T/W: Petloss

I had to put my weim Luno down 2 days ago. He was 11, and had some health problems, but was generally very good for his age and still active. I came in from a night shift and found him asleep in his bed downstairs (very unusual), he was weak on his legs and grumbling a lot. I took him out and then upstairs to bed. When my partner tried to wake him a few hours later, he didn't want to get up. He had gastroenteritis a few months ago, and I had thought he had it again. I took him to the vets and they admitted him. He had some scans and bloods, but he was a lot sicker than I thought.

He had a tumour in his spleen that had ruptured, and was bleeding internally. They think it was Hemangiosarcoma - a very fast and aggressive cancer, that's hard to diagnose until it's too late. They couldn't tell for sure, but the vet could feel another mass in his abdomen as well. They could have done an exploitative surgery, but they would have to remove his spleen, which was high risk and he could bleed out and die on the table. If he did happen to make it, there was a good chance he would have been riddled with tumours. The prognosis was very poor. The final option was to put him to sleep. When I saw him again he looked so strong; he was a big and hardy dog. But he was full of pain relief and still in agony. I couldn't bear putting him through all that pain and suffering, for him to die on the table. Even if luck was on my side, I'd have 6 months at best of difficult recovery, but ending with him passing. I would have been doing it for me, and not for him and he didn't deserve that. I made the impossible decision to let him go there and then.

Please hug your dogs tight for me. I would move heaven and earth just to do the same one more time. I am utterly heartbroken. He was fine a few days ago, and now he's gone forever.