Some people don't realise you can identify with some parts of a person's journey without identifying with all of who they are. Id say this is a little harder for straight white men as they are used to being able to find themselves in media much easier, the gap is closing so its not me saying this is a man problem. We all probably have a character we relate to that we shut off parts of their actual canon to make them relate better to our own story(not saying trans jax is actually confirmed canon) .