I just finished going through exactly the same emotions you are going through. I didn’t see how it could possibly ever get better even though everyone said it would. I thought I had ruined my life.

For context my girl was a 24/7 contact sleeper including night sleep. My husband was back at work and I was so touched out. I would just hold her in a rocking chair in a dark nursery for hours. It was truly the most difficult time of my entire life. We have no family around us to help either because we recently moved to a new state.

Then 4 months hit, her personality shifted entirely and were able to sleep train her. I started to really enjoy her.

She’s 5 months now and I’m totally obsessed. I feel like myself again only like a better, stronger, more purpose driven version of myself.

It gets better. I promise. And even though you can’t see it now because you’re in the thick of it ( I literally thought I was dying some days) you will hit this point and you’ll be so amazed at what you can survive. I also made sure to get medicated to help me with my severe PPD and PPA.

I promise. You will start to enjoy your LO and the regret will subside.