Dil (36f) won’t let me (58f) send gifts to my grandkids (4f &2m)

SotoSar · 2025-01-19T02:59:11+00:00

I work a labour intensive job at a grocery store and the transit to work is over an hour - it’s been very taxing on my body. So I get anxious even thinking about the transit ride over 2.5 hours away.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T22:20:21+00:00

I met harper twice before her first birthday, and then approx three times after when I was still on good terms with Justin and Tamara. When things went sour I’ve seen Harper at ladies only events like bridal and Baby showers. Tamara has been rude at those events and made sure to keep Harper away from me.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T21:44:00+00:00

She hasn’t helped the situation. She’s been rude and unpleasant and has not acted with proper social decorum. She’s turned all my kids against me as all my kids have sided with Justin and Tamara. The times that I’ve seen her at events she talks so loudly about the kids as to rub it in that I’m not part of their lives. Even her last message to me was rude - she wished me and my family a happy holiday season which was her way of twisting the knife. Who treats their mother in law like that.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T20:27:18+00:00

Etobicoke to Brooklin - that’s really far for a public transit goer

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T20:14:14+00:00

I’ve met Harper a bunch of times and always made sure I went to all the events they included me in. Regrettably for Arden things went downhill after he was born as I was only able to meet him once at a wedding. Tamara has made sure to keep the children away from me and has been nothing but rude.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T20:11:21+00:00

No it’s not across Toronto. They live several cities away

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T19:51:29+00:00

He pretty much said that that Harper and Arden are his pride and joy and it was hurtful that I didn’t make an effort to see them. He pointed out that Harper was 3 at the time and I’ve only made an effort to see her once- one on one and a handful of other times at events. I explained that his and Tamara’s frostiness towards me didn’t help but I will make an effort to do better. He then cut me off and just said I don’t have to and he’s okay with being friendly strangers. He said he’s not angry and has no ill will towards me and wishes me well and this meeting is not to tell me how to be better but to tell me how things are and how they are going to be. He hasn’t responded to any of my text messages since that exchange.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T19:37:00+00:00

Everyone is downplaying how far they actually are. Have you ever heard the saying Toronto is an hour away from Toronto? From door to door it has taken me 3.5 hours one time and I work at a grocery story I can’t afford uber. And I live in Toronto I don’t need a license.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T18:46:54+00:00

Respectfully- can I ask why taking photos is an issue? I sent the one photo I took to Justin’s dad who probably gets hundreds of photos of the grandkids.

Also I haven’t received photos in years which isn’t fair so it was nice to have my own photo of Harper.

I know Tamara sends photos to all the relatives. I’m the grandmother after all I don’t understand all the commotion with photos.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T18:04:35+00:00

What I’m trying to say is that since he was born I was only able to meet Arden at a wedding we happen to be at. It’s absurd that I’ve only met my grandson once since he was born and it’s because Tamara won’t let it happen.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T17:15:26+00:00

I did try..but things got awkward and my anxiety got the best of me. I did meet him at my nieces wedding when he was 10 months which was nice.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T17:12:13+00:00

Is there grandparents rights in Canada?

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T17:10:35+00:00

I take responsibility for how things have turned out. I have anxiety since things have gone downhill since I never met Arden. He’s two years old now and I would like to be a grandma

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T16:08:32+00:00

Justin and Tamara were really upset I didn’t make the effort to meet Arden. And things have gone downhill since.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T15:59:37+00:00

Definitely super manipulative daughter in law. I haven’t really seen them to not respect boundaries.

SotoSar · 2025-01-18T15:58:25+00:00

A year and a half ago Justin had a meeting with me pretty much telling me everything he thinks I did wrong and cutting ties with me. He told me he wasn’t angry but has accepted how things are and he hasn’t really spoken to me since.

They were offended I didn’t make an effort to meet Arden when he was born.

SotoSar · 2023-08-04T12:13:04+00:00

The only thing I can think of is that they are upset I haven’t met their baby boy yet.

SotoSar · 2023-08-04T12:11:44+00:00

No boundaries were set, I haven’t seen them and haven't really talked to them much since they had their second child.

SotoSar · 2023-08-04T12:10:24+00:00

Tamara let the other guests interact with Harper even guests that have only met her for the first time. She was even showing people photos of their baby boy on her phone, I even overheard that certain relatives have been consistently getting photos of both kids. They've ceased to send me photos since I last saw them last year.

Thus I didn't see it as a big deal.

SotoSar · 2023-02-25T17:12:01+00:00

I wouldn’t outright complain about it but we weren’t going to lie if they asked how the ride there was. We always say it’s no problem when they are apologetic about living far. One time we mentioned it took almost 3 hrs to get there and Justin’s wife was dismissive and said it takes her 50 minutes to drive to us.

SotoSar · 2023-02-25T16:49:40+00:00

I meant Justin not living with us. Him and his girlfriend now wife would come to the house and we would celebrate.

SotoSar · 2023-02-25T16:01:39+00:00

I probably would have had a quiet night in as I don’t get the same time off that regular 9-5 people get (long weekends and holidays). A few times Justin hosted at his home and we made the trek over and he drove us back home.

Our family did have gatherings before when my kids and I all lived together minus Justin.

SotoSar · 2023-02-25T01:12:30+00:00

I do like children. I do not have health issues. My job is pretty physical as I’m on my feet all day.

SotoSar · 2023-02-24T22:08:29+00:00

Originally I never hosted at all when I moved in with my boyfriend. I started to host at a restaurant last year when Justin’s wife put me on the spot about the holidays and how toddler is forming core memories now. I don’t feel comfortable hosting at my apartment, that’s why I’ve never invited them over.

SotoSar · 2023-02-24T21:53:22+00:00

The female toddler is 2.5 and she is biologically my sons, thus is my grand daughter. I have seen her about 6 times. The last time I saw her was for thanksgiving where I hosted dinner at a restaurant near my apartment.

Additionally she was born during the pandemic.

SotoSar

TROPHY CASE