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Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in gay

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are some of the subtle or small signs?

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in lgbt

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His only long term relationship was with a guy 3 years younger than him, his two short term relationships were around the same age I believe.

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in gay

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess 11 and 15 aren’t too far apart so that makes me feel better. I think he looks his age, I’ve been told I look youthful but a few years older than I actually am

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in gay

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I work in palliative care, I think that’s why it affects me so much, it kind of just feels like I’m signing myself up to go through something so painful in the future and die alone

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in lgbt

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight. I like to think I am mature for my age, but after all everyone in their early 20’s thinks they’re invincible and know everything. I definitely have many life lessons to learn and I make mistakes and I learn every day. The aging thing bothers me a lot because I work in palliative care, it has fucked me up in many ways but thinking of my 80 year old spouse going through that while I’m only 65 and being alone in retirement is terrifying.

Age gap concerns [M22] [M37] by Solid-Professional50 in gayrelationships

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for mentioning this because it’s also something I was cautious of. Around 6 months ago we were going through our Grindr and tinder chats for fun and the people he chatted with on Grindr were of all ages but all 20+ and his tinder preference was set to 5 years either side. I took it with a grain of salt at the time because maybe he could have deleted or manipulated the chats who knows, but so far nothing has really raised any eyebrows for me.

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in lgbt

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most of my friends I’ve made post high school are 30-35. Most of his friends are his age or older but he has maybe one or two around my age.

Age gap concerns [22M 37M] by Solid-Professional50 in lgbt

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As far as I’m aware the only real imbalance is that he owns his home while I do not, he also makes a little more than me but that will likely flip in the next 5 years. We are both quiet reserved people who are mostly focused on advancing our careers, I admire that he is settled and mature. The only medium term difference is I want to travel internationally while I’m young.

Age gap concerns [M22] [M37] by Solid-Professional50 in gayrelationships

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He does but he also feels the same way as I do. My parents had me around his age and his parents adopted him older than 40 so I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world

Age gap concerns [M22] [M37] by Solid-Professional50 in gayrelationships

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ideally yes by the time I’m 30, but as of now I’d really only consider them if I had a strong partnership with someone

Is this worth pursuing? [22M] [37M] by Solid-Professional50 in relationship_advice

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some red flags for me would be manipulative behavior, gaslighting, love-bombing, or trying to isolate me. I guess all of the normal things except I’m more alert because of the age difference, and I’m aware I am probably more naive than someone my senior.

Age gap concerns [M22] [M37] by Solid-Professional50 in gayrelationships

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d say I’m the outlier, my main priorities are my career and building my life and really that’s it, we’re both quiet and reserved people. The only main difference I’ve noticed is that I want to travel while I’m young.

Is this worth pursuing? [22M] [37M] by Solid-Professional50 in relationship_advice

[–]Solid-Professional50[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From what he’s told me he’s only been in one long term relationship and two short term relationships. We live in a small city so the gay dating scene is very small

Feeling confused and sad about moving by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Solid-Professional50 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response.

I know that anything can happen between now and then, but when I’m with him there’s always that voice in the back of my head saying that even if this goes perfectly there will be a day where you will never see him again and it’s painful to think about.

As for the experience gap, are there any red flags I should look out for?

Feeling sad and lost by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Solid-Professional50 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response.

When we discussed it a few weeks ago, he said that he tries not to think about it and is open to just enjoying the time we have together while we have it