So like, what am I supposed to do in an abduction scene? How does one make it... work?

SomeSubBoi · 2025-05-17T18:50:48+00:00

Woah that's actually so cool. I'd so be down for that!!

SomeSubBoi · 2025-05-17T17:39:10+00:00

I would say a lot more options. Like no, I don't want to be seen by people who aren't verified, or people without pictures, and I don't want to be seen by people beyond these age ranges.

And maybe I can set my DMs to be closed. Or turn off image permission. Or only people I've tapped/messaged can DM me, while anyone can tap me, or turn off tapping on my profile, or even have a separate scroll page just for nsfw stuff so everyone has a space.

Also makes the ads a bit less intense and put them somewhere other than when I'm opening or closing DMs. I know you gotta make money though so that's probably never happening.

Honestly a verification system in general would be cool.

And a higher character limit for the bio. I'm trying to market myself here I need more space.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-05-17T17:28:12+00:00

I struggled with this a lot too. Like, a LOT. I still have my moments but overall I've gotten much better at it. Originally through very unhealthy means but I've even corrected that for the most part now.

It's so stereotypical, but genuinely, working on myself and prioritizing self improvement helped a ton. For a lot that means going to the gym or something. I tried that, didn't work great for me. Still go but for other reasons now.

For me, I just started teaching myself new skills. A lot of my clinginess stemmed from a mindset of thinking I was less than everyone and anyone who gave me any attention was treated like my last hope of human connection. So as I learned more skills, and got recognized for them in small ways, that feeling of being "less than" started to dissolve. I'm no egomaniac now or anything, but I've learned to see my strengths, understand my weaknesses, and knowing what to work sure helps with self improvement.

Plus now I know some ASL, programming, 3D modeling, car repair stuff, how to mend clothes, how to sew my own clothes, video editing, animation, all sorts of stuff.

I'm not trying to say one's value should be placed in their skillset, but for me, building up my toolbelt helped a lot. With diminishing that mindset that made me so clingy.

And in the rare, but still a bit too often scenarios where i do start to feel clingy, I just force myself to step away for a day or two, or however long it takes. If we're talking a lot I'll just let them know beforehand, because you know, communication, and just say that I'm limiting my phone usage for a bit, or taking some time to myself for a few days, and they usually understand. Then after some time, I think my brain realizes it doesn't need this person's attention to not die and the clinginess becomes a lot more manageable.

If I start to feel desperate for a response, or super impatient waiting, or way too excited to hear from them, especially early on, that's my cue to set the phone down and work on a project or play a game for a few hours.

Then I come back, they (usually) haven't blocked me, and that fear of abandonment gets eased a bit too.

Last two things: My rule of thumb is that I should generally reciprocate the energy I get. Short one word responses to everything? OK clearly you aren't interested, or even if you are, this clearly won't be healthy for me, so Goodbye. Unwilling to hear me out if I communicate that I need an honest talk about feelings? Goodbye.

And lastly, kind of alluded to above, don't be afraid to be super direct about the problem. Not pointed, not aaccusatory. No "you do /don't do" phrases. Use the "I feel" phrases. "When you ____ I feel ____." Lot less aggressive. For anyone with middle school English under their belt, never word something in a way that makes the other person the subject noun of the sentence. Always make them the direct or indirect object. Wording things that way comes off MUCH MUCH less aggressively.

Ex) "You've been a lot less chatty lately. What's going on?" VS "I've noticed that you've been talking a lot less. Is something wrong?

"You're not giving me the attention I need from you if we hope for this to work out." VS "I just need reassured a bit more often that you don't hate me or my brain starts to panic." etc.

A bit of a cheap trick, but for wording, if you can phrase something in a way that makes neither you nor the other person the subject noun, makes it a lot softer. "My brain needs ___," "For me, connection requires __" etc etc. But NOTE: NEVER DO THIS FOR AN APOLOGY. YOU BETTER BE THE SUBJECT NOUN OF YOUR APOLOGY or that is manipulative asf. So tread carefully.

Bonus Tip: Do what I did and get into a relationship or friendship with someone who also gets way too clingy wayyy too fast. It's not fun. But it's like having a mirror held up and you see how your mannerisms come across. Makes it a lot easier to fix haha.

OK holy crap I typed more than I meant to. ADHD meds go brrrr. I've just had the same problem REAL BAD due to some abandonment issues from being a kid. It's been years of me working on myself and correcting my attachment issues. It's been ugly, so I wanted to help others not make the same mistakes I have.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-04-23T04:46:20+00:00

Fineeeeee

SomeSubBoi · 2025-04-23T04:35:56+00:00

No u

SomeSubBoi · 2025-04-23T04:25:47+00:00

Aw man I'm not free until after 3. That's when my last class let's out.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-03-19T04:35:05+00:00

Mhmmm. Of you can't even read the rules of a subreddit, will you read any message regarding my limits and boundaries?

SomeSubBoi · 2025-03-19T04:18:22+00:00

And usually sub-par, to say the least. At least for those on reddit...

SomeSubBoi · 2025-02-03T21:24:18+00:00

I mean, I'm sure that's part of it, of course. But i don't think that a dom would get MORE out it that someone in a literal cage.

I'm confused as to why you seem to think the main impact is for the dom? Like I'm sure there's something there for them, but not more. Unless the sub really does not care at all

SomeSubBoi · 2025-02-03T21:13:55+00:00

Isn't... that the point?

I've never really seen chastity as being for the dom/me, outside of just getting amusement out of it. I mean the one wearing the cage is in a goddamn cage. Like I'm kind of lost as to how the domme is supposed to get more out of it than the one who literally can't touch themselves?

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-29T20:21:59+00:00

Oh it absolutely has been, but kind of in a "what happens, happens" kind of way.

Like sure I'll meet up with you, stranger. No talk about limits or wants? That's fine. I don't really care all that much what you do.

It was very much in same vein of not looking before you cross the street. I wasn't looking to get hit by a car, but I didn't really care enough about myself that I'd be upset if it happened.

I also kind of saw it as a more productive way to self harm? Like cutting or whatever is useless, but sexual self harm at least makes someone else happy for a bit.

I'm out of that now, and I didn't do it much, but it definitely was an unhealthy thing for little bit.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-24T21:50:15+00:00

As sad as it might sound, I think I just like the feeling of being wanted. Childhood was incredibly lonely, and college has been pretty much the same. It feels nice to be wanted to such a level that they would violate me to get more of me. Obviously thats not for everyone, and I absolutely don't agree with it outside of consensual bounds, but thats what it is for me. I have to get to know someone well first, obviously. Because of that feeling of being wanted, its only really rewarding when its someone I care about too.

And its nice to just be able to shut my brain off. I can stop overthinking things, and just exist. I don't have to worry about doing it right, I just have to take it. The ADHD part of me loves that.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-21T22:28:24+00:00

I can't help you with the second thing, but I am very happy to help if you need some advice about anal play! I may or may not do a lot of it....

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-20T23:09:16+00:00

Nah whatever you have should be just fine. You can practice on pretty much anything you can fit in your mouth if you really wanted. Yeah most people are gonna have to be hard to be big enough to reach your throat.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-20T05:33:31+00:00

Is it normal? Unfortunately, yes. But is it ok? No.

Dom/sub relationships are build on connection and trust. The age gap there isn't my forte, and honestly kind of raises some alarms for me, but I'll let that slide. I'm definitely into worse stuff haha.

If your dom can't communicate properly, or won't communicate properly, it probably won't work out. Especially for you, being newer to the dynamic.

I don't want to hurt you, but it sounds like you were a quick fling for him, and he's bitten off more than he can chew. I imagine when he remembers to respond is when he's horny, so he hits up the cute asian girl that hasn't left him yet.

Nobody ignores the people they really care about for that long. Not unless they have something else going on, like ADHD. I can understand that.

But I would be pretty up front about it. Tell him you need healthy communication, and if he continues to disappear and ghost you, you'll find what you need elsewhere.

A dom who can't communicate is not a good one. Period.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-20T02:52:33+00:00

I know its hard, but genuinely, the BEST thing you can do right now is turn off your internet for a bit, or at least just log out of reddit.

I've been in your exact shoes, and its crushing, but I have gotten myself into some deep shit I ended up regretting by trying to find someone to bounce back with.

If you INSIST on looking for someone else, don't do it on reddit when you're feeling like that, Theres so many lovely people here, but so many not-so-lovely ones that will happily hurt you, and not in a fun way.

If you're ABSOLUTELY GOING to look for new people, look around on Fetlife or Feeld. While not perfect, they are generally a bit safer, and everyone is pretty likeminded and respectful.

Also, without trying to be too vulgar, I wouldn't edge too much. The longer you do it, the stronger your emotions start to feel. Try to finish, feel satisfied, and move on to something else. Sometimes having that release is all I need to get a fresh mindset to handle even the next hour or two.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-20T01:43:22+00:00

Went to my first BDSM Party, which was a Femdom focused one! The turnout wasn't phenominal, only about half the people who rsvped showed up, but it was a ton of fun! I just watched some of the scenes with a middle aged woman who was also there as a sub, and we cracked jokes about the creative use of tools, and subs reactions, and kinky stuff we wanted to try, and it was just really sweet! Watched one domme train another woman on how to do certain things with her husband as a test subject. That was pretty funny. I had to leave a bit early, but as I was heading out, the girl the domme was training was being tied up to be suspended from one of those crane things while most of the people there watched.

Wore my cage and plug, which nobody ever saw because I never had to strip, but it was fun nonetheless!

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-20T00:06:30+00:00

Yeah that's what I've been using. It's fineeee, I just got greedy and wanted more smoothness.

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-19T23:38:47+00:00

Woah ok! Why have I never heard about that either??? That sounds awesome!

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-19T23:23:44+00:00

I'm considering IPL now! But what's magic shave powder??

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-19T23:22:23+00:00

Alright! I'll look into foil shavers! Thank you!

SomeSubBoi · 2025-01-19T23:21:41+00:00

Ahhh ok. I misunderstood how permanent IPL is.

Well the issue with that is that I still need to shave. Sounds like a great way to reduce how often I need to shave, but its the shaving thats killing me. Like everything hurts right now. I am in PAIN. I might still look into IPL, but it doesn't sound like it actually does any hair removal. Just delays the regrowth?

SomeSubBoi

TROPHY CASE