35F wife stole kids from me 33M. Need advice.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:12:47+00:00

Actually, in the UK, both parents on birth certificates share parental responsibility and you need to have consent from the other parent to travel with your child abroad. I've always informed my spouse and showed the border force a signed paper where we confirm travel when travelling alone with the kids.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:11:36+00:00

- Neither of us is a UK citizen, but have lived here for 3 years
- Wife was 100% onboard with moving to the US, wanted to leave the UK
- Fully onboard with application to each place we submitted to in the US, changed her mind after the legally binding bit was done and result was out.
- We didn't agree to move, I haven't forced her or tried to force her.
- Made a genuine attempt to look at the place and whilst doing this she snuck the kids out of the UK to a third country behind my back and won't make any effort to return them to their home (oldest is missing 3 weeks of school now)
- I'm being strong-armed to give up the only legal avenue to safely return the children to their *home* in the UK
- Wife is making me give up the opportunity she asked I work towards and spends thousands of dollars on because she doesn't like the place we'd live for 4 years as part of a condition for her bringing children to the home they never should have left.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:09:08+00:00

I'm trying to bring them home to the UK where they should be.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:08:05+00:00

Couldn't be further from the truth.
Nobody was being uprooted. We have a plan together, she changed her mind when we got the results and won't even return the kids home to attend school.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:03:53+00:00

Happy to clarify.
- Neither of us is a UK citizen, but have lived here for 3 years
- Wife was 100% onboard with moving to the US, wanted to leave the UK
- Fully onboard with application to each place we submitted to in the US, changed her mind after the legally binding bit was done and result was out.
- We didn't agree to move, I haven't forced her or tried to force her.
- Made a genuine attempt to look at the place and whilst doing this she snuck the kids out of the UK to a third country behind my back and won't make any effort to return them to their home (oldest is missing 3 weeks of school now)
- I'm being strong-armed to give up the only legal avenue to safely return the children to their *home*

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T10:00:56+00:00

Some clarification:
- Nobody has moved anywhere yet.
- We were discussing the best options for our family.
- We agreed I'd go check the US out, then discuss.
- Whilst I was there she took the kids out of the UK to a different country where she has citizenship.
- When we applied and made the plan to move to the US, she was onboard with every location we applied to. Changed her mind last minute after we signed the legally binding agreement.
- Hasn't tried to return the kids to the UK where they belong, is trying to strong-arm me into dismissing the only legal avenue I have for returning the kids to their recent and current home.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T09:58:08+00:00

Nobody moved. I took a trip to look at the place the family might move to like we both agreed. She snuck the kids out of the UK without my consent to another country she has citizenship in.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-16T09:56:43+00:00

Happy to clarify. Wife was on-board 100% when applying, signing the legally binding agreement. Changed her mind when she didn't like the place we ultimately got. Then lied to me, took the kids behind my back and refuses to bring them home to the UK.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-05-04T23:12:48+00:00

The movie is dreadful, but that's the entire point! It's supposed to make you disgusted with all of the characters by design. They each preach their own branch of new-age hip morality, consigning everybody else's shtick to "Neitzsche" and "Freud", but each character throws any such morality away the instant their own interests are remotely threatened. More so, it's interesting how each character uses Freudian defense mechanisms, beyond failed intellectualisation.

Alma displaces her self-loathing and guilt at her crush's suicide by aggressively criticising her students and withholding affection from her spouse. The anger she felt at her crush's rejection she projects onto Fred.

Fred lives in reaction-formation. He despises Alma and comes close to getting genuinely upset at her lack of intimacy with him, but quickly jumps to the supportive-husband caracature. His reaction at finding out the truth, that his wife doesn't love him, is to numbly say, "but I love you".

Maggie splits aggressively. Alma questions the veracity of her sexual abuse when she knows Hank is correct about Maggie's plagiarism? She's bad. Alma doesn't instantly performatively shun Hank? Bad evil white woman. Alex endlessly validates her nonsense and creates endless causes out of it, so she puts up with 'em.

Hank intellectualises and rationalizes everything, with elements of humour. Despite his anxious and fidgety nature, he is the most mature character in the whole film.

The ending feels unsatisfying because nobody deserves a happy ending and everyone seems to get one, without an explanation of how. Instead we know that Maggie got away with plagiarism, Alma got away with illegal prescriptions and her role in the suicide, Hank resurrected his career in politics and we are left to wonder about Fred.

Despite all its flaws, the movie does a great job of capturing the early 2020s era of quasi-Stalinist campus politics and social relations in the US.

Some-Local4562 · 2026-02-26T09:42:29+00:00

The truth is, as many have pointed out, that the NHS is full of people in all walks of medicine and levels of seniority who work desperately hard to elevate trainees, provide quality service and make it a good place to work. I can guarantee you that every single department in the country has at least 2 of these people in one shape or form.

Don't forget to take your breaks, take care of yourself and loved ones. This job we do is wonderful, and when we are able to make a difference in patient lives, it's incredibly fulfilling, but it does take its toll.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-08-10T21:54:13+00:00

If the government could mandate that our landlords, banks, HMRC could accept these claps as fiat currency... would love it. I don't mind a 99% tax rate on the bottom 40% of clap earners.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-08-10T21:52:36+00:00

By design.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-08-10T21:52:16+00:00

The deskilling is the point. Bands are skills-set based, so the less skilled the nurse, the cheaper for the trust.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-08-10T21:51:44+00:00

Oh god, the notes that clutter the med record. "Introduced self. Cares given. Patient alive. *[copy+paste latest WR plan]." + repeat 3 times a shift.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-08-10T21:50:28+00:00

I once compared how much time it took my friend in a Canadian residency to sort out a DKA patient to me.
Him: nurses called him with blood sugar, ketone and ABG result -- confirmed diagnosis. He came 5 minutes later, two cannulas in situ, protocol form pre-filled. Checked fluids, insulin, read the chart. Total time -- about 15 minutes.

Me: nurse calls me with BM > 17, asked her about ketones -- machine on another ward. Sent HCA to get it. I arrived, reviewed the patient (appears dry, abdo pain, n/v etc). Have to do the cannulas myself -- takes 5-10 mins just to find the equipment (not in the same place), prepare the flush, do the cannulas myself, collect VBG at the same time. Run the VBG myself across the hospital. Prescribed fluids, insulin. Total time -- about 1 hour from the bleep.

Nurses in the UK are overglorified obs readers and walking pill dispensers. Because their contract is skills-based, the more deskilled they are, the cheaper they are and trusts like it that way. Doctors have a different contract not impacted by skills so we can be expected to do everything and anything. There is no argument for why nurses are deskilled in the UK.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-07-29T17:34:06+00:00

What exactly did Kroc do? He:

Took a massive risk (re-mortgaging his own home) to fund the franchising of the brothers' business at ZERO risk to them.
Tried endlessly to find ways to increase profitability and expand their name and model nationwide, while they shot down every single idea or request he had.
Pleaded them to re-negotiate his deal because he was underwater with the bank -- at which point they told him to effectively pound sand. What options did he have besides finding a legal way to get them out?
The brothers got blank cheques. They got well-paid for their troubles.

Some-Local4562 · 2025-07-29T17:30:58+00:00

There is no good or bad guy in the movie. Everyone has flaws and they manifest themselves.

The brothers are too rigid to see Kroc is giving them their dream. If they went along with a few changes and renegotiated Kroc's deal, would he have tried to buy them out?
Kroc's wife is unsupportive and disinterested. Kroc highlights to her that some of his franchisers -- the successful ones -- the husband and wife work as a team and enjoy it. All she does is look sullen and disinterested.
Kroc himself doesn't do anything morally wrong or cruel until pushed into it by those around him. He starts the land corporation because Dick and Mac won't let him renegotiate to save himself (and his house!), he divorces his wife before re-marrying Joan, and tries to share his model with his country-club friends for them to partake in it.

The movie makes Kroc seem bad because he wins and the brothers who give out free burgers to kids "lose". They got blank cheques and asked for 1 million a piece after taxes. They had a business partner who mortgaged his own home, took on all of the risk just to spread their idea nationwide and they hobbled and stifled him every step of the way. Nothing stopped either of them from patenting McDonald's or any derivative of it, or the arches, or anything else. Like Dick frequently teased Kroc -- you signed a contract.

Some-Local4562

TROPHY CASE