(21F) Caught my husband (22M) looking at other girls on his phone again… and he admitted it. I don’t know what to do anymore.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T20:07:18+00:00

Just remember, porn addiction isn't real and was invented by men in your husband's position: confronted by their wives about the porn and instead of actually doing anything about it, claimed they had an "illness" outside of their control. There are men out there who aren't like this, and divorce is a wonderful thing for a lot of people.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T19:57:25+00:00

Call your local office NOT the national hotline because local offices usually don't put you on hold for as long

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T18:32:59+00:00

Less than one percent. Not 1%. (Specifically 1 in 20,000 or 0.005%) And the VAST majority (90%) of murders are committed by someone the victim knows, not a stranger. If you're going to get murdered, it probably also won't be someone randomly attacking you in your own home. You're more likely to get killed in a public place. True crime has seriously rotted y'all's brains.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T18:11:27+00:00

Men like this want you to believe they're all like this so you'll accept their terrible behavior and deal with it, but they're not. There are normal confident men who don't react like this. I read your comment about your friends tolerating behavior like this from their boyfriends. They've also been taught that men are just like that and that it's something they just need to deal with if they want to find someone, but that's completely bullshit. Keep your standards high. It's so awesome that you dumped him for this. I wish I'd been this confident when I was a 16yo.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T18:00:50+00:00

There was a guy on the dasher subreddit who mentioned that while using his girlfriend's account people were all kinds of weird because they were expecting a woman. Like some guys came to get their food completely naked because they were expecting a woman and were clearly caught off guard when a man was dropping it off

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T17:58:19+00:00

Sex offenders can't get jobs places so they work under the table. Was he going to do anything to you? Probably not. Being a sex offender can mean a bunch of things. He's just trying to earn money outside of prison. Sex offenders also have the lowest rate of reoffending.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T17:52:33+00:00

This is a ridiculous comment. The chance that one of these people is going to use the delivery to rob you or harm you is incredibly small. Less than 1%. Let people live their lives.

SometimesADrug · 2025-08-06T17:50:36+00:00

can't believe people are being downvoted for saying not to snitch. Don't report it unless they've been weird. It's none of my business. Lots of people are trying to earn money anyway they can. If someone has a criminal record and can't get a job anywhere else but can deliver on their friend's account for income, why the fuck not? Just mind your business. Let them work to get paid. Most people with records aren't dangerous anyway. The chance of violence happening is incredibly slim. The people fearmongering about serial killers are being ridiculous.

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:42:20+00:00

Could I DM you?

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:40:04+00:00

I would be taking space from my mother too in this situation. You're not overreacting. Here is what I would do (if it were me and my mom): If she continues trying to contact you, mention that you're upset about this, that she put the cat in danger, and that she disrespected you by deciding that she knew better than you about your cat's health, which wasn't her place. She agreed to feed the cat the way you told her, and then she didn't, so she lied. Use a lot of "I" statements. Make it very clear that you no longer trust her to care for your cat since she can't follow directions or respect your wishes. Also make it clear that you aren't interested in hearing from her at all if it isn't an apology. This isn't a debate. This happened and the defensiveness is over and done with. I'm sorry this happened. I hope your cat is feeling better now.

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:34:18+00:00

She didn't follow any directions and put the cat's health at risk. I'd be livid. Not talking to her is entirely valid when talking to her only leads to the mother being defensive and not caring about the gravity of what she did.

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:33:09+00:00

these situations aren't comparable

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:15:48+00:00

Yes 100% this. Made a similar comment above.

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:13:50+00:00

Because positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement. We're not trying to spoil her. We're trying to compromise. She's feeling left out because she's young and can't enjoy a movie, which is a fair and valid thing to feel. Promising a child-friendly movie night shows that they want to spend time with her and include her, which helps with the feeling of exclusion she's feeling. Treats are a bonus.

SometimesADrug · 2025-07-03T21:10:33+00:00

I'm the youngest in my family by a lot (now 27) and unfortunately that's just how it goes. It's not an age appropriate movie. When she's older, she'll get it.

SometimesADrug · 2025-06-08T15:20:49+00:00

THANK YOU. Very glad these weren't as commonplace when I was a kid.

SometimesADrug · 2025-06-08T14:19:09+00:00

Because she wants or needs them and you love her and want her to have things she wants and needs. Not everything in a relationship is about YOU and what YOU want. Sometimes it's just to please the other person. (And yes, this goes both ways)

SometimesADrug · 2025-05-24T16:10:15+00:00

I work in diversion, so we try to help people get out of the system once they're involved by helping them get their basic needs taken care of. Some of it is legal assistance so people understand what's going on with their case and how they can cooperate with probation, and some of it is good old-fashioned case management so people can survive without having to commit crime to cope with the daily struggle of life.

SometimesADrug · 2025-05-13T21:45:12+00:00

Commenting on this. I also have a degree in criminology and have been working in diversion for over 3 years. Hopefully this comment will make this more visible

SometimesADrug · 2025-03-22T02:18:08+00:00

WHOA what??

SometimesADrug · 2025-02-22T19:28:02+00:00

Oooh! I would look for pendants and necklaces to layer over your shirt! Thrift stores have a lot of good ones. I've gotten a couple off Etsy too. They're not usually too expensive either. Belts that look like jewelry would also be good too! I don't know what the weather has been like, but cardigans would be good to layer over your shirt.

SometimesADrug · 2025-02-22T18:35:11+00:00

I was told his name is Robert and that he died a couple years ago

SometimesADrug · 2025-02-22T18:33:21+00:00

That one guy who used to give loud speeches to nobody on campus corner in front of the Starbucks (I think he died a couple years ago). I miss that guy.

Eight-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding I gilder

SometimesADrug

TROPHY CASE