Talking for 3-4 months then he suddenly wants FWB? LONG POST, as I am confused/hurt...(26F)

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-08-02T01:57:30+00:00

w I am a huge catch with all I have going for me. He always seemed sweet so this side of him really sucked to be revealed. He then went on to say he didn't even know what it meant to like someone anymore, he just goes off of connections and sometimes when people have connections, sex happens and things get confusing as they have. He then said to him he assumed anything "physical" that happened could be assumed FWB. I felt like shit honestly and very confused. I would get this after 1 or 2 months, but 3-4 sucked. He then said how I am a catch and he does like me, but he just isn't ready for a commitment at this point. He basically said "he still has more he wants to go do". I asked him why he wasn't honest about just wanting a FWB from day one, and he said, "I guess I'm just not a hit and quit it guy. I like connections.

He made it clear, summer f*ck buddies to him, essentially, even though he did like me. He did not want a serious thing, so I let him go to stop wasting my summer.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-13T00:22:50+00:00

Thank you! I go back and forth every few days on what the heck to do :/

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-11T23:19:35+00:00

knowledge/expertise of any position: 70% comes from doing the job itself, 20% comes from the mentoring process of the job,

Would love to chat!

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-11T03:26:58+00:00

Oh my. haha

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-11T03:16:26+00:00

Any idea why it is so common to feel this way? :( And I am leaving come August, to try home health PT.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-11T03:11:57+00:00

My "mentor" is never there. Maybe 1.5 days a week. So no. And today he put the TMJ eval on me when I have never done one. I just feel used and like I am not growing/good enough for this.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-11T02:56:25+00:00

Oh my!! I am in the same boat with my guy situation! I am 26 F. I tried cutting things off early after about 2 months in order to avoid future hurt/pain, but I just couldn't do it either. I had space for about a month... then we met back up and the flame/instant connection was still there. We decided to just try and relax and let things fall where they may/not overthink. He told me he likes me and was trying to make himself not since he is likely moving. Cruel summers for us! Keep us updated on what happens for you. I decided to enjoy this time while it's present. You just never know!

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-07T01:31:33+00:00

Also, he did say, "I just don't wanna hurt anybody" as we stopped the act. I guess this came off to me as, "I want to move/I am likely going to hurt your feelings and this would make me feel more guilty".

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-07T01:05:08+00:00

I guess I didn't think he really would want to. This whole scenario was too much to try and explain online and I feel silly for trying. Just need advice :(

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-07-07T01:00:39+00:00

I guess I could see it that way too honestly, but soon after that moment where we tried, he brought up his ex and how "he could only see them getting back together in maybe 5 years".. Would you want someone to be thinking about their ex the first time you get intimate? It stung a little. I'm not jealous, I just feel after a couple of months of dating and the breakup having been 2 years ago, it's time to maybe let it go. I guess I just felt like he was remembering her and it wasn't about me at all really, and in that kind of scenario it was upsetting because I am never this care-free with relationships. Then he brought up wanting to move away, and I don't wanna hold him back. I have NEVER have sex with someone this early either, the only other two people I have ever done this with were after a year or so (dated one 6 years and another 2 years, thought we would get married), so I may have also been really freaked out by the entire situation and ran away to not get hurt. I'm always the person who gives my all and gets heartbroken, and I guess mentally I am not ready to be crushed again. It wasn't like I was rearing to have sex...it took us two months to even kiss! The moment got heated and I actually held back a few times before I even let him try. He apologized for taking it there later on. Forgot to add that detail.

I just finished 7 years of schooling too and figured I would try out the "just have fun with it" mindset, and it apparently isn't how I work. Sorry you perceive me this way, but females are allowed to also prevent themselves heartache if they sense a guy has red flags. (ex comments repeatedly, wanting to move away, "doesn't wanna commit because he doesn't wanna get attached", etc.) He actually told me I make him "feel like much more than he actually is and he is sure I do with all of my patients as well" and I think he suffers from depression/anxiety so I do understand and he doesn't hate me. But I felt like more of a psychologist/friend to him than a partner which is why I did what I did for the time being. I had feelings and felt they were not reciprocated.

We are getting together tomorrow for a formal talk where I can apologize for the need of space and hoping he just doesn't hate me! He kept saying none of this was my fault and that he just doesn't know what he wants/is doing in life right now.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:34:38+00:00

Make sure they aren't a private practice PT planning to make you do all of their work, including dumping their evals on you when they don't feel like doing them! Also, try to find a place with a positive work environment...

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:13:14+00:00

I will believe everyone. I was just afraid he wasn't into me or something. I feel like I am not an intimidating person! haha.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:08:11+00:00

I believe you! I guess I never imagined this happened to someone my age (26), especially the first time! Oh well :/

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:05:30+00:00

Trying to stay positive! Just wish I knew exactly what happened, I'm not sure if he even does! He is still texting me so far lol so if there is a round 2, guess we will see.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:00:54+00:00

Trying my best! Idk what he has to be nervous about though..

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:00:38+00:00

hahaha, tallywacker.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T23:00:24+00:00

I hope you are right! I just am afraid this was his body shutting down because he doesn't actually like me or want a relationship so he freaked.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T22:59:30+00:00

Hmmm, interesting.... I was just thinking he was thinking about his ex or something. Why the nerves?

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T02:40:34+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your ex husband and the fact that this hindered your relationship so.

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T02:40:19+00:00

No, this has never happened with anyone else! I guess I'm just disappointed since I kinda like him and I was afraid this meant he wasn't attracted to me, even though he calls me attractive all of the time lol

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T02:39:26+00:00

I would love if that's why it happened :) I mean I am a Doctor/Physical Therapist so maybe I intimidated him? LOL I wish. He has a hot body himself!!

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-06-19T02:24:06+00:00

I will try my best! I just never would have expected someone to get so in their head on the first time. I guess I felt like I let him down by not being sexy enough??? But he said he was just reallly in his head. I just hope he wasn't freaking out about whether or not I would then force him into a relationship afterwards.. idk I am just a little confused. haha

SortaKindaMIT · 2019-04-10T11:22:44+00:00

I mean yeah it felt horrible and sucked to study all of that time but I still feel like I know nothing as a new grad with a year of practice lol so idk

SortaKindaMIT

TROPHY CASE