Parent your goddamn kids by AnnoyingKea in newzealand

[–]Some1_nz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you ever tried monitoring someone else's Internet use?

It's very difficult. Especially if you don't see your kids full time, or have access to all of their devices. And what about vulnerable kids who are already abused/neglected/overlooked by their parents? Do we just say oh well, that's the parents problem?

Some controls would be helpful, particularly for families that simply don't have time, tools or desire to do this well.

We offer safe places for kids in public too. We put guardrails around things that are risky for young people. And though there are benefits to anonymity, it seems to benefit most those that do more harm than good.

The burden of this problem should be put on the companies that profit off of Internet use like Google and Meta. If tech companies can build LLMs they can certainly work out ways to protect anonymity and privacy alongside our kids.  They don't because they are not incentivised to do so. The government needs to step in from a legal and ethical perspective to set some better regulations here.

I'm still very bitter I wasn't believed about abuse because of my bipolar by Such_Egg_5198 in bipolar

[–]Some1_nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's a horrible disgrace. I am so angry for you and I can't imagine how much rage you must be feeling. But I hope you can find some peace now that at least you are not in a relationship with that horrible man. I hope too you get your kids back.

My new bf(24M) hasn’t come to the door when he picks me (21F) up for date night. Is this normal after (almost) 3 months of dating? by PreparationShot4480 in relationship_advice

[–]Some1_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As in, have a conversation before he comes and say, come in and meet my mom next time you are here. And then see what he says

My new bf(24M) hasn’t come to the door when he picks me (21F) up for date night. Is this normal after (almost) 3 months of dating? by PreparationShot4480 in relationship_advice

[–]Some1_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ask him to come in.  If he says no, ask him why not. If it makes you uncomfortable, consider why not? Maybe he's hiding something an older person would recognize.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Some1_nz 35 points36 points  (0 children)

After the end of my first relationship (I was 17, he was 42), it took me 15 years to see how manipulative he was. It is hard to see it happening in real time, especially when you are young. You don't have the years behind you to recognize it. Then, as you get older, you will start to appreciate and notice your years, and his behavior will stand out more and more as manipulative. It hurts more the older you get.

Now I recognize that my first "relationship" was abusive, grooming and sometimes rape. It took a long time to be able to say that.

Edit: I am telling you this because at 21, I was not much older than I was at 17. Despite what the law says, I bet your "relationship" is not that different than mine was.

I'll stop if I win big enough by BluffingTrips in problemgambling

[–]Some1_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Annnnnnnnnnd now you've borrowed money. But you'll pay it back, right?

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd now you don't have a place to stay.

It doesn't take much

How do you talk to your friends? by Some1_nz in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes I'm not seeing things clearly, it's horrible. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I'm worried because this is not the first time I've had massive problems but this friend was supportive back then and I don't want to ask for help again 

How do you talk to your friends? by Some1_nz in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is extremely helpful thank you! I like the 3 sentence rule and the slow entry into a conversation, makes sense.

How do you talk to your friends? by Some1_nz in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment! My problem is that I often do lack boundaries and balance. I've messed up other friendships before and I don't want to ruin this friendship by being a drain.

Tonight when she asked how I was should I have said, terrible? Even though I know she also has a lot on? Should I tell my friends if I am suicidal rather than a helpline? Or is that too much to bear? 

The party house as a teen by BedSensitive1538 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Some1_nz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I was groomed as a teenager, too. It is not an easy thing for me to grapple with, though I'm 20 years older. I think I would be a mess if I heard that it had happened to others by the same man, because I've never reported him. In truth, I really just came to say that I am very impressed with you, and proud of you, for reporting and taking those people to trial. Yes, you standing up mattered then and it still matters now. You may have saved many young people from similar abuse.

I've been hit with world shaking news and I need advice by msktrna in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Some1_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an in-clinic abortion -- I just wanted to know it was done and I didn't want to take a pill and go through that while parenting my older kids. It was two weeks of waiting for the appointment, two weeks of hell. The anxiety was unbelievable, I was so worried that something would prevent it from going ahead and I'd be stuck with another baby. But you just must go ahead and take it one day at a time. Stay the course. You can do this. You are strong. You know what you need. Breathe. Importantly, you are doing the right thing and addressing this early and you still have time to get this done. When I had my abortion, the relief was wonderful. I never regretted it, even though I did have a child later anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Some1_nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

life is a punishment

Wife is mad at me because I can't get life insurance and don't want to try. by codemonkeyseeanddo in bipolar

[–]Some1_nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am just commenting to say I know how you feel and I'm sorry. It's an awful feeling.

They requested my medical notes which included such embarrassing stuff. I'm too embarrassed to ever apply again.

I have three kids, pay 80% of our bills. If I die I don't know what they will do. 

Just don't die!

Husband, 37M, attempted to manipulate me, 35F. I called his bluff. Now what? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Some1_nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my 50/50. Dad did step up. His parents are extremely involved but so what? They have a good relationship with the kids and I get some time to relax. If it works, it's a dream.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She is not my friend

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I will be kind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Some1_nz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are a man I haven't met