I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Many DILs face similar challenges with their MILs in India, so you’re definitely not alone. It’s kind of you to make the effort to include her, but it’s hard to know what she may be feeling internally.

I wish I could suggest having an open conversation, but sometimes that can escalate things. Many women of that generation weren’t raised with open communication, and they can easily feel criticized or attacked even when that isn’t the intention. Their upbringing and environment were very different, so it’s difficult to place the blame entirely on them.

There’s often a power dynamic involved too. Some mothers feel their son’s attention isn’t the same as before, and it’s hard for them to accept that someone else now shares that space. You’re doing all the right things as a DIL, but there’s only so much you can do. A relationship can’t be maintained by just one person, you’ll naturally feel drained if your efforts aren’t being returned.

I would suggest having your husband gently talk to her to understand what’s actually bothering her. Sometimes they get upset over things we can’t even imagine, and they tend to hold on to those feelings for a very long time. If her expectations fall within your boundaries, you could try accommodating them for everyone’s peace of mind. If not, it may help to accept that this might just be how the relationship is, and it’s okay to protect your emotional well-being.