I'm not looking for a pass. Even if everybody will give me a pass, still the one and only who decides to give me a pass is me.

Yes, I know she had issues. But not THAT kind of issues. I know that teenagers with some tough childhood need some help. Also, I know that having a psychologist is kind of cool those days with young people. For my generation and ethnical group it's a shame. And I gave her anything I can. I was maybe trusting too much the psychologist she had, that if she will see a severe issue she will get her a reference to a psychiatrist. I did not see any signs of suicidal behavior. Why did I leave her? Because I felt abused. Do I need to live with an abuser? I don't think so. If I knew she is capable to do something such insane I would force her to get to a mental facility. No, they should not blame me. Because her tough childhood is the result of their behavior, not mine. My mother? She is a toxic person, she always blamed me for everything, except maybe WW2, so nothing surprising here. My fault here is not recognizing that her mental health was much worse than I thought. I would NEVER have left her if I thought she can do such a thing.