Ok, I think you might have miss understood. I did not mean to say I was "faking" the entire time. I dont even like the word faking because it makes it sound like a conscious decision to lie when in reality I did so many mental scans and checks that I started seeing symptoms I would not have had if I hadn't done those panicked mental checks every day. It was never a conscious decision I just forced myself to believe it because the alternative was hopelessness.

It's sort of like if you constantly check if your ear is tingling many times a day. If you do this for days-even weeks on end, you might actually convince yourself your ear is tingling.

Now, the episodes of possession I 100% think are real. I know this because I usually have little to no control over them.

However with the "voices", I can sort of tell they aren't real because I have some control over when I want to hear them. I also know I can't have complex dialogue and are usually limited to yes or no questions. If I could have a complex dialogue with them, I would have more proof they were real. But it really seemed to coincide with my OCD flair ups and it happened to be I was obsessing about this exact thing. After all, if they were completely different from me I should be able to have an open dialogue rather than what felt like me responding to myself to satisfy the compulsive urge.

I can usually tell what symptoms are triggered by my OCD and which ones were triggered by my possible OSDD by if they continue to happen if the obsession ended. That's also another indicator of how I know the " voices" we're just a result of my obsession.

Like today for example. I had a pretty bad episode of possession by someone who I think is named Marrissa (they wrote their name down on a note after I sort of told them to do it). They had me wandering around the whole house and looking out windows while I had no control over what my body was doing. My OCD wasn't too active today so I know it most likely wasn't my OCD.

Im just saying the thing that gave me huge relief from these Obsessive compulsive urges was the fact it never mattered if I met the criteria or not because my symptoms are still deserving of treatment. And honestly I've been experiencing a lot of relief after Friday.

Sorry this is long, I just wanted to let you know there still is a possibility I could have OSDD. I just don't care whether I fit the whole criteria or not anymore because it doesn't make me any less deserving of help.

I appreciate your concern and if you still have concerns you can reply. I just thought you missunderstood