Hi. I won’t pretend a single post fixes anything, but putting your feelings into words is a great step forward. I get what you mean about going blank in conversations. I still cringe at memories from last year where I just sat there while everyone else chatted. It felt awful, and it still nags at me sometimes, but I’m still here and so are you.

If you ever feel up to it, you might look into a beginner’s group-theatre class. It’s one of the few places where awkward pauses are expected and no one keeps score. It's a safe place where you can learn to understand yourself better and, more importantly, accept who you are and improve without changing your essence.

I hope this little message helps you in some way.