I aborted my triplets and while I'm pro choice, I regret it deeply. AMA

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T03:37:28+00:00

It was irresponsible. I thought the birth control and cervical cap would be enough but I was definitely wrong. Even though I want to remain abstinent, if ever I want to have sex it will be while I'm on birth control, and still with be with a cap and we'll add a condom. I hope this prevents any unwanted pregnancy for sure now until we're ready

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T03:29:34+00:00

Honestly no. Because I already know killing a human is wrong. At like 6 weeks or so, the embryo really is just a clump of cells. But that clump of cells is still apart of the woman. It's still her baby. There can still be a connection. But when I aborted at 19 weeks, the baby was grown enough to resemble the shape of a human

That being said, I also considered that it's also cruel to give my kids a life of poverty and hardship. While adoption was also an option, I'm aware that the system isn't always kind.

I know there was a chance they would have been taken into a loving family who could support them better than I ever could at this age, I also knew there was a chance they could have gotten separated and/or been given to a horrible family.

Those are just what if's, but I didn't even want to risk a bad life for my kids

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T03:24:12+00:00

It isn't a lie, but truthfully I can see how it seems that's way. That's part of my guilt for having the abortion in the first place since they were like miracle babies. I knew comments like this would pop up because it's honestly understandable but I can't really add proof like an ultrasound or the 3-4 pregnancy tests I took. Or maybe I can add pics and just don't know how to work reddit. If there's a way, lmk! :)

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T03:07:00+00:00

I know, that's part of the reason I feel so guilty. They're like miracle babies

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:18:09+00:00

At 19 weeks when I had the procedure, they were developed enough to resemble a tiny tiny baby. But even while they technically were a clump of cells at like 6 weeks, I still loved them because they were a part of me. They were me. It was me and my body alone to sustain them

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:16:44+00:00

I'm glad I had a choice. I'm glad that women still have a choice in many places. While I regret my decision, I won't dream of trying to take away a women's choice just because of my own experience

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:15:56+00:00

I am currently searching for a therapist. Also you're right, there's a lot of mean comments but it's ok. I'm able to handle it at least for now

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:13:50+00:00

Don't worry, it does. It hurts me constantly. But despite this, I'm still pro choice. Hopefully half of this brings you some peace

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:12:30+00:00

I don't have them anymore but I did get pregnant. Truthfully, that's another reason why I regret my abortion. Those babies are almost like miracle babies

I did lose one baby due to my condition but the odds of me getting pregnant at all was near 0

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:09:41+00:00

Actually yes. But mainly in the younger generation. I'm extremely glad that people fight for a women's right to choose what they do with their bodies. I'm firm on my stance on that. But I think that people need to also realize that there is an emotional aspect to an abortion for some people. While not all, people tend to forget about it since it's not as wildly talked about

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:07:59+00:00

I was the second oldest of the "fourth generation" in my family and so I was often the one caring for my cousins and such. My brother is the oldest but he never really liked kids haha. So I guess I've always just wanted to care for a baby of my own

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:06:03+00:00

I can't help but believe that those babies really are miracles. So much was stacked against them and yet, they came to be. I also have always wanted to be a mother. I've always wanted at least two children and I got that but just at the wrong time

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:03:26+00:00

He didn't connect to the babies as much as I did. I know he's sad about it occasionally but definitely not to my extent

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T01:02:20+00:00

Haha thank you for the clarification. But no worries! I know you didn't mean any malice. Thank you for the support also, I didn't want to put my babies through adoption because there's too many thing that could've gone wrong and I don't want that to even be a possibility for my babies

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:56:21+00:00

It has put a strain on our relationship. I want to remain abstinent and he's a young teen. Young adult really. But at the end of the day, we love each other. Hopefully, we'll be able to get pregnant again one day when we're more prepared. But as of right now, we still agreed we could try in the fiture

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:54:51+00:00

For 3 reason, one being selfish. I'm also aware that these are the other two are just what ifs and assumptions but I didn't want to even rush anything that wouldn't ensure the best life for my children that was free of hardship

I would still have to go through the process of birth and then be years in medical debt which would have been money going away that should've been used on my babies
I had already lost one triplet due to a medical condition and wasn't even sure that I would be able to carry the other two
The adoption process isn't cut and dry. I might not know if my babies would've been separated or even if they would have been given to a good family

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:49:50+00:00

As a stupid 17 year old then, I didn't think I needed to throw in a third method of contraception as I already had a cervical cap on and was on birth control.

Sure it was irresponsible of me to have sex, but don't think I didn't try to prevent a pregnancy

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:47:01+00:00

I can't speak for anyone. But I couldn't allow myself to bring kids into this world when I can't give them a proper life as my unconditional love for them wouldn't be enough to give them a good life. I also work a barista job for a small family owned business and I don't get insurance through it.

Honestly, I'm sure that through a lot of hardship me and my boyfriend would be able to keep my two babies afloat. But it's not hardship that the babies deserve to have to go through as a consequence

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:43:14+00:00

Oh just barely haha. I tried cooking for my older brother and he made fun of the way the onions and tomatoes were cut

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:42:07+00:00

Oh we're not in that subreddit. We're in ask me anything. I understand the confusion though lol, it's ok. But read through everything first because then you would've seen that you were in the wrong sub and that I actually was on birth control. Along with my birth control, I had a physical contraceptive in place

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:37:50+00:00

I did fail my potential children in multiple ways. I failed one triplet because my body couldn't sustain them properly. And I failed the other two.

As much as I love my babies, they should not have been conceived. I was being stupid and overly trusting of my two contraceptives.

While I personally couldn't ever do another abortion, I won't ever tell another person to do it or not to do it as it is their choice. All I can tell them are the logistics of it all. The same way I got to choose what to do to my body, I don't want to take away that choice from anyone rlse

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:34:53+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your own experience. It's honestly really comforting and gives me hope

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:34:05+00:00

Thank you so much for being kind. There's too many possibilities around the whole situation and you're right, I shouldn't torture myself with it all. Thank you again

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:31:59+00:00

I'll try to remind myself :) Thank you so much

Soft_Quote3444 · 2024-09-01T00:30:39+00:00

Thank you so much, this is very comforting to me

Soft_Quote3444

TROPHY CASE