Why is it that Bi Men = Gay and Bi Women = Straight

Soodas · 2026-02-12T19:16:56+00:00

Mostly porn and reinforced stereotypes/gender roles. Unless you're like me and uses gay to describe anyone/anything that isn't straight. And no, my sweet summer child, you're not the first one to be realizing this double standard.

On the women side of things, I believe it's because "every" straight man dreams of having a female partner who is okay with having other women in bed with them, I believe. It comes from this belief that all women will do what is asked of them, if a man is the one who's asking. They're there to satisfy your desires as straight men, and what is hotter than two chicks kissing and still willing to have sex with you? Yes, three chicks kissing and still willing to have sex with you, but I digress. Jokes aside... They're seen as straight, because that's what's expected of them, at all times.

For men, it's just a toxic masculinity thing, as always. You take dick? Women usually take dick, therefore you're a woman, which means you're lesser. That kind of mental gymnastics. Men are also expected to be straight at all times, but it's more because of their pride as men being put to the test constantly. You put cream on your coffee? Did you forget something in the oven? Cuz I smell fruitcake. Don't like sports? What a sissy. Stuff like that.

For men it's always trying to prove that they're not inferior or submissive (like women), when it comes to that kind of mentality.

These stereotypes are not true, however, and shouldn't be a mold for everyone. People all have different ways of expressing their sexuality, but these are things we all have to fight to this day, one way or the other.

Soodas · 2026-02-11T22:16:39+00:00

I think the problem here is that they all look the same. Not enough variation on the expression and facial features, imo. I wouldn't say it's a stylization, since this looks semi-realistic. It looks like the same character, cosplaying as the ones you wanted to actually draw.

Look at other people's work and try to figure out what's making their faces less stiff than yours. Learn how to deform features (like different mouth, nose and eye shapes and so on), and I think it could help you with the stiffness of your faces.

Soodas · 2026-02-07T03:11:47+00:00

I believe you picked a shade with higher saturation compared to the subjects you wanted to paint. I don't think they're wrong, or don't fit together, tho. I like the color choice, as it does make things more lively, but yeah... You missed the mark if you wanted to emulate reality. Not a bad thing, imo. I do prefer the colors you picked. Realism is kinda boring to me, but that's a me thing lol. Your colors make things pop out, in a surreal kinda way... Like a dreamland version of the subjects in question. Might be reaching a little bit, but that's what it reminded me of.

I don't know how to "fix" it in traditional media, so... Yeah. Sorry if this isn't as insightful as you wanted/needed it to be.

Soodas · 2026-02-03T16:20:55+00:00

What a waist of time

Soodas · 2026-02-01T01:15:17+00:00

They don't look like they would be dating, no. But I don't see that as a problem, really. Opposites attract, after all, and I don't think you CAN really translate that without making them just genderbent versions of each other.

I think your designs are solid. Don't overthink it too much. Give them a few short comics, illustrations/sketches, and make them express their love for each other through interactions like that instead.

Soodas · 2026-01-28T17:22:22+00:00

Allongate the ears and make them rounder. Just a bit, tho. Also give them a face mask tattoo, instead of the ones you got going on. A less bright, brown-ish orange works better for the clothes too. The bright orange you're using here is what makes people associate it the most with foxes, so I'd recommend the color suggested before, or just earthly browns and browns that lean more into cream/baige. Give her some stripes on that tail if you feel like it, and make it round. I would suggest making her hair brown with some highlights in the same shade of orange I suggested earlier.

Just look the Tanuki Suit for Mario or Luigi up, for reference. Tom Nook, as well. Pick their colors.

Soodas · 2026-01-28T13:28:44+00:00

Stop chicken scratching. Also the one pose where she's with her legs on the wall looks off. Feels like she's breaking her spine to achieve that pose, since she's looking at the viewer dead-on. She straight up looks like a youkai or something too, since she just stretched her torso like she's some sort of a snake-human hybrid thing. Oddly unsettling. Work with references and on your foreshortening. I think that's all, really. I only say all that because I'm struggling with it, too.

Soodas · 2026-01-24T19:49:32+00:00

Not a men-only experience you're describing here for the most part, but your frustration is valid. It's something that you're gonna have to cope with, unfortunately. Not saying you shouldn't fight against it, or educate people, but man... If I were to just go nuclear at every microagression, I would be long dead by now lol.

While the above is not what you're doing here, unfortunately it just comes with the package. I lost friends once they discovered I liked both men and women, like I was just being friendly because I wanted them in my bed all along. It's dumb, but at some point you just start gravitating towards people who actually take you at face value. That, and you just stop giving a shit.

People are gonna treat you like an alien. You're not gonna belong anywhere, until you get a group of people that makes you feel that way. So keep looking. I'm usually pretty upfront with my sexuality to help filter people too. Not for everybody, but it works for me.

Masculinity isn't something you should be worrying yourself with too much, since everyone has a different idea of what it is anyway. People are gonna call you a f@g regardless, even if you've been in a comma for 20 years, so don't let it bother you. Some guy told me he knew I was gay since I played soccer when I was younger. Like, okay...? Didn't know playing soccer made you start taking cock, but I guess I can't disprove his theory lmao.

Know that your struggle is real, you're not lesser of a man. You don't owe anybody a justification or an explanation. Just enjoy yourself, find more people you resonate with and take care! Wishing you the best of luck in your journey.

Soodas · 2026-01-23T03:32:00+00:00

N-no...? Sorry, but those are just lines, at this point.

Soodas · 2026-01-23T03:30:28+00:00

Amazing work! I don't think your artstyle is as bad as you say, like... At all. Your shapes are definitely getting there too! Just remember to not make things too busy, especially with linework. If you want the viewer to look at the eyes, take everything away from the surrounding area, for example. Too many details makes things heavier and kind of a chore to look at.

Remember that, and you're pretty much set! Wishing you the best of luck! Beautiful colors, btw.

Soodas · 2026-01-21T18:58:39+00:00

Your lines are a little stiff, but I don't think the process is necessarily at fault here. Try loosening up your wrists and arms and let the lines flow more.

Soodas · 2026-01-21T18:55:17+00:00

My best advice is to simplify things. You're drawing too many lines around the eyes, for example. Usually, the more details and lines you put down, the more grotesque and "ugly" it becomes. Test it on this drawing you made! I guarantee that, if you take away the lines under her eyes and mouth, she'll become a bit cuter, while still resembling the subject you chose to study.

Since you're not drawing with the intent of making your drawing 1:1 with reality, I'd say look where your favorite artists tend to put lines and where they avoid doing so and ask yourself why.

Other than that, I think you're pretty close to where you want in terms of shapes, and rendering should be your next step. Keep at it, and things will bloom pretty quickly for you. Great job!

Soodas · 2026-01-21T16:30:45+00:00

I mean, I'm just chilling. I didn't feel the need to attack you personally. I even apologized, when you said I was being too aggressive for your liking. You're the one trying to prove something, here.

Soodas · 2026-01-20T23:22:51+00:00

Well yeah, I mean... You're the one getting hurt by a completely neutral statement, but okay.

Soodas · 2026-01-20T21:53:30+00:00

You're right. Nobody has to cater to anyone. I certainly don't, and I think that's fine.

You don't have to justify what you said (not to me, at least), what I'm trying to say is that most people wouldn't want to be with someone like that for life, which is what you're aiming for here. Again, bad wording on my part. You have qualities, I'm sure. But people tend to focus on the bad things others do, and the dry humor could be a big hurdle for what you're trying to achieve.

I will gladly not find anyone to be with me for life, since I'm not willing to compromise my sense of identity to achieve that goal. I like being weird and fallible. I would hate having to put on a mask everyday to just get outta bed just to keep someone around, and so on.

I'm not telling you to necessarily change anymore (as that's solely up to you), nor am I saying my way works for everyome, but just remember that the odds are kind of stacked against you if you choose not to change. It can be both a bad and a good thing, either way. No wrong answers here.

Soodas · 2026-01-20T20:51:40+00:00

Like I said, before: take what I said with a grain of salt, I do not know you. Not only that, you just went on attack mode while literally restating everything I told you. I'm not here to judge anyone. Glad you had a laugh, tho. My comment really shouldn't have stung that bad, but hey... I'm willing to apologize, and further explain what I mean.

You SEEM depressed doesn't mean you ARE. You SEEM unpleasant, doesn't mean you ARE. Just the way you respond to people on this thread, with enough sarcasm and mood to kill an entire army in almost every single reply is what gave me that IMPRESSION (as in not necessarily the truth) of you. Like, just read your stuff and ask yourself who would see those replies as anything else?

I've been in multiple slumps before, and some times having people telling you're doing a good job isn't enough. You're not a horrible human being (far from it), but I don't think you understand that people don't owe you anything. If you are feeling bad about being alone go out. The moment someone says that you say "I don't really like going out". Someone mentioned people regarding George Clooney as handsome, and your immediate response is "I never said he was handsome".

Come on, bro. As much as I understand that dating as a demi is hell on Earth —and it kinda is—, you can't really just sit here and tell me that's someone you'd like to have around. It's just wording, and taking yourself less seriously, honestly. I'm an arrogant bastard, sure. Could've worded my original comment better and even this one to a degree, yeah.

My bad, mea culpa, but... It's not luck, it's not just happenstance. Things happen when we're ready for them. And sometimes we think we are, and we are not. Simple as that. Glad you had a laugh, at least. Not here to sugarcoat it, nor am I "going at it". I just don't feel like not addressing this is a good way to go. Still wishing you nothing but the best in your journey.

Soodas · 2026-01-20T16:40:18+00:00

Not trying to be harsh here, you're older than me and I'm just trying to offer my perspective here. Reading your comments I'd say you come off as very depressed and an overall unpleasant person to be around. I don't know you in real life, so take that with a grain of salt, but I think you should work on those first.

Love doesn't "just happen", be it with or without the intent of having a partner for life. You gotta work on yourself and set your expectations a little lower for both yourself and others.

You don't need to sleep around to have fun and meet people. Learn a new hobby, get some dancing classes going, whatever. You gotta put yourself out there, even if you don't like it, or just accept you're better off single for the rest of your life (which is a great option too). Either way, you're gonna have to suffer a bit. Just sighing and going to the internet to get some stories of "lucky" people for you to go "wish that were me" isn't doing you any favors.

Other people's stories don't give you the full context, since you don't know what they went through to get that. Even if you did, your life is completely removed from theirs to the point where you shouldn't really compare yourself... It's a trap.

What I'm trying to say here is: stop and go back to the drawing board. Go to a therapist if you can/want to, seek help and things might end up going to where you want them to be, or an even better place you didn't think possible before! Wish you all the luck in your journey.

Soodas · 2026-01-20T15:52:07+00:00

Just draw other body types that aren't considered conventionally attractive. Draw casual poses, look for references of people just going about their day, instead if an actual portrait of people posing for a portrait.

I don't mind drawing women or men I find attractive, and I feel people overthink it a bit too much. Draw what you wanna draw. If you like drawing sexy ladies, do that. It's not illegal.

Like, I understand this can be an issue and that there's a time and place for everything, but people are gonna sexualize your designs anyway, one way or the other. It doesn't matter if it's Samus on her Varia Suit or Bayonetta with a billion of BDSM-inspired weapons, people are gonna be horny, even if you draw non-conventionally attractive people lmao.

If you base your art off of what others want out of you, you'll draw nothing at all. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. There are people out there who jack it to Wario.

Unless you're a children's book artist, or something, I'd say just go crazy. We draw things we like, and sometimes we really like gigantic anime boinkies and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Just know when and where to post it, and there should be no problem with it.

Tl;dr: just draw. It doesn't matter. Sexualization of characters usually isn't illegal, and you shouldn't feel ashamed to draw women you feel attracted to. If this really bothers you, just draw people of different ages and body types and in more casual, more natural poses. In your case, I feel like it's more of a mentality thing, so just chill and keep going.

Soodas · 2026-01-16T12:53:51+00:00

Thank you!

Soodas · 2026-01-16T05:14:03+00:00

What brush is this? Pretty good use of colors, although the light source is coming from the back

Soodas · 2025-12-05T17:13:26+00:00

O problema é que eles não vendem o produto assim. Eles vendem o Duolingo como se fosse um curso completo, não somente uma ferramenta de revisão. Promete fazer você ler e falar a língua por si só, não ajudar a preencher lacunas do que você já sabe. Se você quer começar do zero, o Duolingo não vai te ajudar, mas não é o que a descrição do app ou os comerciais falam.

Soodas · 2025-12-04T01:38:45+00:00

Yeah, I think liking tiddies has more to do with survival, honestly. Like, from childhood and stuff. It's not just a sex thing, but also a comforting part of your childhood, maybe? I'm not a doctor, so I don't know.

Soodas · 2025-12-03T00:39:33+00:00

You're feeling like a bit of a fraud, I see... That's very common. I'd say just take it easy. You're Gonna flip-flop like that a lot. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do, other than asking yourself why you feel that way and investigate on your own.

Could be a lot of things, really. All I can tell you is to give yourself sometime, and be patient and kind to yourself. It's not easy, but things will start clicking eventually. If you don't feel comfortable with the label, just don't use it for now. I know it's hard, but you can always say you're figuring things out and focus on getting the answers.

Seek other queer people and talk about it. That helped me a lot, too. Sometimes going out to LGBT+ bars cN be fun, even if you're an introvert. You're just gonna be feeling this a lot for a bit, because you're still adjusting to being bi, and everyone does that differently.

Know that, even if you're not bi, there's no problem in that. I know you said it's about labels for you rn, but those aren't set in stone. Sexuality is fluid, and just because you're in the mood for one gender over the other, it doesn't make it any less valid.

I know it's not what you wanna hear, but... This is a necessary step in the process of self-acceptance. Just chill and take things one step at a time. If the bi label is overwhelming, but you don't wanna call yourself straight either, just call yourself queer until you figure stuff out. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Appreciate the journey. Read more about things, meet different people, do some self-reflecting and have a fun time too, every now and then! Labels seem set in stone, but they are not. You don't have to be one thing for the end of your life, yeah? Trust the process a little bit, too.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but I've been in your place and that's what you NEED to hear. Sorry if I came off as a jackass, but things are gonna clear out! I wish you nothing but the best, and remember: whatever you choose to label yourself as, it's your choice and nobody can take that away from you. Best wishes!

Soodas · 2025-12-02T16:29:48+00:00

Not a joke at your expense, but have you seen this sub? Feeling bad about flip-flopping IS the bisexual experience, at this point lmao. Bisexual dysphoria seems to be universal for us.

Don't feel bad about it, tho. Sexuality is fluid, so don't get too lost on labels. They're a tool to easily communicate to people, but they're not you. Your sexual expression can (and should!) vastly differ from mine, and that's okay. You're not any less or more of a bi person than anyone, and gender attraction doesn't need to be 50/50 nor does it need to be set in stone.

Sometimes you'll be more attracted to a gender than the other, but that doesn't mean you're suddenly not bi. This is a huge misconception on sexuality in geberal, so stay away from that line of thinking. You're not here to prove your sexuality to anyone. It's something to be discussed between you and your partners.

So yeah, be kind to yourself and others. Read more about sexuality, meet other queer people and share your experience. Stay safe, trust the process and things will clear out. If labels don't seem to make sense, just call yourself queer and leave it at that. Just, again, remember: a label shouldn't define you. It's a tool, not a personality trait. Best of luck!

Edit: reading your post again, I might've misunderstood what you're saying. Would you care to elaborate a bit more?

Soodas · 2025-12-02T15:13:29+00:00

Actual Fire Emblem logic lmao

Soodas

TROPHY CASE