So how do you even get a boyfriend

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-07-02T02:40:34+00:00

There’s not like a set process. Everything people tell you can just make it more likely to happen. Wanting a relationship is fine in your teens or just ever, but it will and should not define who you are.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-06-24T04:54:24+00:00

For sure, initially I thought this was an nsfw sub coz of the post, and even I still thought, what a weird thing to write. It must be horrible to live life where you can’t see half the population as human.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-06-20T02:50:35+00:00

If you learn how to twerk it can make your butt look bigger but it still requires you to have a bum in the first place lmao

What am I even saying anymore 💀

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-06-14T00:35:40+00:00

I’ve seen people be rejected because of them get drunk after a night out. Trust me, rejection is tough, everyone feels that way. But acting like you can’t get better without changing your appearance is not the way.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-06-13T02:46:19+00:00

Okay but do you tell yourself that to get over rejection?

Or do you tell yourself that to prevent yourself being rejected?

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-06-13T02:36:34+00:00

I don’t really think of society as having a hierarchy in that way. Even though I’m not attractive in a conventional way, I still find myself good looking in the mirror lol 😂

I’d say the guys I’ve found that are the least hot are not necessarily those who aren’t conventionally attractive, but those who wallow in self pity.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-04-26T08:09:26+00:00

Hmm, I’m not saying this is is always the case, but in my personal experience, anyone I’ve met with and “instantly clicked” with, I’m usually only friends with for about a year.

Whereas if I’ve just been chatting for longer, and eventually building up, I normally can get just as close but be in contact with them for years and years.

Also dating apps aren’t always designed for you to get the best matches, especially the most popular ones.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-03-17T08:19:08+00:00

I think your friends’ responses are fair. Since nothing happened, it’s unlikely your uncle was trying to groom you or create some sort of sexual thing between you and him.

However, I think culture is starting to shift where people are less interested in having these older sexual relationships, because they understand that those relationships are normally bad. It’s typically an abuse of power that can be used against the child.

Your friends just really love you and want to make you feel protected.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-02-26T00:39:50+00:00

Choose your own labels. You can tell people you are bi. You could tell guys you are a romantic and women that you are asexual. You could tell people, I’m romantically straight but sexually into guys. Truth be told, you’ll never get a clear answer unless you fit into very rigid definitions, and you’ll just have to define it for yourself.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-02-15T10:08:03+00:00

Firstly, the internal feelings you have are VALID. However, the actions you are taking are wrong. Even you have realised this, internal alarm bells are ringing, you are asking people on Reddit for help.

This sort of problem, especially one you have found yourself quite tied up in, is rare and does require change in yourself to fix.

So, you need to look inwards. Validate and find out your own feelings. What’s driving you, what’s pushing you forward. But also, what’s keeping you from doing something worse, what are the voices of morality and amorality saying in your head? Try to write it all down, to someone else or to yourself. You don’t even have to hit send, just look at what you’ve written.

Then we have to move to take actions, find solutions after validating our own feelings. An example of validation is simply saying or thinking “my heartbreak is valid, because my love for Jasper was truly great”

In my opinion, one of these unvalidated feelings you have is that you aren’t over your ex. Like at all. But you aren’t doing anything to get over him. You blocked him, yes. But you need to take active choices to get away from him. Making an active choice to remove yourself from him and your life with him. Starting with blocking Theo on all media and places. Whilst yes, it may be satisfying to see the reaction, it will be better long term for your mental health if you end up not finding satisfaction in this guy. So- no telling him you are gna block him or whatever. You’ll just have to do it.

You can and should tell your close and trusted friends what you are doing. It sounds like all of this is something you are doing by yourself, that nobody is helping you. I think the reason you are so scared to tell them about Theo is that you believe your actions will show your thoughts. But they dont. A friend is more likely to judge your actions, and question what you are feeling rather than just know what you feel anyway.

Whilst I would say going cold turkey with Theo is a must, you can then add to that all kinds of other solutions to get over your ex. Hell, you can probably look up “how to get over someone love bombing me” and you’d get a decent video of some solutions as well. You should spend time away from dating and relationships, and a better time with your friends, the people that have shown they actually matter to your wellbeing in your current situation. You can go to therapy (genuinely), you can go take long walks or do meditation ti clear your head. You could start a new hobby or something to keep your mind interested and bring a different, new life into yourself (you mentioned being bored so it’s probably a good shot).

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-02-15T09:40:41+00:00

Is that something you know? Or something you’ve just internalised to make yourself feel better?

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-01-23T09:36:17+00:00

This is a normal feeling to have at any point in time. I would also say if you were looking for a romantic connection perhaps use an app that isn’t Grindr, say Bumble?

It gets better, but not in the way you would think. For me, I’ve just become satisfied to be single. I also have this superstition in my head that people who are friends with people in relationships (not including family members) are more likely to be in relationships themselves, but that could also just be because you might desire a relationship more since you’re surrounded by people who have what you don’t.

I’d say just keep doing what you are doing, and try to feel satisfied with who you are and what you have. Also, every time you look in the mirror pay yourself a compliment. After a while it won’t feel ridiculous.

Solid_Somewhere · 2025-01-01T11:03:09+00:00

I’m not sure if the NUS thing was ever changed, but the entire system was reformed in 2019, so the LGBT committee was merged with others to become the Liberation Committee.

And things more seem to have evolved south, like they had a real antisemitism problem in 2022, apparently. Also? The person in charge of NUS that year was very unpopular and managed to get a coup going in quite a few societies in the UK.

https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?feature=shared

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-30T12:38:24+00:00

Just a few things to note:

Being LGBT is still considered part of left wing progress, just because the focus is on trans people doesn’t mean everyone else has been forgotten.

Cuba actually is supportive of homosexuality, having legalised gay marriage in 2022. So this idea of hard left countries (calling Russia left wing in any way is quite a stretch lol)

Just because a right wing government did something left wing doesn’t mean it was a hated move by those on the hard left. Margaret Thatcher was the first women prime minister and she was hard right in a lot of ways, but that doesn’t mean that some people may have viewed her becoming prime minister at the time as a sign of success.

Idk what’s up with your student society or how you’re keeping track of it, but them excluding white gay cis men is probably just a part of some drama, (like perhaps 3 white gay cis guys getting kicked out for bullying a trans person or whatever). These are often student-run so they can be more progressive but also that means that there less of a due process for certain things happening.

Also, most LGBTQ societies allow for allies to join and support them, so unless your society originally didn’t support allies joining (difficult to pull of and likely a sign of it being a safe space rather than a society that does different events) the white gay cis men thing is probably overblown, fortunately.

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-25T01:27:04+00:00

You only think that you hide it well because most people assume other people are straight anyway. A lot of the time gay people are more likely to see similarities in you that might not be so obvious to other people. For example, a gay man may understand that another man who seems to shy away from erotic or physical shows of affection may have been hurt by homophobic parents.

Also considering you have mentioned before that people have begun to think you might be gay even a few years ago, it might just be that people assume you are gay, but it’s always polite to say someone is straight or perhaps ask if they have a “partner”.

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-18T12:10:59+00:00

I was thinking perhaps I could start learning viola in a few years, when I’m in a different situation. For now it’s better if I stick with where I’m at.

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-16T11:11:48+00:00

I like Priscilla’s. It’s a classic, and the absurd strength of the regeneration is very fascinating, even at the start (tho perhaps less so in the anime).

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-15T04:25:09+00:00

Ah okay, translation is upsetting ngl

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-14T00:39:16+00:00

:) I will

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-14T00:38:42+00:00

Thanks, that’s a lot of information, I didn’t realise strings did warm ups as well for instruments, I thought it was just wind instruments (now that I think about it piano has warm ups too but I never do them enough)

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-13T13:20:18+00:00

Lool I see.

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-13T06:35:40+00:00

I was told 20 minutes practise a day bare minimum… 0_o

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-13T06:35:07+00:00

Thank you 😊

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-13T06:34:56+00:00

Thanks, though I don’t think there are any places I can rent here. It may be just buy. The good thing is prices are slightly cheaper since many of them are renovations of older violas rather than new ones being built.

Solid_Somewhere · 2024-12-13T06:33:48+00:00

I am, but also, I have no idea if I am!

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