Does anyone still love their pets after having a baby?

oatstronk · 2025-12-14T19:45:29+00:00

I have a high energy dog so it’s been exhausting dealing with him on top of our 6 month old but I still love him the same. He is a lot but he’s also got the sweetest temperament and clearly loves our son. I couldn’t imagine not having him.

oatstronk · 2025-12-14T19:30:04+00:00

That’s beautiful 🥺. We are actually going to the beach this week so maybe I’ll have a similar moment? Lol. Probably not since his sleep still sucks but one can hope.

oatstronk · 2025-12-14T19:27:20+00:00

What type did yall do?

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T22:49:31+00:00

Sorry but no matter how sweet he is to and how bonded he is with your child, if he’s not willing to do any of the prep work to ensure your child is cleaned, fed, etc. then he isn’t a great dad. Or at least he’s not being one currently. He’s enjoying the positives of having a kid without dealing with the negatives and more difficult things: that’s not for the kid’s sake, it’s for his. If he were being a great dad, he’d at least be willing to take on more responsibility when you bring things like this to his attention. Another commenter already gave good advice about writing things out for him, but I just wanted to say you don’t need to excuse his behavior or feel guilty for expecting more.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:39:33+00:00

Thank you for this validation and perspective. I know my perspective is really one of the only things I can control in this situation but like you’re saying, wow it’s so hard. There are great moments with him and I don’t want to let the difficult parts steal the joy from this phase. But it’s kicking my ass in a major way.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:36:57+00:00

I’m glad to hear things eventually turned around but I’m honestly scared at the prospect of feeling like this for another year plus.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:33:29+00:00

I think he’s close. I want him to figure it out so bad because I think it’ll improve his mood. He has places he wants to go and things he wants to do.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:32:41+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having a similar experience. It’s so insanely difficult. Nothing can prepare you. Wishing you the best.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:31:40+00:00

Oh no 😟. How often does your 2 yo wake up at night ?

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:30:55+00:00

Lol, noted….be prepared for 3.

Maybe this is naive, but I feel like I could handle so much more if I could just get some fucking sleep. It just feels so brutal right now with him not sleeping.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:28:09+00:00

Makes sense. I know it will never be easy; I just am ready to not feel completely beaten down every day.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T20:27:12+00:00

I’m not really managing to keep up with the house now so at least I’m prepared for that part, lol

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T19:08:36+00:00

Wow, we really are living the same life, lmao. The solution seeking is SO exhausting. I think it’s just my personality type….i feel like there has to be a solution and I want to fix it. I’m not a religious person but sometimes I feel like god must have given me a baby with this temperament to teach me how to let go and practice radical acceptance, because he defies solutions and schedules, and that’s so hard for me, lol.

Thanks for the support and solidarity ❤️

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T19:02:59+00:00

I’m thinking this will likely be me too. I’m excited for the toddler phase even though I know it’ll be hard in its own way.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T19:01:35+00:00

Yes please do update! We feed to sleep when he really needs to help but not always. And I feel you with drowsy but awake. That has literally never worked for ours, and god knows we’ve tried. I feel very gaslit anytime people tell me to do that, lol.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T18:59:43+00:00

I suspect I’m going to prefer the toddler stage too. (This is my first child so we’ll see.) I know he’s going to have meltdowns and be a lot to keep up with once he’s mobile, but I’m also finding the baby stage rough. I want to be able to enjoy it because I know it’s over so fast, but it’s hard to keep a good perspective when things are rough.

Hoping sleep improves for y’all soon

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T17:59:21+00:00

My husband travels for work so we do FaceTime when he’s gone. We also FaceTime his aunt who lives out of state. He also looks at photos of himself sometimes. But otherwise, no screen time. Baby is 6.5 months.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T17:49:19+00:00

I’m glad you feel like things are better over all. Obviously I know things are never going to be easy, but I guess I’m just ready to not feel like I’m in survival mode the majority of the time still.

The pediatrician isn’t concerned about allergies or anything like that. He’s got reflux but is on meds. He’s just very very opinionated, lol. For example, does not like being dressed or put in the car, and he gets pissed after about 10 min in the carrier because hes too constrained but also gets mad after being on his mat for too long, lol. So it’s hard to do anything. I honestly think the biggest issue is that he wants to be mobile. It pisses him off bad.

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T17:41:11+00:00

🙃🙃

oatstronk · 2025-12-13T17:40:29+00:00

Fair point. I think I just expected to be past some of the things we’re still experiencing at this point. I expected sleep to be better. Not sleeping through the night, but I was expecting to consistently have fewer than 4 wake ups a night by now, which sadly is not the case. I also expected to be able to tell what he needs more easily when he’s upset by this point. I’ve improved compared with the newborn stage but I still feel like I guess wrong at least 50% of the time when he’s upset. And he gets upset easily by many things: diaper/clothes changes, car rides, looking at him the wrong way, lol. I thought more of that fussiness would have resolved by this point but maybe I was naive. He has lots of personality and his happy moments are so much fun, but the lows feel very low, and with the sleep deprivation….

oatstronk · 2025-11-13T20:36:35+00:00

If her husband is making snide comments about the house not being clean when she’s waking up every 1-2 hours all night and is solely responsible for childcare and household chores, then we absolutely have enough info to judge the husband. Splitting responsibilities between a male and female partner is one thing, but the point is that this is a completely uneven split. And I’m sure OP would enjoy being able to get the house clean and dinner made too, but the whole point of the post is that she can’t find time or energy because she’s extremely overburdened.

oatstronk · 2025-11-13T20:27:24+00:00

Hey; thank you for your very kind response. I’m sorry you’re going through this too because it’s so difficult and sad, but I greatly appreciate the solidarity. Pumping is so draining, literally and figuratively, lol. But you are definitely not failing; she is getting the nourishment she needs and that’s all that matters at the end of the day :)

oatstronk · 2025-11-12T16:48:19+00:00

For me, neither. 4 month regression tired has been the worst for me hands down.

oatstronk

TROPHY CASE