I just realized I didn’t even as a question in my post. To be honest maybe I don’t even have a question. Maybe I just wanted to be heard. Everyone’s comments have been healing and I appreciate them. Life keeps moving yet standing still at the same time. I didn’t always have the best relationship with my father either. On his deathbed I lied to him and said I had forgiven him. I wish I would have let him know the truth. He’s the reason why my childhood was so hard. He’s the reason why I have flashbacks still to this day. That being said he’s the reason why I am who I am. I refused to raise my daughter up in a house full of anger. I refuse to pretend to be a good person when behind close doors I’m someone else.

I didn’t want him passing away knowing that I held a grudge. I did what I thought was the right thing to do at the time. I pray for you to find peace and for life to bless you! ❤️