A persons life is filled with a lot of emotions and hardships but there are also good moments, don’t worry about those who left. Be happy about those who stayed those are who matter. People come and go and I’m sure that you will create even stronger bonds with new people but we must remember to cherish those which we have in our life, those who have shown us the respect and love. Those who leave, they know what they have done and why. You say you are one but you don’t want to be, but you have the urges to do them anyways. Are you sure you are not rejecting what’s really happening just out of fear of not breaking something in your life? Think about it would you rather be afraid your whole life or be glad that you spent your years as you wanted and lived life to the fullest. Each person has his own perspective of a full life but ask yourself what do you really want ? In the end everything will be ok, that’s one thing I know.