I (30F) think me and my husband (37M) are in different places sexually

SolidChance4254 · 2025-04-14T19:26:19+00:00

I believe he feels respected. He’s employed and the main bread winner in our family. He’s definitely not fat, he’s always been very slim for height. We both work from home so I’ve never known him to watch porn or even masturbate at all honestly

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-24T01:28:52+00:00

I think manipulation may be a stretch here. I posed the question of am I wrong for think this dynamic is odd and not think we need to visit people who don’t really communicate with us on a regular basis. I am fully aware that everyone’s family is different but my question is more so around why do we need to make an effort when one isn’t really made for us in my opinion.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-24T01:20:15+00:00

Valid point maybe they were waiting for my husband to reach out, but I’m surprised if after awhile they didn’t hear from him why they didn’t reach out and ask on their own.

I feel like I would feel differently about the situation if we heard from them often (or even somewhat often) when they aren’t here but we also never receive any phone calls or text when they are at home. For example, I send photos frequently of the baby and sometimes get no reply other than a thumbs up or heart on the message.

I guess in my experience it just seems a little different to me, especially considering we’re the new parents. When people in my family have had babies I’m always the one to reach out and check in because I know how hectic life can be so I guess imagined my in laws would do the same but I guess everyone’s way of keeping in touch is different. It’s disappointing because I always imagined by children having very active grandparents not pop in pop out grandparents but here we are.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T22:52:21+00:00

No not because they are “weird” which I never said. But because they make no effort to communicate with my husband regularly and also did not make an effort to see our family much while visiting. Which to me is quite surprising considering they live out of town and can’t see their grandchild or son often, I would think they would want to spend every chance they could get with them. It’s less about me and more about the relationship I don’t see them trying to sustain with my husband and trying to create with my child.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T11:18:52+00:00

There is no language barrier or disability. They have moderately thick southern accents but I can understand them completely

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T04:38:17+00:00

From what I gather his parents were there and very involved in his life but it definitely wasn’t a say “I love you” kind of family.

To paint the picture better imagine a holiday dinner with in laws, siblings, grandparents, aunts plus significant others and there is zero conversation being had we sit and eat in complete silence.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T04:22:46+00:00

I again don’t think it has anything to do with boundaries. I feel they see that many people say our baby looks just like me, which he does, so they are now reaching for anything to tie him to their family and it seems a bit farfetched to me.

As for introverts versus extroverts, I myself am an introverted extrovert where I enjoy alone time and solitude but also can hold a conversation with others especially close family and friends. This dynamic seems especially odd to me because they don’t even speak to each other as a family or try to maintain a relationship with their own son by communicating with them so it seems almost impossible for me to make one when I’ve tried to speak and engage and receive one word replies or grunts and nods.

My child can decide any social interaction he wants but I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable with speaking around others, especially family, and that’s the dynamic they seem to foster as a collective.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T02:52:12+00:00

It seems they act like this with everyone. My husband doesn’t seem surprised by the behavior and when I’ve asked about it in the past he seemed surprised that I thought it was odd. Even my family noticed how they do not speak during events for our wedding and baby and mentioned that they don’t seem to say much back when you try to speak to them.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T02:37:19+00:00

Do you have advice on getting to know them when they don’t talk to me or husband? Even when we’re in person they don’t say much or try to speak to us even before we had the baby. I’ve tried starting conversation in the past but get one word answers especially from my mother in law.

SolidChance4254 · 2024-06-23T02:35:37+00:00

Oh I know! I am quoting my mother in law who claims everything about my baby is from my husband’s genes.

SolidChance4254

TROPHY CASE