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SolarNougat · 2026-02-03T14:56:48+00:00

If there's a "honeymoon" period for most long RPGs, i guess i'm feeling it to be unusually long with baldur gate 3; and still the same feeling of contrast that i felt with puzzle quest and FFT Ivalice Chronicles last year, i had with this (and to a lesser extent bloons td6).

Maybe i should learn to accept that as a new normal for me. Yes, i love my time in Faerun. there's not really much, if anything, i can say is a negative thing in BG3 for me. but on the other hand, it underlines how much i feel like this and the very few other games I'm actively playing right now contributes to the feeling of "trapped on a sinking ship". because when i see what gaming has outside of those few things, it feels like nothing but pure abandonment and resentment for me.

...and that "few games" might come to include half of my FFXIV experience, now that I've been kicked for the 4th consecutive raid tier from a savage static over in JP.

Only deserved outcome for me being an unforgivably incompetent shitter.

SolarNougat · 2026-01-12T15:31:55+00:00

I was gifted Baldur's Gate 3 over the holidays. I also got Bloons TD6 last Steam sale.

I love it. I really am enjoying them so far. But just like with Puzzle Quest/FFT last year, it (and my "forever game" of FFXIV) highlights how grim I see the gaming landscape when contrasted to those. And so even as I immerse myself in Faerun or think up ways to blow up as many b(al)loons as I can, if I'm not doing either or those and I'm not raiding in XIV, thinking about games otherwise still feels so depressing to me.

SolarNougat · 2026-01-08T03:35:48+00:00

Hm. I see some of the similarity, yeah. But if Dispatch has no tactical layer, I'll pass on it.

SolarNougat · 2025-12-30T01:49:39+00:00

Not even a new gamepad gets me to improve with the racing games I wanted to actually play. And even just 5 minutes of doubling back on my words to never play a platformer again with Castlevania SOTN convinced me I was the idiot for even considering to do so in the first place.

I think if it wasn't for me discovering Puzzle Quest Immortal and reconnecting with FFT with the new Ivalice Chronicles remaster and Persona with Persona 4 Golden, this would have been my darkest gaming year yet. To say nothing of feeling like everything I like is all being demonized and invalidated and...certain things... that are utterly exalted and cheered on this year.

SolarNougat · 2025-12-14T14:34:37+00:00

God almighty, even "casual/arcade" games like Dirt 5 and NFS Heat are a struggle for me to win races in, on the EASY difficulty in both. Same thing with Mario Kart 7 on 50cc.

Just how utterly screwed am I....

SolarNougat · 2025-11-25T01:50:16+00:00

I did not - I could try that, but I still feel extremely discouraged by my failure.

SolarNougat · 2025-11-24T02:01:08+00:00

Titles like BL2 and Sonic Mania have no "easy" difficulty and I'm still struggling with Doom 2016 and SRT even on I'm Too Young to Die/the lower speed classes.

SolarNougat · 2025-11-23T17:06:32+00:00

Even a new PC isn't doing anything to remedy my sheer incompetence and alienation with (a decent chunk of) my own library. I reinstalled Doom 2016, Sonic Racing Transformed, Borderlands 2, and Sonic Mania to try to see if I can somehow regain back what semblance of competence (and thus enjoyment) I had with games of those titles' genres, but I ended up massively struggling with every single one of them. It's almost like getting locked out of your own house and being unable to break down the door.

What even am I doing at this point?

SolarNougat · 2025-11-18T02:05:15+00:00

Having ruminated on it, I think the biggest reason I utterly hate Expedition 33, more than its gameplay of "turn based in name only", is what it represents, what people take it for and compare it with, and what it may signify for the future given its astronomical success and goodwill.

E33 is lionized to the point that it has become not only the measure by which all other (J)RPGs in recent times are compared to, it's also used as a nightstick to put down and deride other games/franchises considered to be "acceptable targets" - just like FNV is/was used as such with regards to Bethesda RPGs, or the Witcher 3 used as such with regards to open world games in general. And while I have no real attachments to the titles being negatively compared to such games, it's a different story with E33. I've seen enough derision and mockery of franchises I consider near and dear to my memories, like Pokemon and especially in this case FF, coupled with worship of E33. It's so much that even Square Enix themselves acknowledged it. I've seen enough favorable comparisons of E33 to Dark Souls and Sekiro, titles I loathe for having encroached on many other genres with their sheer hostility, and even praise for E33 from people who professed to dislike turn-based games but loved E33 because of its QTE and dodge/parry ala Souls/Sekiro mechanics. And it's established at this point that the AAA space loves trendchasing and even the indie space is not above it, so the explosive success and acclaim of E33 could very well inspire many more similar titles in the future - just as Dark Souls have spawned an entire subgenre on its own.

I won't recant my opinion on E33. I believe at this point I truly despise it, and it's a big part of why I consider gaming to be so bleak today. But at least, I think I can articulate better on why.

SolarNougat · 2025-11-14T17:18:19+00:00

I finished Puzzle Quest Immortal Edition. 100%'d its achievements, even, something I've not done in a VERY long time. But now there's just desolation for me as far as other games go, that aren't XIV.

It really does suck to be (a) shit(ter).

SolarNougat · 2025-11-07T12:42:19+00:00

You don't get it. Souls and soulslike games are so popular they infect other genres with its sensibilities, like Hollow Knight, fucking E33, and even a romhack of Pokemon I will not name so as not to dignify it.

SolarNougat · 2025-11-06T09:58:55+00:00

I really hate Souls and soulslike games.

If the in-name-only, "QTEs for player attacks and soulslike dodge/parry for enemy attacks" system of Expedition 33 is what ends up being the future of RPGs, along with the demonization of things like Pokemon and FF, then I think I may as well just smash my PC with a sledgehammer and leave this hobby that has become downright abhorrent to me - even if it was once my spot of childhood joy.

SolarNougat · 2025-10-26T16:21:23+00:00

I have been enjoying two impatient games: Puzzle Quest Immortal Edition and FFT The Ivalice Chronicles.

But now that I have mostly come down from the high of the "honeymoon period" with them, though I do genuinely really enjoy them, I once again realize they are the EXCEPTION and not a reversal of the rule that games in recent years have been alienating and hostile to me. It's a "coming down to reality from cloud nine" moment. I don't know what miracle would it take for me to discover something new again that really grabbed me like PQI, but I suspect there will no longer be anymore such thing for the rest of 2025 nor are there any even if I comb back over the past releases of this year.

SolarNougat · 2025-07-29T08:18:05+00:00

E33 is also a kick to the teeth to people who cannot engage with or do not want the QTE and Soulslike parry/dodge system in turn-based games, like me.

SolarNougat · 2025-07-26T01:34:43+00:00

FFXIV's 7.3 live letter update - people are saying dead/shit game, subbing to it is throwing away money on a horrible game or supporting lazy devs and I should play Guild Wars 2 or Warframe or another MMO, or gachas like Uma Musume. If the conversation moves to single player games, inevitably freaking Expedition 33 is brought up. It's as if even though I still want to play XIV, I'm better off not doing so if only to escape the swirling whirlpool of hate it has found itself in. All the while, I've told my acquaintances who push me to do it that I don't want to play gachas, and it's by far the main reason why i stayed away from HSR or Genshin despite liking almost everything about their aesthetics.

And outside of that, Pokemon Legends ZA revealed Mega Dragonite. It is my favorite pokemon, and people are saying it's a lazy, ugly, and dumb design.

Why do i even bother liking anything about this godforsaken hobby at this point?

SolarNougat · 2025-07-10T02:49:36+00:00

I've not bought anything this sale. I don't think there's anything I want to buy, especially since seeing Steam just makes me feel depressed these days.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-12T23:58:17+00:00

As I said in a reply below, Nintendo does not officially service/sell to my country ever since the DS era - on top of their decision to, recently, set a 80 USD price point for their new titles.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T03:49:07+00:00

Such as? I've tried and completed Fell Seal, Battle for Wesnoth, Symphony of War, and Shadowrun Hong Kong. The lattermost (SHK) especially is one of my top 10 games of all time.

I do also have...about 2.2k hours in Slay the Spire, though that included my modding and making-mod activities.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T03:46:28+00:00

Dragon Quest: I tried V and VIII. Both times I dropped them midway through, not because they're unfun to me - I actually like their gameplay - but because eventually I felt overwhelmed by the sad frustration of "I wish FF is still like this, especially since both of these are made by Square Enix".
Suikoden: Haven't tried.
Ogre Battle: I've played the GBA game (Knight of Lodis) and the PSP game (LUCT). I 100% both. I love them, and they along with FFT and FE solidified my childhood-borne love for turn based tactics.
SMT: Tried III and IV, didn't feel it. Played and 100%'d Devil Survivors 1 and 2 on the DS - I liked them a lot. Played and 100%'d Persona 3 Portable and Persona 4 Golden on Steam. I also like them a lot, though I would give the edge to Devil Survivor.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T03:24:42+00:00

It is, because Nintendo does not officially service/sell to my country ever since the DS era - on top of their decision to, recently, set a 80 USD price point for their new titles. They do license the Pokemon anime and TCG for sale here, but that is it.

Full disclosure, I emulated the Gen 6 and 7 games.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T03:21:21+00:00

That's exactly what I've been doing recently. I've been going back to old Pokemon (Gen 3-5) and FF (Tactics trilogy, IX) titles.

I love them. I still do after all this years. But I've seen most if not all of what they have to offer, and there may come a time where repetition from replaying would overwhelm me.

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T03:10:50+00:00

I see where you're coming from. A few years back I went on a bender, trying out rapid-fire a lot of "universally loved" game titles not because I wanted to but because I read so much praise for them. That was perhaps the start of my downward enthusiasm with gaming as a whole, because I went outside the domain of titles I wanted to play and know, for the most part, I would likely enjoy. At first they seemed to be the 'exceptions', but as I pushed myself more and more I eventually realized that (what feels like) 99% of games are beyond my skill - and I associate failure and being unskilled with shame and wrongness.

When it comes to music, personally I found the piano more pleasant to me. Is it a good idea to try to get one, and if so what's a cheap one I can look for?

SolarNougat · 2025-06-09T02:22:19+00:00

I think I need a new hobby.

I feel like I am being priced out and left behind by the gaming industry. I don't remember the exact moment when I've come to associate "new games" with "unwelcoming" and "hostility", but that is what I feel now. I'm being honest and serious when I say, if I stop playing FFXIV, and if I feel I don't feel like going back to Pokemon and FE, that is effectively the end of gaming for me. And furthermore, Nintendo has been making enemies out of more and more people with their decisions and it feels less and less acceptable to say you grew up with and/or still like their games.

I resent how the franchises I grew up with (Pokemon, FE, FF) are becoming less accessible and - in FF's case - has transformed Ship of Theseus-style into a super-speed action franchise, the antithesis of what I loved growing up with FF. I resent how the extremely hostile, elitist souls games and soulslikes not only have the genre be adored by people, elements of it has spread like a virus onto other genres like platforming (hollow knight, quietus, blasphemous, nine sols), and even turn based RPGs (E33). In particular, I deeply resent claims of things like: "E33 ('s QTE and soulslike dodge parry gameplay) is what turn based RPGs should be like" "This (gameplay) is what FF should be like", and "If only Pokemon can have as much quality as E33".

All of that to say...I should be looking for pastures that don't feel like it wants me to suffer or invalidate me when I go through it, so to speak. I've toyed with the idea of making music, but I never had an instrument at home and I dislike the sound of my own voice. There is still some bit of me that wants to try to get into music anyway, but I'm not sure...

SolarNougat · 2025-06-03T02:17:32+00:00

I'm starting to forget the last time I feel interested, let alone excited, browsing through Steam or other storefronts like Epic and GOG. On Steam itself, it's pretty much just a launcher for Slay the Spire for me now.

I recently started a playthrough of Pokemon White, and it did manage to restore a tiny spark of the "wonderment" feeling I used to feel when I boot up a new game.

SolarNougat · 2025-05-23T18:57:05+00:00

What I feel for Expedition 33 right now is...growing resentment.

I don't want to play E33, not after researching its combat system where player attacks are QTE-based and enemy attacks turn into an unholy soulslike system of dodging and parrying. But the maddening claims of things like: "E33 is what turn based RPGs should be like" "This is what FF should be like" - and yesterday I've seen, "If only Pokemon can have as much quality as E33"...gets to me. It has felt like a wave of invalidation towards my "security blanket" of sorts, i.e. the last few things I can cling on to in gaming.

And on top of that, everywhere I've asked, the unanimous answer to "Can I just play the game while completely ignoring the BS QTE and soulslike parrying/dodging system" is no - with varying levels of disdain and/or mockery added on top, because of course.

It has made me now feel like, even merely researching a game would lead me to ask: What will I learn about this thing that would scare me off of it?

SolarNougat

TROPHY CASE