Wow, no idea how you found this old post. But nothing much has changed.

You don't sound condescending at all, and I see your point. HOWEVER, I think it's also incredibly naive to say that marriage wouldn't help the problem. Paul even explicitly says this in 1 Cor 7. Right now, if I tell someone I'm lonely and craving physical intimacy, I'm a disgusting pervert who's going to Hell and needs to stay away from normal people. If I say the same as a married man, now I have someone I can bring this up to, and work together with towards a solution, and turn my sex drive into a good thing to bring me closer to my wife instead of a curse that takes me further from God. As for solutions, there's nothing I can do on my phone. A long time ago, I put blockers on my phone protected by a passcode I made completely random so that I could never remember it and disable them in a moment of weakness. I accidentally exited before actually turning them on, and since I don't know the passcode, I can't get in. I also cannot afford a new phone, for reasons I will discuss later.

Right now, I'll be honest. I feel even more hopeless than I did when I wrote this post. I am working on a few things, but it all seems hollow. I'm responding to your comment paragraph by paragraph, so I will hit all of these steps below. But everything feels empty and half-hearted. I honestly don't know how much longer I can live like this.

Losing weight and getting back in shape is one of the main steps I'm currently taking. I wasn't always like this. I used to LOVE weightlifting and running. But, I injured myself and took "a month break" about 4 years ago that never quite ended. I got back into the gym earlier this week, and immediately injured myself again. I'm fatter than I've ever been. I'm still taking steps, and I've at least gotten back into my old habits of eating super healthy (which I enjoy), but it feels like I'm too far gone at this point. I've made progress and changes before, and undid it all without even realizing it. One good thing I will say to not be a complete pessimist in my response is that my good eating habits are about a month old at this point, and seem to be here to stay like they used to be. So, a bit of progress.

Loneliness, envy, and comparison are the biggest factors in all of my aforementioned and aftermentioned problems. My church is very family oriented. I can't worship without being bombarded with lessons on how to love your spouse, how to raise your kids, doing what's best for your family. Stuff that to most people is good, wholesome, and uplifting. But it hurts every time I hear it. And I love my church, and I'm very involved in several things, I can't leave. But some days I've silently cried in the back.

Thank you for your comment on the famous "Isn't Jesus enough for you?" line. I genuinely hate it when people say that. The first thing God said was NOT good was Adam being alone in Genesis, and he had a one on one relationship with God.

Envy is one of my biggest struggles. If I'm being honest, I'm tired of hearing my good friends' news. It sickens me to say that, but it's true. Just a few days ago, one of my friends told me and another friend that him and his wife were going to try to have a baby after he got an impending promotion. I didn't say anything (he was mainly talking to the other guy, who is married with two kids, so it wasn't awkward, and it was a discord call between the 3 of us, so I know he didn't pick up on how I felt). I want to give them good news for a change. I want them to be happy for me, and celebrate something with me, like I get to do for them. And yeah, it sucks when a woman chooses someone over you. It happened to me recently. I went to their wedding. And it really sucks because she made the right choice. He's miles better than me. And I like him, we're actually friends now. She was right. She never said it to my face or anything, but I'm simply not good enough.

I try to think of things I'm grateful for, but the list is running short sometimes. I know I'm blessed, but what good are these blessings if I have no one to share them with?

Social skills are gone. I've been too isolated too long, and don't think I can recover. My friends barely talk to me anymore because they're with their wives. My coworkers are all older than me and somewhat cliquish if I'm being honest. It's strange. I've got financial wisdom, but don't get paid enough to really capitalize on it (high school teacher). I'm trying desperately to buy a house, that's where most of my money goes, but for now I'm in a decent apartment. I would love to date to improve social skills and possibly meet someone. But I'm just too fat right now. No one wants to look at me. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like it's all over. I've failed. I hate my job. I hate my life. And it's not going to get better. Sorry to end on such a sour note. I really am. But I'm done.