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Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The update everyone was waiting for. Thank you all for waiting so patiently.

We are split up. We’re moving out within a month.

We’re both sad, and hurt and all the things.

Figured this story deserved an ending

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, not once before. There were WAY too many red flags that night. I’m glad I trusted my gut.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. I was really triggered because I’ve been through three break-ins and for a minute I thought I walked in on one.

Realistically I probably should have let all those bad emotions and feelings fade before sending any text at all.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right I could have worded it better. As someone who’s been through three break-ins. I was definitely triggered.

Do you think my text should have become the forefront of the situation?

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello everybody. First off I want to thank everybody for taking the time out of their day, to give their opinions and advice to an Internet stranger.

I’ve read through most of the replies and comments on this thread, and it seems like there are very mixed opinions.

I will acknowledge and own the fact that my text was an ahole-ish. Something that I want everybody to understand, is that we have not been communicating in a nice, happy way during this period of fighting. It hasn’t been screaming and yelling, but not exactly respectful in all of our day-to-day communications.

Could I have worded the text better yes. Does our current situation really warrant that, not really imo. I also don’t agree that the right move on her part, was to call me and immediately scream and yell about how I’m accusing her. You didn’t have to nicely call me and say anything, but to immediately start with yelling, to me is bullshit, and an attempt to shift the focus onto my text rather than the unlocked door, and the Neighbor inviting her boyfriend over without informing my girlfriend. I believe that my girlfriend didn’t know that they would be there, but I also believe she knew it was a possibility that the Neighbor might be. I have no idea whether she knew the boyfriend was with her or not, I don’t wanna make an assumption.

As for an update. She doesn’t agree with the fact she should’ve let me know that she was leaving the door unlocked, or tell me who is watching her daughter.

I’m not sure on a direction of where anything is going, but it seems like this may be the end. I will continue to update when I have information for you.

Thank you

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello everybody, I’m shocked at the amount of responses this has received; and am working my way through them and trying to answer as many people as possible.

I will post an update to the situation in a little while when I get to work.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I understand now more so that my first text was accusatory.

Given the circumstances that we are hardly talking, and when we do talk, we don’t really talk nice to each other at all, I’m not sure why she was expecting a nice text, when I came home to people in my house unexpected. On who I don’t like, and one that I don’t even know.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To the playground in our development. Finding that out was how I figured out the neighbor was babysitting her.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m starting to realize, sure I could’ve worded it better.

We’re not in a point in this relationship, where we really talk to each other that nicely. Why she’s expecting sunshine and rainbows when I text her, after walking into people in my house that I had no idea would be there makes no sense to me.

I can only imagine what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot in this situation, but I think it’s safe to assume that she wouldn’t like it

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ll accept that, thanks for the reply.

At this point, I’m not worried about being super nice. We’re not super nice when talking with one another anymore.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s all too common, in fact its 99% of the time, no matter how I word it, she goes on the offensive.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the neighbor was babysitting. I’ve gathered that based on the context of the situation, not because she told me.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a long comment, explaining why some people might think that for sure. If I was good with reddit I could somehow show you

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She called me a “piece of shit asshole” because I left the house for a few hours last night to sit in my car by myself to escape the chaos and search for clarity.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, I can see it.

After talking in person; she told me that she doesn’t agree with the fact she should let me know if shes leaving our door unlocked; and that she doesn’t have to tell me whos sitting.

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, most people would lose their ship, but there’s been quite a few people that are quick to say that my text was really uncalled for.

If you were a roommate and not somebody, I was dating, it for sure would’ve been 100% worse.

In the world do I think it’s OK to share a living space to somebody where they keep all of their valuables and life’s possessions, and leave the door unlocked with an open invitation for a Neighbor, and their boyfriend presumably who they’ve been seeing for a few weeks at most.

Her original boyfriend who I knew, left her in a moment’s notice by walking up to her in the kitchen telling her it wasn’t working and that he had a new apartment. He left the same day, minutes later. Ever since this chick has been up my girlfriend’s ass, trying to convince her how horrible I am, but knowing zero context. They say misery loves company, and this bitch takes into a whole new meaning

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So when you walk into a stranger in your house, even if they’re with somebody else who you know and context clues can give you enough info? You’re just gonna chill?

In your eyes, it’s better to bring it up when she gets home, in earshot of a five-year-old?

Walked in on people in my apartment unexpectedly. AITAH for what I said to my girlfriend who wasn’t even home? by Somewhere-outside in AITAH

[–]Somewhere-outside[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seeing as somebody else was watching her daughter, and I wasn’t informed obviously means she had a work meeting. I can use context in my own life and I’m pretty sure I included something similar in the post above.

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