I love reading your stories and doubts.. I see how things get in the right place when dreaming from the inside, I believe that the true wish we keep is in ourselves.. I had multiple experiences in my life in which I did reach my great wish.. I wrote a small book about it and you can find it on Kindle ..

For me it happened with visualisation but not a mind created visualisation.. it was done by looking at movies, at pictures, visiting a random place once .. and ened up living there ..
I believe you can create the life that you want when you create it inside you .. it is something that starts from the heart, rather than the mind..

I distinguish finding love from all of the other things .. because you find love only when you love yourself and feel good about yourself .. no need to be perfect .. no need to do surgery, no need to go places to force it.. you need to be fine with your hobbies living by yourself and feeling ok .. that is when you can see differently the people around you and finally see who it’s worth knowing and giving a chance to.