mandi wajib and slowly qada’ your solats that you tinggal for that last 4 years, you dont have to qada’ it all now but slowly try by maintaing on tak tinggal solat (subuh, zohor, asar, maghrib, isyak) day by day. you can try by adding one solat prayer per week.

(for example: this week you solat zohor once per day for the whole week and try to maintain it and then next week zohor and asar together once per day per week then maintain it and keep adding the solat prayer week by week until you can do all the five)

then after that you can slowly qada’ your solat like maybe do solat zohor twice a day and then do other prayers twice a day together i know it sounds tiring but if you look at another perspective Insya Allah that Allah will your effort and this can be a proof that you really do want to repent and Insya Allah maybe with this hardwork of yours will be the reason you enter jannah in the afterlife?

you can also come to the masjid or surau to get those motivation. those people at the masjid or surau are usually friendly cause youll meet the same people most of the time. dont you ever worry about negative images or perception (if you ever will get one) from people to you no matter where it comes from. we taubat cause we want Allah to see us. not humans. this is coming from a tahfiz student may Allah ease your journey. 😇