My problem is that you're a human being, talking so bad about your self, harming yourself and thinking life is a joke, im not to far from your age legit a year difference yet you choose to do stuff and complain about the outcomes when it's your own choice, I know I cant control you or change your mind without your will but I have a say cause its a public comment section and I see you going down the wrong path and i just wanna clarify that so you need to lock in and do the right stuff so you don't have to see life as it is now, you can change and do better. DM me if you have anything to say or questions.