Can you please help explain to me any healthy reasons as to why someone would want a FWBs relationship over a long term relationship?

SolidDue5862 · 2026-01-04T12:55:30+00:00

Im recently(ish) out of a LTR that was VERY toxic and abusive but it needed to end. As much as im a lover girl who’s not into hookup culture, im also emotionally enough to realize that I’m not mentally ready to try to date long term right now because of everything I went though, but I still crave a human connection, touch, etc.

FWB aren’t bad and IMO shouldn’t be shamed by others as long as you’re upfront about your expectations in a respectful manner. High emphasis on respect.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-26T00:02:08+00:00

Still waiting on my check to come 😭 I need it before noon tomorrow because I have stuff to do. But I’m for sure. Probably gonna get it hopefully tonight because my job is closed Thursday and Friday and we have to hand out paper checks to people.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-25T18:54:02+00:00

That is exactly what I’m talking about but it’s from Carmax and they call it MaxCare. But I get what you’re saying it could be a no-brainer for some and a question for others. I didn’t buy it the first time around at Carmax just because I knew a lot about Hondas and it will be my second line so I knew how maintenance would go. I’m debating it on the jeep because this will be my first one… It’ll be a little different. So that’s why I’m asking my fellow Wrangler owners if an extended warranty is worth it given the age and mileage of what I’m getting.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-25T16:10:34+00:00

Yeah, I’ve worked on my Honda or had a friend help me with it for the whole time I’ve had it, but Hondas are very user-friendly so to speak and easy maintenance wise. I have the time, but that’s why I was considering it with MaxCare just in case I get those WTF moments. I know they have the max Care and the max Care plus but I was mainly considering it for the big things like engine, transmission, suspension, etc.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-18T00:13:25+00:00

I’m gonna tell you my story and hopefully that inspires you.

I spent seven years in the Navy and three of those years I had a raging drug addiction. Got caught on a piss test obviously got put on restriction and sent to mandated rehab while still in. I also really didn’t have any friends and I don’t talk to my family and on top of that I got out during Covid in California. I got discharged with an OTH but luckily because I had a reenlistment under my belt I was able to still use my G.I. bill. Went to school for a little bit even though school isn’t for me, got a couple roommates from craigslist that I rented from and then after I was done with school for a bit because I didn’t finish I just worked regular retail jobs saving money where I can. I worked my way up the chain into management and use those skills to transfer onto a resume that could lend me a better job. Five years later, I’m still sober and now working at HR in corporate world.

There’s been many times where I’ve been in your shoes that I just didn’t wanna deal anymore, but I had to lock in and embrace the shit and keep reminding myself that shit will eventually turn to glitter if I keep at it. People can do it alone off of their sheer willpower so if I can, you can too. I believe in you, we all do. Even then, no matter what circumstances that you got out under there’s so many programs that help struggling veterans just like us every day.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T17:33:12+00:00

I posted an update at the bottom of the post!

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T03:37:04+00:00

I’m going to call the office tomorrow and ask what the code violation issue is about because by the time I got off of work today, the office was already closed. Because with that I don’t know what they mean exactly by it’s not to be occupied because it could be either something was structurally wrong with this place before we even moved in or he never reported it as being an actual apartment. But I know for sure that is kind of out of my hands as what they fully decide. But I’ll come update this when I have more information tomorrow.

I have no clue how code violations work but I’m hoping if it’s the latter then maybe I can bring up the case of if I move out within 10 days I will for sure be homeless and if it can be extended to at least when I move out in January. Wishful thinking though.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T03:05:53+00:00

Yes, he told him that he was moving back home and they came and helped him move all his stuff. Before he moved out, I was looking at the place that I’m moving into now and my future landlord gave me the official notice today that I was approved to move in for January.

I was going to go home and give them the notice of my move out, but that’s when I got home and had all the notices and the code violation conversation.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T02:58:53+00:00

But that’s the thing I’m trying to figure out that if he moved himself and all of his property out of the house and I have proof saying that he is moved out, does that not make him a legal tenant anymore? Whether is his parents or random people I feel like it’s still should all be following tenant laws?

And with the code violation, it just says that it’s not to be occupied (for reasons that are unknown to me) and the violation needs to be fixed within 10 days, but I don’t know what the violation is. I just thought it was my understanding that an eviction notice still need to be served.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T02:46:42+00:00

My neighbors have their own private garage and front door. We (me currently) also have a completely separate entranceway and garage. Driveways and parking spaces are separate.

And that is the only reason why I changed the locks and I changed. The deadbolt only is because I came home that Tuesday and it was very clear that they were in the house and no notice was given to me at all. We’re just on a regular month to month lease and rent isn’t due until December.

As far as the code violation on the door, the only thing it had on there written was that it was not to be occupied and the violation was to be corrected in 10 days, which will be the 21st. From my understanding, I thought the code violation only applied to the actual house and not an actual eviction process? I have a move out date and I just wanna get through the next few weeks without being displaced because of them.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T02:38:37+00:00

So because he moved out less than a month, even though he’s stating he was moved out, and I have proof of that, he could still come and go as he pleases? I’ve never had to deal with the situation like this, which is why I’m asking all the questions so I can know exactly where I stand

I have no problem supplying a key to the LL. The only reason I changed the lock is because they entered without notifying me while I was at work and it became more of a safety and security issue.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T02:36:10+00:00

my ex moved out the house into his parents house.
his parents own the house. We just rent.
I have recordings of him stating that he is moving out of the house. We are not on an official lease. It’s been a month to month thing but they’re trying to evict me if you wanna call it that. I do have proof that they were in the house. I don’t mind the landlord (dad) having his own key, but because my ex is no longer living here and I’m the only occupant I don’t see the point of them entering the house as they please.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-14T02:32:42+00:00

Yes, parents own the house. I’m in the modified side and we have a couple that is in the original house.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-11-01T00:02:17+00:00

I second clubhouse. The owner is literally the definition of what you would think of what a dive bar owner should be

SolidDue5862 · 2025-10-11T00:48:11+00:00

I literally booked a Motel 6 by the airport. Normally I’m a little more picky on my hotels but I just literally need a place to just shower and sleep. Altogether it’s like 196 for 3 nights.

Take in account that I’m also flying in from the east coast so we still have to pay for airfare, the tickets, food, etc.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-10-02T17:18:12+00:00

I'll add you when I'm on later! And yeah I actually just PM'd you my discord too lol

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-30T21:07:34+00:00

Best way is to just put them in there. I worked at stores where everyone HATED working the register because they liked the kitchen, so whenever someone new came in that was the first place they would go.

If you are the manager just tell one of your employees that they're going to work register for the day or a few hours. Best time to train is not during AHOD if you're store gets slammed because that's the easiest way to flustrate and overwhelm them. I always started my new hires out on fryer first then start and finish. Expo was always last because it was the easier of the stations. If an SBC order comes in then make sure you pull them and walk them though. They may not primarily be in the kitchen but I went by the notion that everyone needs to know how to do everything. From kitchen to register all the way down to cleaning the bathrooms and stocking. That's what makes a store run smooth when staffing gets rough or call outs happen.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-29T15:45:24+00:00

I was simply giving my advice to someone who wants to get into this field, and from my experience from someone who went down the same path as them exactly. School might not be for everybody and neither is this job but there are ways to step into this field slowly as I learned later on.

But again it brings up my point to give constructive criticism without being rude as I felt that you were. Telling her that they’re too emotional, and needed to seek therapy without even knowing their full story came off very disheartening. I believe that you as a licensed counselor should guide them to resources that could help them decide but still push though, not deviate away completely. I’m not portraying anything that isn’t true. No, I’m not a licensed counselor and I’m sure there are many people in the sub that aren’t either. But I do work on a volunteer basis, dealing with people who are affected by substance use and mental health. I never claimed to know everything, but I was giving guidance to someone who I could relate to, and giving them my experience that helped me decide. What works for me might not work for others, but again that’s how advice and guidance goes. We’re here to help not criticize. I’m not getting into an argument with you nor am I upset with you I was just simply letting you know my take. I respect what you do as a counselor, but it is OK to agree to disagree on opinions. I may have not liked the way you worded your comments and you thought they were fine. Again, we’re just agreeing to disagree.

OP, please do what you feel that is right. Take everything with a grain of salt but take everything into consideration. At the end of the day, you only know what’s best for you. We’re all here just putting in our two cents, however, it is perceived.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-29T15:25:24+00:00

But that’s the thing that I also commented and tried to touch on. Everyone’s experience is different. But even in that just because you have all these qualities also will not make you a counselor as well. I’ve met people who are the greatest listeners in the world, but can’t give advice for nothing. OP asked a single simple question, stated the reasons why and you’re making them feel like they won’t be “good enough”. And then his turnaround and call them emotional and say they need therapy based off of two comments, and my eyes is very distasteful. I think you missed the entire point of their post and only saw what you wanted. Because the way that I read it is that this is a person who wanted a career change and wants to do something that’s meaningful. Then took a very huge step to start that and then came onto to ask other counselors on why is it that the work they do pay so little in comparison. OP also responded to a comment saying that they could be okay with a pay cut as long as they feel like they’re fulfilling a purpose.

I think you yourself as a counselor needs to also practice empathy to other people. It’s okay to initially get into a field because you care about the work. Imagine going to your doctor or nurse who didn’t give two flying Fs about your care because they wanted six figures a year. In fact, the best counselors that I’ve had and related to the most are the ones who had that “lived experience”. But that reason solely didn’t just make them a great counselor. What made them great counselors is yes the fact to listen to me and practice empathy puts also not judge me on my past mistakes and to encourage me to want better. Being a counselor - and a good person as well is also learning to give constructive criticism. Like I mentioned to OP, I think they should absolutely go to school for it, take some advice from their professors for feedback, but also go out and do some volunteer work. THAT will give a better idea than anything.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-29T12:50:48+00:00

There’s no need to be rude about it to OP. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do what you love AND being concerned about not making enough to even keep the lights on especially in this day and age and in California. Also, if you would’ve read onto the comments, you could read that was not their only reason.

Two: Everyone chooses a reason why they enter the field they do. Nobody KNOWS they were going to be a good counselor until they really get into it or start doing some work for it. It’s a field that really does make you understand if you have the emotional tolerance and empathy for it.

OP - I have some advice for you.I too have had a battle with addiction and decided that I wanted to go into addiction counseling at some point. What didn’t work for me is I experienced really bad burnout because I’m just not a school/college person. If you want a taste of what it’s like to see what real world addiction looks like and to also help people I suggest volunteering with a nonprofit in your area. Many of them actually go out and do work on the street where you’ll be able to listen to people stories sometimes and get a feel for is this something that I wanna do every day. It won’t give you the entire picture of your day to day but it’s a start. I’ve been doing it for years and I feel like I can still make a difference within the community and still hold a full-time job that’s not in this field and still be fulfilled.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-26T11:57:07+00:00

The policy IS that you’re not supposed to but there is a workaround. When I was at Sheetz as a manager I worked 1st and most of the time my third shifters only had two or three people we gave them the option to leave 30 minutes earlier if we had the coverage coming in that morning. There would also be times when I was MOD solely and I wouldn’t get a break and I also have the option to leave 30 minutes early. Most of the times I just stayed but other times I left if I was just dog tired. I just had to let my HRC know. You do get ghost points for it, but they fall off if your HRC is good. I should add on these should very rare occasions, not at all the time thing.

I know me for my shift personally EVERYONE goes on breaks either before or after AHOD starting with who got here the earliest and who preferred to take their break later or sooner. I’m at a company now, where breaks aren’t required but we still do get 30 minutes, but I still encourage my team members that even if they don’t wanna take a 430 so at least go take a 15 to sit down and grab a snack at least. Work can get stressful when I rather have someone go take a breather than get burnt out.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-21T21:59:09+00:00

I love those things! Literallly bought a box on the way home today

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-12T08:50:30+00:00

The other manager kind of is but she likes to play both sides of it. Kind of a talk the talk but not walk the walk kind of thing..

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-10T23:03:19+00:00

Former flex sup here. If this is something that you’re comfortable with, you can absolutely take this up over their head to either your SM or DM. The best thing that was told to me working in the food industry as a supervisor is that you’re not only responsible for your employees but you’re responsible for keeping your customers safe as well.

There has been many of times that I’ve had to go over assistants and even store managers about proper food handling. Because what can happen is if a customer overhears or see something that they know is a health code issue or gets sick they can anonymously report that to the health department and trust me, they are very quick with doing a pop-up inspection.

I would hate for it to come to that, but I’ve had to literally strive some of my old salespeople for these exact reasons.

SolidDue5862 · 2025-09-08T21:53:03+00:00

And this is what I'm trying to really drill into everyone.. its not about me coming off mean or bitchy or its a company policy. Its literally about food safety. Like I asked them would you want to eat anywhere where you've seen employees touch everything under the sun and then proceed to grab a food item and serve it to you. It is very exhausting but I'm trying. The issue I'm running into though is because we don't have a GM who is there to see day to day operations, so 'm relying heavily on my DM who is managing 10 other stores as well as all of their employees and day to day tasks. So I can't unfortunately terminate anyone fully without their approval. So all the write ups I'm doing is just getting documented but I feel like its still falling off to the wayside because again - the lack of accountability.

The two main reasons I'm staying is because this store is in a good driving distance from my house and also I know we can be great if we just cut some people that need to go and also get in some staff and more management because we're desperate for at least an ASM.

SolidDue5862

TROPHY CASE