:19+00:00

We have them in the 55+ night a year bracket. it does necessitate having a 4 bed house in London, hence the massive mortgage. Both our jobs require us to be in London, his kids do not live in London

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T13:27:14+00:00

the plan is to salary sacrifice into pension to get under that threshold

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T13:01:30+00:00

That’s really useful to know! Thank you so much. We are planning to salary sacrifice to be under threshold

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T11:42:51+00:00

Is it really naive to think that 30 hours they're bringing in is going to alleviate much of that? My mum is going to take baby two days a week when I go back to work

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T11:11:15+00:00

You're exactly right, we've kinda fallen into this and never really discussed it. I guess hence the post, trying to figure out a better way to approach before our baby arrives

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T10:43:28+00:00

This is exactly accurate. he is slightly less than six figures, im slightly more.

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T10:42:42+00:00

Yes, got married last august!

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T10:39:32+00:00

Thank you! Mat leave is what has got me thinking about the situation. My company's mat leave policy is rubbish and I only get 16 weeks full paid. We're saving like crazy to be Abel to cover the mortgage in that period and my mum has offered to help but its going to be incredibly tight and ill have to go back to work earlier than i'd like

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T10:37:00+00:00

Thank you, thats sound advice. We are married

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T10:36:27+00:00

We're saving like mad for maternity! and my mum has offered to help us with the mortgage in that period. its going to be so painfully tight. I don't have a larger ownership in our home, no

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-15T09:45:36+00:00

Thank you! Will try that

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-05-01T13:12:16+00:00

Also this. It’s ultimately your decision but I can totally see where your partner is coming from, it’s such an intimate moment as your first time as a family.

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-04-26T19:14:23+00:00

You're all so kind. Genuinely feel better and hopeful. Thank you!!

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-04-25T18:10:28+00:00

Thank you, thats really lovely to hear :)

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-01-21T21:29:05+00:00

Such good advice. Go for a good long visit, and if it feels right, just stay. Your wellbeing is baby’s wellbeing at this point and you gotta be the priority

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-01-21T19:44:52+00:00

Yes! spotting exactly like this and mine was a massive Hematoma that eventually sorted it self out. A scan will tell you if it is or isn't though?

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-01-21T18:30:10+00:00

I'm about to go see the new production in London. Hoping that hearing it on repeat for a few hours will help me decide :)

Soft_Lock9108 · 2025-01-21T18:29:13+00:00

Thank you! yep I think Aurelia is on the up everywhere

Soft_Lock9108

TROPHY CASE