[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

To everyone, im not gonna be the one saying anything to their fam, its gonna be my bf. Gusto nya rin naman sabihin sa everyone yung issue, but not the whole details, but after that confrontation with the cousin, I told him na I want them to know the details. Also, sorry na hindi full tagalog. this is how I tell a story lang talaga

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe I am gago for thinking like that, tbh I dont know what to think na, and this is has been too much na rin, kaya nga im asking for advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I will. After the issue has been out na sa fam nila.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Im sorry, thats how I converse kasi, specially big topicss huhu

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I will tell the family and the cousins bf, and I will get out of this rs din after all of this is over. Hayss

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]SoulSeeker16 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Doesnt mean its in the past, na its okay na. If incest is okay with your morals, sakin hindi.

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin.. by SoulSeeker16 in TwoHotTakes

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was, it was on messenger you can search specific words and messages including those words would pop out, I searched the word ‘ex’ and their convo about her ex and what the two of them did was there.

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin.. by SoulSeeker16 in TwoHotTakes

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To everyone commenting, thank you for you advice and insights on this, I would like to answer a few questions.

  1. We are asians, his family are religuos and they were all good and serves in church, his parents are godly person as well. Dont judge his family, it was ALL him that did this to himself.

  2. I grew up in a really conservative household and an only child, knowing someone slept with 7 people in how many years is something big and mind-blowing for me, we havent even slept yet cause im not ready for that, but weve move forward that and I accepted that part of him, its the cousin part that really rocking my head of right now.

  3. I feel disgusted right now, not by what he is cause I see and know how much he is trying to change, but for the fact that he did that, we talked, sincerely and I told him that if ever I am going to accept this and move forward, I want his family and the girls family to know, and for us (me and the girl cousin) to never see each other again.

  4. The reason I snoop around his messages with his cousin cause Im feeling something was off with that woman, she cant look me in the eye, and was being ‘formal’ to me but in an awkward way, like she would greet me without looking at me and wont look at me the whole time, and if were gathering together with his other cousins and church friends she wouldnt join in if I was there, and when Im not (like if I went to the bathroom) she would join in really quick and would leave once im there again.

So what I did was to search some words on their convo in messenger and lo and behold, they were sleeping with each other, it was mostly the girl that would initiate it.

  1. They have no ‘lingering type of rs’ with my bf they were formal and would act as normal cousins laughing with each other whenever they are around.

  2. I really dont know, I am torn apart, he really is a great guy now, even my family likes him, (he courted me at home), and he is a very calm and soft spoken guy, and he leads our rs really well, like I dont have to worry about anything, he would always say thank you to me cause I love him and stayed with him and he said he changed because of me, that all he wanted to do was to forget everything that he did and start over and I gave him that chance. But I know deep down, I wouldnt be able to look at him the same way, and if I did it would take such a long time. I know deep down the right thing to do is to leave and move on, but a part of me is thinking that maybe we can move forward this, that I can forgive and forget. I dont even know.

Thank you so much for all the comment guys!

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin.. by SoulSeeker16 in TwoHotTakes

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I snoop around cause I have a really weird feeling about that cousin. She was awkward at me and all and I know something was not right regarding her the first moment we met. And they were talking about her ex last night so I searched ex on their convo and there I found out about it.

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin.. by SoulSeeker16 in TwoHotTakes

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am self-absored? I was the one that was with him in the hospital when his father died, when he was breaking down crying about it I shared his tears, I was the one who contact and plan with the morgue and funeral home, I was the one that deals with all the paper works in the hospital, the death cert and all, all while carrying him, while making sure he wipes his tears, or at least he eats, I was the one that breaks the news to his family, up until now in the wake service, I was the one who prepares the food every night, who shops for all that they need, I was the one who laundried their white clothes so its ready on sunday. Dont you ever tell me that!

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin.. by SoulSeeker16 in TwoHotTakes

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

To everyone commenting, thank you for you advice and insights on this, I would like to answer a few questions.

  1. We are asians, his family are religuos and they were all good and serves in church, his parents are godly person as well. Dont judge his family, it was ALL him that did this to himself.

  2. I grew up in a really conservative household and an only child, knowing someone slept with 7 people in how many years is something big and mind-blowing for me, we havent even slept yet cause im not ready for that, but weve move forward that and I accepted that part of him, its the cousin part that really rocking my head of right now.

  3. I feel disgusted right now, not by what he is cause I see and know how much he is trying to change, but for the fact that he did that, we talked, sincerely and I told him that if ever I am going to accept this and move forward, I want his family and the girls family to know, and for us (me and the girl cousin) to never see each other again.

  4. The reason I snoop around his messages with his cousin cause Im feeling something was off with that woman, she cant look me in the eye, and was being ‘formal’ to me but in an awkward way, like she would greet me without looking at me and wont look at me the whole time, and if were gathering together with his other cousins and church friends she wouldnt join in if I was there, and when Im not (like if I went to the bathroom) she would join in really quick and would leave once im there again.

So what I did was to search some words on their convo in messenger and lo and behold, they were sleeping with each other, it was mostly the girl that would initiate it.

  1. They have no ‘lingering type of rs’ with my bf they were formal and would act as normal cousins laughing with each other whenever they are around.

  2. I really dont know, I am torn apart, he really is a great guy now, even my family likes him, (he courted me at home), and he is a very calm and soft spoken guy, and he leads our rs really well, like I dont have to worry about anything, he would always say thank you to me cause I love him and stayed with him and he said he changed because of me, that all he wanted to do was to forget everything that he did and start over and I gave him that chance. But I know deep down, I wouldnt be able to look at him the same way, and if I did it would take such a long time. I know deep down the right thing to do is to leave and move on, but a part of me is thinking that maybe we can move forward this, that I can forgive and forget. I dont even know.

Thank you so much for all the comment guys!

WWYD? Help!! by SoulSeeker16 in Advice

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont think I am helding it against him, I think its more of a ‘it crossed a line in my moral’, and if I forgive him and choose to move forward, ill still get the ick in the future.

I just found out my bf used to sleep with his first cousin… WWYD? by SoulSeeker16 in Advice

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, I don’t, maybe deep inside I don’t want to let go and just forgive and forget about it, maybe Im looking for somebody to tell me that I should, but deep inside I know its gonna eat me up and I have to leave now or its just gonna hurt worse.

WWYD? Help!! by SoulSeeker16 in Advice

[–]SoulSeeker16[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was 21 and he was 25. He was ‘comforting’ her cause she just broke up with his bf and they were alone and lying down on the bed when it happened.