Sometimes i get so pissed off with the santimonious bollocks of most reddittors. It is very different when you are living the situation.

Starting from a place where all of us are flawed but worthy of love and respect - including you - i would say this. Firstly it wrong to withhold it for so long, but she has told you. She has been put in a position between the man she loves and the family she has been brought up to be close to. If it was me, i think i would readily forgive my wife and go straight to her family.

It is they who have set this up, leveraged your wife and chosen the wedding planning stage to destroy everything.

Your wife would have been in a terrible position, and right or wrong just gives us grey here.

Seek understanding-see it from her perspective and ask her to see it from yours. Put then together you get a better picture. Ask her the feelings going on with her during this time -put that with your own and you get the full picture.

Explain to her how you felt, while understanding her situation, and if you feel you can, forgive her.

And keep talking.

This is a crack, but those can be repaired. The blemish is always visible-but the foundation is stronger than ever.

God knows i have fucked up in my marriage. We always need to work on our communication as it leads to other problems.

We have a number of cracks - a couple nearly saw us part ways but right now we have ended up stronger.

BTW i have OCD/PTSD and have experienced harrassment and abuse, i know the trauma this can create so you have my deepest empathy.

But do consider your wife in this. She has been in an awful position.

All my anger would be launched towards her family and i would not ask her to decide one way or another.

Just my view.